What diet advice to give non WLS people?

He brought it up again so I asked him. He's looking to lose another 25 pounds to bring him to 240. Which I think is a good goal for him. I'm glad I have an idea of where he wants to be just so I can encourage him and have an idea of where he wants to be.

I wish I hadn't spent years thinking there was a magic diet. I tried so many dumb fads. Not saying your husband does that, of course.

He is tracking, which I think is terrific. I had no idea how much I ate until I tracked it all.

I do think we all have foods or categories of food that need to be careful of. For some it's carby snack food and others it's sweets. Having that awareness has helped me a lot. I don't care much about chips, for example, but I know I will be far too interested in cake or cookies.

Weighing and tracking. Even if you don't cut back, knowing exactly how much you're eating is an eye opener. And once you see that, cutting back feels more like your own idea, rather than something onerous and imposed.

With surgery I quit drinking with my meals.

If you watch people at restaurants they are drinking so much! Washing that food down. I wonder if with a regular stomach not drinking for 30 or 45 minutes might help?

I noticed a while back (before surgery) that drinking with meals enabled me to eat much more than I would otherwise. That is a good recommendation for everyone, I think.

I have had many people over the last three years talk to me about WL that don't want to have surgery or aren't heavy enough to qualify. The thing I tell them that I think everyone can use is first my surgeon's mantra- "Protein first, then veggies and then IF you have any room fruits then carbs." Never says no carbs but put it at the end of the list. Second is don't drink with meals and for a 1/2 hour after. Helps you to physically feel full...

Real IF with keto or relatively low carb - moderate proteins- moderate fat diet.

My SO eats that. No milk, or yogurt. He gets light breakfast - a snack really. Have regular lunch and good dinner. He often does not eat carbs-starches with meals.

Without an effort he lost 20 lbs and he maintains his weight with not much of a problem. He was not really to big when he started - but now he is "normal". 6' - he went from 36 -37 to comfortable slim cut 34. And he does not exercise.. except some walking - if he feels like it.

He eats pizza once in a week or so, chips, etc. No snacking. He eats 2 meals, one snack. Everything in moderation - even moderation.

Over last 3 years eating like that - his portions got much smaller. He used to eat much more. Now - even when he tries - he can't. He has some soda - but maybe 2-3 servings per day.

We fry things on ghee or butter or coconut oil (at home).

His blood work is perfect. Even better than mine. (With the butter and fat I am feeding him - I wanted to make sure I am not killing him)

I cut portions, dramatically. Cut out wheat. Cut out refined carbs. Had most success with high protein, low carb. But ultimately, NOTHING worked long-term. I could not sustain the necessary calorie deficit for long-term weight loss. Look at us: It takes weeks of below 1,000 calories to lose just 10 pounds. Who can sustain that for long enough to lose 100 or 200 pounds without some help?
I was always able to lose 30 or 60, so thought, hey, I can do this on my own. Until I couldn't and then gained it back. Once I hit menopause, the ability to lose an ounce was gone.
Some people can lose without a tool. Folks like us, we need that tool. But, I recommend high protein and low carb to everyone who asks. Then they say, "NO WAY!"

It's a good question.

In the end, I talk about hormones. Obesity is really a symptom of hormones being out of whack. The main one out of whack being insulin.

The good news, is that this can be fixed to a large degree by diet. What we consume is just as important, if not more so, than the calories we consume. I'm not saying you can eat unlimited buckets of meat, but what I am saying is that if you eat to keep insulin and hormonal balances healthy, the rest will follow.

The other advice, is that behavior is a culprit a majority of the time. Some of us obese peeps just have bad habits, and others have severe eating disorders on the other end of the spectrum. The other good news is that both of these are treatable. Even if someone doesn't want therapy, there are lots of great books that can help, and lots of basic behavior change that works

The main #1 rule is do not take any habit away without replacing it. Charles Duhigg writes about this extensively in The Power of Habit. My therapy rule is this, too. We never stop a habit without adding a new one. Eventually, the compulsions and behavior decreases, because the new habit replaces the old poor behavior.

The last bit of advice is that no one is successful without practice. I had a friend having a severe anxiety episode today and was sobbing, stating I was always so well. Why am I always so well? Honey, I explained, that's seven years of therapy and religious attendance to doctor appointments. I don't put my health to the side for anyone.

Fierce self-love is the last piece of the puzzle, but sometimes that takes time. Really, maintaining good health is the ultimate in fierce self-love.

I usually give them this link: http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/brochures -and-guides/understanding-your-weight-loss-options-brochure it's a great brochure the OAC puts out that talks about all the different types of weight loss options out there (FDA approved, non scam stuff) with the pros and cons, unbiased, facts... the one thing I have learned is there is no one size fit all weight loss method... obesity is like cancer in the sense that it is a chronic complex disease with many causes... you can't treat skin cancer with the same treatment as lung cancer... we have to find what treatment or combo of treatments works for us.