NSV and maybe also partially a failure...?

For the first time in a very long time I had a date with someone. I've always been so shy and quiet and between my emotional issues and my weight, I didn't even like the thought of being near someone. Thanks to what I've lost (even with so much more to lose) and my therapy, I was able to agree to go out with a girl I've been talking to for a little bit. I was still very shy, but I made it which was a surprise even to myself. We had a lunch and gym date and got a long soo well.

My failure was the lunch date, I definitely ate off plan with a more calorie heavy and carb heavy meal than I'm used to. I didn't over eat, but it was breaded fish and we all know how much is in that breading . I did feel guilty and wished I had picked a better choice, but I was all nervous and moon eyes at my attractive date.

Overall, I am so thankful for everything that's happened to me in the last year though. Not just WLS, but the therapy I got when I so desperately needed it. A year ago, less than even, I was on the edge of just sort of ending everything for myself (not trying to get any sympathy, my head space is so great compared to then). And even if I stopped losing weight and didn't lose another pound I will always be thankful for the progress of my health and mind (though let's hope that doesn't happen please WLS Gods ).

Congrats on the date! Sounds like your confidence is building and things are going well for you - great to hear

In regards to eating out off a menu... do you eat out often? If you only eat out occasionally I would say don't bother with the guilt and just enjoy the food. It is nice to treat ourselves occasionally and as long as you aren't indulging in deep fried, high sugar, high fat, carby food regularly and only having a small portion then enjoy yourself!

I believe we have to get our minds to think of food as fuel, and also as something we can enjoy (in small portions with the help of our new tool). I buy myself lindt dark chocolate which comes in singular squares and indulge every other day in a few pieces but I make sure to always keep count on my fitness pal.

So don't get down on yourself, celebrate every success and keep at it. Here's to another successful date I hope ;)

I do eat out a decent amount. Twice a week is what I consider decent. Generally I go places that are easy for me. This fish place is easy, I just made a bad choice! Normally I would have gone with a shrimp scampi, or grilled fish/chicken. I'm not even sure why I picked breaded, because I wasn't craving it, I think it was an old habit that just snuck in since I only ever ate breaded before.

And thank you, I hope so too!

Well, the "win" is that you recognized the bad choice and have taken responsibility. I think you may have even recognized the why of your choice -- so important to help you plan in the future. ---

So, I would say that you've successfully overcome an obstacle.

F it! For real, you were on a date and you ate something weird. Your mind was prob all over the place and who knows why you ordered that. It's not worth worrying about unless you always pick breaded fish when you're with her and then you might have some more therapy to go to :-) Honestly be happy your date went well, you didn't throw your fish at her or say something stupid that you'd still be thinking about. Life happens sometimes I eat fries! OMG! Na really I understand not letting too many things slip through but it's ok oddly once in awhile.

That's awesome! And now that you've been through one date, you'll be able to better navigate making healthier choices next time!

You had a hot date and your worried about breaded fish??? Really? At least you didn't spew at the table or anything.

Thank goodness, I didn't. I have yet to throw up since my surgery and I hope to never experience over eating and getting sick!

Congratulations on getting out there.

Eating out can be tricky. A lot of times I know it need to order foods that are "safe" for me.

It takes practice - but by now - I learned to order off the menu - if there is not much I can choose form, that is "my gut friendly". And since I almost always carry a snack with me (or 2 or 3) if I don't feel like eating when out - I may order a small appetizer - or just a cup of hot tea or coffee (decaf if you still on restrictions) .

Have in mind that as you get skinny - you would become a part of "weird eating group of people"... In my experience- most "skinny people" are very picky what and how much they eat.

Good luck in dating arena. Please don't settle. Make sure the person you would be dating really deserves the special person you are.

Thank you for your kind words and advice! Generally I eat out at places I know have choices for me. Grilled meats, fish, scampi. I only ever ordered breaded fish before surgery, so I think it was an old habit that popped in when I wasn't paying attention!

I do find I have become incredibly picky. My family will say "Just eat, it won't kill you" or sort of sigh and roll their eyes (not in a mean way, I can understand their misunderstandings) when I visit and eat with them and pick my meals apart. I have to tell them that it will kill me. I know that I am easy to backslide into things, there are very few things I can have that won't cause it, the rest I want to keep way away from me.

Thankfully one of my biggest downfalls had been bread, but now the thought of eating bread is sickening after how a small piece made me feel. No bread for me!