Blah blah blah, neverending criticism

please do not take this as a snarky remark...in this photo you are both dressed alike. Shrugs over floral print dresses...makes me go hmmmm! There may be a competition issue. Especially, if she inquires about the size of your clothes. It's your mother, you know her better than any of us on a forum. You will know when and if it is time for that special conversation.

best wishes for a peaceful outcome either way it goes! This journey is yours and ALL about you. And, IMO, you are beautiful and a fine example of doing the work.

To continued success

You look beautiful and happy in the photo. Your Mom looks upset. It could just be the photo caught her before she smiled.

My Mom has always been super critical of me. I've lived with constant unending criticism every day of my life.

I don't know what to say. I can tell you that sticking up for myself with my Mom has zero impact on her. She feels no remorse. I even tried telling her how her criticisms make me feel, and she turned around and told me I am stupid; overly sensitive, a grown woman, and should not care what she thinks. So I used that. Now when she criticizes me, I say, "I don't care". Of course I do care. I wish we had a better relationship and I tried hard but she flat out told me she wasn't interested in having a good relationship with me, so I gave up. She's was not supportive of my weight loss surgery until after I had it and started losing weight. Then she was supportive, until I hit 70 Lbs lost, when she told me I've lost enough. I'm down over 86 Lbs now and she keeps telling me I've lost enough, but I'm only just past the half way point. If I get to goal and regain, she'll be thrilled, so I hope to get to goal, and then make a new goal.

Sorry I couldn't help, but you're not alone; unfortunately there are a lot of us with critical Moms.

Take care.

You look gorgeous! Your mom is pretty as well. You have come SO far! Wow, you deserve at least an acknowledgment of your success.
My mother has always been extremely jealous of any success or praise I receive. Took a while to understand and accept that. Also took a while to position myself so that her remarks reflect badly upon her rather than calling attention to me.
What size is that dress, anyway? ;-)

You look amazing and perfectly healthy. I think part of it is our family and everyone else have to get used to the new you... and as you said she walked through a lot with you medically and Moms are always moms and worry...Doesn't mean you shouldn't say anything, but just wait for the right timing... you'll know.

You are gorgeous in that dress.Be proud of what you have accomplished.The issues with your Mom are her problems to work out.

Love the dress and it looks terrific. Sorry you have to deal with those types of comments from your mom, I hope it gets better.

Wow, you look amazing. I don't really have any advice. But, I do have a mother that likes to get her digs in every chance she gets. Hang in there. Just know that I appreciate all your hard work. I am pre-op and you seem to be very successful and therefore you are my hero.

Wow, no wonder you felt pretty in that dress!! You look absolutely stunning!

I'm sorry. I had to stop telling my mom what size clothes I was buying because I could tell she was getting upset? That's not quite the right word. But it was making her a little sad that I'm wearing smaller sizes than she does. Mind you, she's very healthy and fit and looks ROCKING. And she doesn't quite get that jeans from Old Navy are probably different sizing than her jeans. I don't want to do anything that feeds into my mom's self image problems. (We should all look as good as she does at age 74. Sheesh.)

Even though I hope you don't have to have The Conversation with her, I think it might be wise to have your script mentally prepared for when you do (if you don't have it prepared already). Sometimes we do have to set boundaries and it's hard, but it's harder NOT to do it. There's a great advice blogger that I love - Captain Awkward - and she has great advice on making scripts for conversations like this. Lots of ones about dealing with body comments actually. There are definitely kind ways to have that conversation when the time comes.

But I do think that the way you handled it is great and if you stick to that every time it comes up, eventually she'll hopefully get the point that your size is not up for discussion/comment. I stick to a script + subject change for stuff like this and, for some people, it really does make a difference.

Short story - I'm sorry, I feel your pain, it sucks.

Ooh, I'm going to look that blogger up - thanks! I like having boundaries for certain things when necessary and honestly I have to have them for my family for a few things that are hard.

Honestly, the reason I've been able to have some of these things ready to say is because she's made so many comments and you guys have given me a few things to say like this and recommended shutting it down immediately. I find that is so helpful, I used to engage her to try to assuage her fears. But now it's just been too freaking long!