Blah blah blah, neverending criticism

Had a family wedding to go to yesterday. I bought a new dress on sale that I loved, and made me feel very pretty in.

First thing my mom says - in a negative tone - is "What size is that?"

I love my mom. We have a pretty good relationship. We've been through a lot and she has been very, very present in my life in terms of my health because of my cancer dx when I was 25, single, and trying to support myself on not a lot of money.

But because of that she sometimes can feel like she gets a lot of input in my medical stuff. I've put a lot of space between us in that area but damn she can be so judgy!

When she made the comment I shut her down and just said Mom, I'm healthy, I've been maintaining my weight for about 6 months now. My doctors are happy - do you know more than them?? No? Then there is nothing to be concerned about!

I feel like I'm going to be making this post every. single. time. I see her for rest of my life. I don't know what else to say to her to make her back off unless I have a 'come to jesus' conversation with and tell her to stop the comments. I'd really like to avoid that if I could. Argggh.

Does she not like that you are smaller than her now? Sadly I think some moms are super competitive that way. I say have that come to Jesus talk with her- that your weight and your health are not up for discussion. Period. You and your doctors know best.

The comments do stop when people get used to you at a lower weight. Then be sure to fight like hell to maintain your weight loss because you know the comments will be worse if you gain.

Hang in there.

ETA- I want to see a picture of you in the dress

I do wonder about the being smaller than her thing because when we shop together she does make a few comments about it.

I feel like that conversation is coming. I am just trying to avoid, I have to decide if it will make things better or worse between us and I can't decide. I think it would make things better for me and worse for her.

I am terrified of regain (obviously because of health reasons) but because of comments from other people too!

Here's my Mom and I yesterday -

Awe. I do love the dress and you look great- perfectly healthy. Hang in there!!

You look awesome and healthy!

Hopefully, given time, your mom will get used to the new you.

You look beautiful!

You look beautiful in that dress!

Well you know that conversation is coming & its better than not, for your own sanity to confront the issue head on, otherwise it can be awkward for both of you. Re directing the conversation is ok, but it sounds like its something that your mom won't drop so you'll have to be more blunt with her. She has to know that certain conversations are off limits.

So maybe the next time she asks your size, you can tell her she's being rude & your size is not a topic of discussion. If she wants the dress for herself, tell her where you got it. She probably doesn't want the dress, but her trying to put you down with back handed comments shouldn't be tolerated, even from your mom.

You look beautiful

YOU LOOK STUNNING!

I think it takes time and probably you need to let her know how that makes you feel. I would tell her, but not in the moment. She loves you - and you both look fab together. But she shouldn't rain on your parade.

Enjoy your success. You have so earned it!

love the dress!!

mine has made similar comments. I made a comment about buying a size 6 back last year about august and she said very snippy, you don't need to be a size 6 that is too small.

luckily she has not made a peep about it since and now I'm buying 0-4.