What has been the hardest thing to reconcile with your new and old self?

My therapist asked me the last time I saw her if I have difficulty reconciling who I am now as a smaller person with who I was when I weighed 150 pounds more. I told her that I didn't think I was having a lot of problems dealing with my current size. Sure I get surprised when I catch my reflection and think, "holy crap that's me!" but for the most part I've been dealing with the change fairly well. Then last week I had a thought that when I look at the scale and it says 244, I still see it as 344. When I think of numbers I see them on a plane or a timeline in my head with each number having a specific "location" in my brain, so when I see 244 on the scale my brain goes to where 344 is "located" instead of where 244 is. It's a weird disconnect for me and I don't know if anyone else thinks about numbers like I do, but hopefully my brain can adjust itself in the future.

What have you found the hardest to reconcile about yourself?

I have the same issue with the scale... When I'm stepping on I'm thinking it will start with a 2 instead of a 1.

The other thing is sometimes my brain will trip out when I eat something small but feel painfully full -- like hard boiled eggs. I eat one and feel stuffed and I think that is so weird.

Good Morning! For me, it has been clothing. I still think I need larger sizes and gravitate to XL shirts (I have bought/exchanged more than I care to admit!)

I've had to correct my brain several times when I see 140-something... in my brain I am saying 240-something... it cracks me up that I still go to the 200's...

I pull my pants out of the closet and when I'm about to put them on, look at them and think "there's no way one thigh is going to fit in these, much less my whole ass". The clothes that fit now just look so damned tiny, it doesn't seem to be possible that they actually fit me.

There are times I look in the mirror and I still think I look fat. And sometimes I can see the progress. I figure it's an ongoing process to change the image in our heads. :)

Hi! I am also a MN gal!

I'm still in my weight loss stage, and truly it has gone so fast that I don't think my brain understands. I still think I'm big. I still wear my yoga pants, even though they are about to fall off. Shopping is kind of overwhelming because the variance in sizing is huge and there are so many choices. I'm surprised I have a problem with this since it is one of my reasons for WLS!

I was in my car with the windows down (finally summer) and was suddenly struck by the idea that I was clearly shorter that last summer. Which means, I've lost enough butt that I need to adjust my seat. What?!?

It's all happening so fast, or maybe it's that it is actually happening, that I feel the disconnect you describe. It's a little exhilarating and a little disorienting.

You expressed so much what I have been feeling. I hate clothes shopping because it's so overwhelming but I'm desperate need of everything from panties to pants. And I have no idea what flatters my current shape. And I'm still hoping to loose more weight so how much should I invest in new clothes. So that leaves thrift stores, which are even more overwhelming. I shouldn't fret over first world problems, I know. I always thought getting to a small size shopping would be a breeze but not so much. Oh, yeah, the car seat. I need a booster cushion to see out the car (a small SUV). It's all very new to me so I know I'll adjust.

A booster seat! LOL!

I think once everything stabilizes and our brains catch up and get comfortable, it will be easier to shop--maybe even fun. I haven't tried the thrift store because the thought makes me tired. I found a couple of basic items and bought just enough to get me through. Those clothes are starting to get baggy/too big, but they aren't falling off. My hope is to get to my goal and maintenance for a few (maybe 6?) months so I can figure out what my size will be. Then I'm going to gather up my favorite fashion friend and have her help me build a wardrobe.

I've been thinking about this lately. I am no longer the funny, fat person that used to crack everyone up with self deprecating jokes. I mean, I'm still a good time, don't get me wrong ...but I'm definitely a different version of myself. It's hard to explain. I know many others here will say they feel the same inside as they did before WLS. I do not.

oh, you just hit my soul!

I've had to stop myself in the middle of a sentence referring to myself as fat. I never realized how often I said such mean things about myself---making "jokes". Really I was making sure I said out loud what I thought everyone was thinking. That makes me sad now.

I have also noticed people treating me differently too. Only one person has been negative and I can't say for sure it's related to my weight, but it feels like it is. Overall, people talk to me differently and listen differently. I'm not sure how to interpret this yet--still observing and processing. But I hear what you're saying, I am also different in ways other than just the physical.