Helping our teens with weight challenges?

I think the hyper focus can backfire? Depending on what sort of brain you have? Like, for me, I can hyper focus on numbers in a very unhealthy way. It's why I stick to Trendweight for tracking my weight because that lets me pay attention to trends instead of individual data points.

It's hard. I wish there were easy answers :(

My older daughter (age 14) is not technically overweight, but she has gained since she hit puberty. I always have healthy snacks on hand. Grapes, strawberries, etc, and I put them in snack sized baggies in the fridge. Easy to grab and go. I suggest that she make healthier choices, but don't force her to. She usually does not choose the healthy snacks and usually eats junk (yes, we have junk in our house). She does see me making healthy choices so I hope in some way I am influencing her. Maybe someday it will click with her...

Can your son do more swimming? Find a waterproof fitness tracker so he can set goals and work on improving his activity minutes each week.

These are both great practical ideas: the quick-to-grab snacks, portioned. Even if he does not choose these, then at least he sees them, and they are a reminder without parental nagging that leads to control issues.

(We also have junk in the house. My husband is a triathlete, and he likes lots of stuff.)

I also like the idea of a waterproof fitness tracker. Giving him something more to work toward might help him feel like an athlete and help him develop an internal sense of "I make healthy choices." Obviously, change happens over time, and has to come from something inside, so maybe this would help.

Thanks!

I would just remind him to have small goals and just focus on improving his own numbers little by little. If he sets some crazy goal at first he may get discouraged.

My parents nagged my brothers when they were little. Thankfully it did not have long-term negative effects on them and they grew out of their weight issues. I, on the other hand, went the other way (skinny kid to obese adult).

About having junk in the house, we do as well. But it's always put away. Washed, prepared fruit is left out. So are veggies. So when my nephew is home from school, doing homework, there are celery sticks, baby tomatoes, etc. on the table, fruit (berries, a cut up apple, cut up melon) in a bowl. He's hungry! He's 11, so he's hungry all the time!!

To be clear, not all those snacks at once. Lol. Just giving examples. :)

And yes, he gets chips. In a bowl, never out of the bag!

Hi all,

I am going to agree with some of what's been said, and express a different opinion in some other areas.

While I'm not a parent, I've been co-raising my nephew for most of his life, so I'm kind of like a parent. Thankfully, I don't make his food choices because I don't think I would have done a good job.

I come from a home where we had no food rules, and used food as reward/celebration, and as comfort. I was allowed to snack on whatever I wanted, whenever. I was also abused. Food was a comfort. I also had a major childhood illness that had me in the hospital for 4 months and at home for about a year. I remember my dad showing up with M&Ms to "make me happy" while I was in the hospital.

So back to my nephew. Well, first thing: my sister is actually a dietician! And while she is always at the ready with answers to any of my questions, she also never forces information on me, or makes me feel badly for my choices. With her son, she has food rules. Lots of them! And they are all centres around having a healthy relationship with food. My nephew has dessert every night. It's small. I joke that it's dietician portions. But that's why they are all healthy weight, and I struggle.

I agree that for a 17 year old, it's not the time to implement this But for a young child, maybe

My last thing: If you have a teenager and you want to help them, but they won't go to counselling or you don't want to ask them to, I am always a firm believer that you can go seek the help yourself and make the content of the meeting about "how do I support my child with XYZ?"

Sorry this was so long! I can tell how much you all love your children and understand how difficult all these decisions are. They're lucky to have you :)

"I am always a firm believer that you can go seek the help yourself and make the content of the meeting about "how do I support my child with XYZ?""

This is GREAT advice.

And so true about portion sizes. Dessert every night is no big deal if the sizes are appropriate. And that helps to disconnect sweets from reward/comfort/celebration since then they're just a thing that happens and no big deal.

Thanks for all these insights! I loved them all. (And I am the queen of long posts--no apologies!)

Also, this made me reflect on our eating routines in our home. I have always been a stickler for family meal times and routines. However, this year things have changed a lot! My two oldest children are now college aged and away from home. The two younger children are grades 7 and 9 and their extra curricular activities often cross times. Meanwhile, my husband's work has also become very busy. Overall, as a family, we do not have very good meal routines this year. I think I could re-address routine with this son in some way. This gives me something to consider.

It's hard for sure. Just that you're thinking about it is half the battle. Again, I'm no poster child, but my sister is, so I'll live vicariously through her one more time. Lol

She is so disciplined with meals and home cooking she will schedule my nephew's activities to ensure his eating isn't affected. She is a firm believer that eating comes before activity, in overall health. That being said, he does sports 4/5 times a week/weekend - it's just planned not to interfere.

I don't envy you all with kids. I couldn't do it. I admire you for all you have done for them, and are continuing to do.