"Former Physical Self" Friday

Look at that hourglass figure!

This is my official pre-op picture and truly one of the only pictures that exist of me morbidly obese.

This is the only picture I can find of me right before my revision.

This is one of the few pictures I found of myself obese and not pregnant.

It's funny. Now I look at these pictures and think I didn't look so bad but I remember during that time how bad I felt about myself.

Now I look at this picture and think how cute I was, overweight or not. I remember that I was around 200 lbs then. I topped out at about 210 with that pregnancy and didn't lose a lot afterwards. I don't know what I expected, that I would lose all the excess weight when I gave birth or something. It took me nearly 2 years to lose the weight, after which I immediately got pregnant again.

That was back in the day when I could actually stick to a diet and lose weight. At the end I could neither stick with any kind of eating plan or lose much weight when I did. Hell, I gained weight even after WLS. I was beyond the ability to lose weight on my own.

You were always beautiful, no matter what

this is a picture of me from Christmas 3 or 4 years ago. I found it on my mom's facebook page. I didn't have it because I actively avoided seeing or being attached to pictures of myself. I just found it recently and was like "score" because it is so hard to find "before" pictures. Funny how I was excited to find a "fat" picture of myself for the first time ever.

am down to a size 8 now...gunning for a six!

Exactly!! I don't mind...too much...finding old pictures, that I didn't even know existed, like the one I posted...Your transformation is awesome

As is yours!

This is me after a 5 k.

love it!

Look at your cute little self!!! And you are not even sweating!!

Gina it was in November and it was cold. It has to be one of the happiest days of my life.

Choosing to have WLS and stop drinking and admitting I am alcoholic has been the best things I have done for me.

Being honest about my addictions has really shown me that life can be easier without alcohol and other substances.

After surgery I felt like I was in control and was on cloud nine. But then old habits creeped back into my life.

It seemed so easy when the weight fell off. I wish I would have utilized my honeymoon faze to it's full potential. Not that I am unhappy with my results. More so wish I would have gotten my bad habits under control. People don't realize that they can come back. We are not fixed after surgery. We are tweaked but not fixed.

Weight gain has happened. I am working one day at a time. One meal at a time. I am a food addict. Which is harder to control than my alcohol addiction.

Learning to love myself and forgive myself has not been easy. I can look at old pictures of myself and not hate what I see. So many have seen pictures and say I didn't know you were that heavy. They saw my heart and not my size.

Sorry I didn't mean to jack this post. But it was how I was feeling this morning.