Hard to say goodbye...to food :(

I just found this site and am so excited to get support! My bypass is scheduled for June 26, and since being on this liquid pre-op diet, I'm surprised at how SAD I feel about not having food. I know I'd much rather be healthier and slimmer than keep eating crap, but I do miss the crap already. Does it get better with time? What have some of you turned to instead of food? I'm so anxious and full of questions.

If you don't have one, find yourself a therapist to talk it out with. Yes, it's hard. Sometimes very hard. I'm early out from surgery (5 months), but for me, it goes in waves. I will go weeks without really caring a lick about food and then we'll go to a gathering where I have to use every ounce of willpower to make good choices and it frustrates me and all the anger comes back.

This surgery is certainly mostly mental! The physical part is easy.

As the saying goes, they operate on your stomach not your head. Yes it gets better (it did for me) but I also worked with a therapist. I was already in therapy for other reasons when I decided on WLS. We simply worked it into our discussions and I kept with the therapy for a couple of years post-op.

You don't need to "turn" to anything else. That's the addiction talking. WLS is a major step but not a quick fix. You really need to understand why you're so sad and how to get beyond it without simply finding something else to replace it. You can't give up food (like you would other addictions such as drugs or alcohol). Honestly food will play a critical role post WLS. It's learning about making the right choices.

Welcome!

I'm eight months post VSG and it has been a long goodbye to my old thoughts/habits. The liquid diet was, by far, the most acutely difficult time because I still had the ability to eat/overeat, but had to choose to feel hungry. Immediately after was different because eating off plan wasn't physically an option, and physical hunger was gone, so it felt more like mourning. Then I got into a rhythm, and weight started to go and I felt more "at peace". Now, I am back to being able to physically eat things I shouldn't and my mental work has kicked into high gear. I've been in therapy for years and food addiction is part of what we are working on.

All of that being said, I don't care about food anywhere near the way I did before my surgery. When I would diet pre surgery I would think about food all the time. I never felt like I was in control, I felt like food drove me. My surgery has given me a sense of power that I've never experienced.

Two things that helped me immensely: Looking at Before and After photos on this site and window shopping.

I found a lady on here who looked like she could be my identical twin. We had the same body, same hair, same coloring and she was wearing an outfit in her Before that looked like she picked it from my closet.

I marveled at her After picture. That gave me confidence that I could be slim and wearing tiny sizes like her. I bookmarked her profile and looked at the pictures often.

The other thing I did was go to the mall and look at clothes that I could wear after surgery. My husband thought I was being ridiculous when I would point out a tiny little dress and say I would get one like it next Spring.

I believe in visual goals. I achieved my goals by keeping visions in my mind of what was going to happen. I replaced thoughts of food with thoughts of my new body.

It worked for me.

Please consider seeking out a therapist that specializes in eating disorders now. I cannot express to you how important a strong support system is to being successful and maintaining that success after surgery.

YES. I completely relate to your feelings. It has taken a lot of introspection and hard work to overcome my food addiction. Surgery does not fix those feelings. It can be very difficult after surgery when your best coping device isn't available to you -- so having that support system is key.

I haven't had surgery yet. I was in a bariatric program about 9 years ago for 6 months and backed out right before surgery because I knew I was lying to myself and everyone else that I was ready. I had a LOT of emotional work to do. Now I am back and starting the process again. I think it is key to be HONEST and to share what you are feeling with the people that are there to help you. I agree whole heartedly that therapy is a good idea. This is hard work. I still worry about what it will be like and will I succeed and will I be able to handle the changes and emotions that come up. Will I be able to handle the grief and loss of my major coping mechanism for the past 40 years? I have my support network set up, I'm here gaining knowledge through all you folks and I am committed to doing the best I can and pushing myself when I think I can't. I know this more than you asked for or maybe not quite what you asked for but I wanted you to know you are not alone and that you need to get lots of help for yourself because you are worth it:-)

I actually believe the fact that you backed out once and are asking these difficult questions bodes well for you. That you are considering all the emotional aspects means that you won't be caught by surprise in the future.

Kudos to you!

I highly concur with the suggestions of finding a therapist to work with - a lot of us used food for whatever - comfort, alleviation of boredom, something - prior to surgery and it's hard to figure out how to fill that void. Especially if using food was an addiction because you don't want to replace it with a different addiction.

Good habits get easier with practice. The bad ones are often still there calling out your name and trying to lure you back, but practice helps. It helps you to ignore the call and it helps you to engage in your healthy habits.

It's hard. It's hard every day. But it's also worth it.