Eating out is such a pain!

Someone else mentioned the add ons as well, which I never even knew about! I'm sure I had seen them before, but before surgery it was never something to take into real consideration. I feel so much more prepared next time I go there.

really early out it was hard - it was pretty much soup or chili. Once I could start adding foods, shrimp ****tail was always a good choice. At two years out, I still order an appetizer instead of a meal much of the time. If I do get an entree, I get broiled or grilled fish or chicken and veggies. Ethnic restaurants aren't that hard, either - if Chinese, I get something with non-fried meat & veggies, eat about a cup of it, and skip the rice. Mexican? Taco innards work well - or a fajita (again, about a cup of the meat & veggies - skip the rest). It IS hard really early out, but once you get to three months out or so, it's really not. It's rare that I'm in a place that doesn't have at least a couple of things that "work" for me.

I have found that at places like Red Lobster they often have add on items on the menu that can be added onto a regular entrée, like 6 grilled shrimp or a grilled chicken breast for a few dollars. I normally only am ever out to eat with my kids or sister so I will do the add on to their meal for me and ask for a second plate for my six shrimp or whatever. Then I don't have to pay for a full meal (just the add on price) and I still have plenty to eat. I do always try to review the menu ahead of time and plan accordingly. My favorite though is to eat Mexican where I order one chicken or shrimp taco on a corn tortilla. My part of the bill is normally $3 or less.

I didn't know that at all! That is a brilliant idea when going out. Next time if I find myself at Red Lobster with someone I think I'll do that. That would have been soooo much better than getting the full shrimp scampi meal that was barely touched!

I'm lucky to have a local place I go to once a week with my co-workers who know my situation and will adjust my portion and price for me. I now get a $2 taco bar on Tuesday's! (Burger/chicken, shredded cheese, salsa and sour cream is all I eat). They also will do things like "I want the chicken breast you put on your nachos, but nothing else" or "Can you plop the fillings from that sandwich on my plate, I don't need any bread".

I have found that the side menu helps often times too. Our local Mexican place has a side of cilantro marinated shrimp for $4. My husband and I will split fish entrees often. I take 2 ounces and he eats the rest plus the sides. That also will allow me to taste an appetizer sometimes too. We like cheese boards when we do appetizers.

We will be going out this weekend and I plan to choose a steak house and get a 4-6oz steak (knowing I won't eat much of it) or maybe seafood again. I avoid buffets or places where pasta/bread dominate the menu (Italian!). But I did get stuck at a business dinner at an Italian place and I went for the Caprese Salad and ate just the cheese and a bite of tomato. I recently tried hamburger so I would totally do Five Guys without a bun now, hello grilled onions!

But what I've really tried to focus on, is the experience itself. Enjoying someone's company, etc. I'm not going to say I'm perfect and I've felt that "left out, this is no fun" feeling more than once. But, in general I just combat that by not doing it very often. For me this is a food grieving process I need to go through. I need to learn to enjoy food as a limited experience and move on.

I think you are right, I am so used to being able to go out and enjoy meals that it's frustrating now. Though like all the other habits that needed changed, going out to eat big meals all the time is another one that needs to change a bit. I've gotten lots of advice for things to pick when going out! Now I just need to work on not being so shy to ask for what I want.

You will hopefully get used to it, and as you go further out, you'll enjoy it as much as the rest of us do...

To reiterate a bunch of things on here... don't be afraid to...

Order a bunless burger, with no side, but keep the bacon/cheese/fried egg/ etc. I cut mine in half and then have it for lunch the next day

Appetizers are big hits for me... traditional wings, sauce on the side, shrimp ****tail, meat/cheese tray, crab cakes (if done with mostly meat)

The add-ons are available at most restaurants, just ask them (shrimp skewer, 2 ribs, crab legs)

You can substitute veggies almost anywhere, or a salad and eat the good stuff out of it with your main course

Skip the pasta or rice (I order shrimp scampi at an Italian place, and just told them to hold the pasta)

Any grilled entree (Fish, Chicken, Beef), skip the sides, or order something that reheats and the kids like (mac and cheese) and bring it home

I think my favorite piece of advice I got early on was to ask for the to-go box before/with your meal. It really helps you not want to eat too much if you portion out your food first

I live in Los Angeles, and I never have had a problem ordering a side of protein, etc. Maybe it's because so many people here have such weird dietary restrictions, etc. but I never get a second glance from a server. You'd be amazed what you can get if you just ask for it. Oh, and if I'm ordering a piece of fish or chicken breast, I always ask the server to ask the kitchen what the serving size is (particularly at a new restaurant). Restaurants portion by the ounce, for consistency and cost, so they KNOW how much that salmon filet weights. It makes it easier for me to make sure I'm eating the correct amount.

I had never been to uncle maddios and I ordered a flatbread without the flatbread. they laughed at me?? and I got pissed off. then they made it the way I wanted and I told them not everyone can eat bread. like duh!

>> Why oh why can't they cater to my bariatric needs?

Most places will, provided you ask nicely. Ask if you can order from the lunch menu, or if they can make a half-portion. Some (not all) places have reasonable options on the kids' menu, ask if you can order from that. Ask about easy substitutions, like swapping veggies for fries or skipping the bread/bun.

"I'm not super hungry and don't want to waste food, would it be OK if I..."

"I'm on a funky diet and can't eat [whatever], could I please..."

I've found that as long as you're polite and friendly, many restaurant servers are happy to accomodate.