Successful vets

So my weight loss is going along great and I'm starting to think about the maintenance phase. Grant it, I'm not there yet and am not rushing into that stage but I can see I will make my goals. I'm within 5 pounds of my first goal and 15 to my stretch goal!

Anyway im wondering if folks in long term maintenance allow them selves an occasional treat? I mean something like champagne on New Year's Eve, a slice of cake on your bday? I'm thinking nothing more frequent than 1x per month. Now, if you say you never go off plan I'm ok with that. Yeah, l would like to think an occasional treat would be ok but I would much rather keep this weight off than ever have another slice of cake or piece of (vegan) pizza in my life. Just wondering what life is really like for you long time successful vets.

Thanks.

Congratulations on meeting your goals! I am "only" four years out, but I've been maintaining successfully for over 3 years.

I am NOT a fan of the word treats. I am not a dog, so I don't treat myself with food -- I prefer boots and handbags. Occasionally, however, I will SPLURGE on something extra. I can't handle too much sweet, I dump even as a sleever. I plan it, I enjoy it. I move a little more and I eat a little less before or after a splurge.

Life is great. I am thin, I am healthy, I am happy, I am successful. I wish this for EVERYONE.

Ah, you point out the flaw in my thinking. Food is not a treat but sustenance for our bodies. I'm obviously struggling with that concept.

Thanks for your response.

Not a flaw, just a re-direct. I bet most of us have been raised to think food is a treat or a reward. We celebrate holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. with food. We rewarded met goals, sorrows, victories and losses with food. Nights out with friends? Food. Nights in with a movie? Food.

What has food done for us as WLS patients? It's not our friend. In fact, it's our foe unless we treat it as fuel and respect our bodies with HEALTHY fuel. At this point, I'd prefer to treat myself with skinny jeans and an awesome reflection in the mirror.

And YES. I AM A VET in my opinion at 4 years out. I know that thought will ruffle some feathers, but MY opinion of me is much more important than other's opinions of me.

Disclaimer: I am not a vet. I am 3.5 years out with 1.5 years of maintenance thus far.

I often hesitate to answer this, because I know my way is annoying.

I never "cheat" nor have a "treat" -- This is because I have worked extraordinarily hard to change how I see food. I am a food addict in recovery. So, to answer this question, one has to have identified their personal relationship with food and what led them to obesity in the first place. For me, it was my food addiction. I do not use those words lightly or as hyperbole.

My addiction was killing me. That slow death wasn't just affecting me, but also my family. I have an 11-year old son whom I love far more than any favorite food or treat. However, during the height of my addiction, I wasn't acting as such. I came to recognize that I do not have the ability to moderate. If I did, I wouldn't have reached 347 pounds, nor became an insulin dependent diabetic who would actually bolus extra insulin just to eat something I shouldn't have. Most of all, I wouldn't have needed WLS to regain my life.

We all have to eat. I think that is what makes food addiction arguably one of the most difficult addictions to overcome, as witnessed by the very few obese people who lose and maintain that loss for any significant period of time without the aid of WLS. Consider that even with WLS, the great majority have "bounce back" or considerable re-gain.

However, I also think that the argument that we need food and cannot abstain like a heroin, nicotine, gambling, etc addict can is partly justification. Yes, we need food to survive. However, we do not need cupcakes, breads, oatmeal, chips, crackers, potatoes, candy, popcorn, cookies, stuffing, etc. Usually, when one talks about "just a taste" or "having just a little" -- they aren't talking about celery sticks or chicken breast. Those are wants and not needs. The body absolutely does not have a sugar requirement. Food addicts rarely crave or feel obsessed normally about actual needed food.

For most food addicts -- those things (sugars/carbs) are the drug of choice. One can (and I do) absolutely abstain. I would guess that each person suffering from a compulsion to eat would have to learn and figure out what their triggers are individually -- and this work is very hard to do. It requires complete and total honesty. That is something that addiction likes to squash.

For me, whenever I feel tempted, I replace the word food for heroin -- and then I imagine that I am a recovering heroin addict rather than a food addict. So I see something like cake or pizza, and I say in my head:

"You're not obese -- you're slim now, a piece of cake once in a while won't hurt anything. You deserve it! -- It's your [birthday, anniversary, mother's funeral, office party, christmas eve, Friday night alone, etc]!!

Then I change it to:

"You're not a heroin addict anymore, you can shoot up once in a while. It won't hurt anything! -- you deserve it! It's your [birthday, anniversary, mother's funeral, office party, christmas eve, Friday night alone, etc]!!

It sounds so utterly ridiculous, that it puts it into perspective for me as a food addict in recovery.

There can be a multitude of reasons why someone ends up obese -- but for me, food is my drug of choice. There are definitely some foods for me that trigger a feeling of being out of control. I was DX'd with binge eating disorder during pre-op, and I have learned to cope and manage those compulsions. I have never felt out of control eating meat, for example. Even a small amount of some foods make dealing with the feelings so much more difficult. Once I am in that zone, the obsession and justification becomes harder and harder to manage.

I wish I were a person who could moderate, but I am not. -- God bless those who can.

Not annoying at all. I want to hear people's real life experiences. If I didn't I would not have asked the question. Thanks for your honest reply.

Later this week I will be 15 years post RNY. It has not been a smooth journey, but I finally got my crap together, and have been at, and even UNDER, goal for the past 6 years...

Yes, I do "celebrate" life events, and, yes, food and drinks are usually involved, but they are never the main focus anymore, and they are always in moderation, and part of my daily/weekly meal plan totals. I don't look at food like I used to, and it doesn't rule me anymore.

I honestly don't even HAVE to think about it that much, anymore, and it is such a relief!!

10 years plus out...To the point. Simple carbs are very ADDICTING!! They need to be avoided as much as possible. They raise your blood sugar level and drop it very quickly. So when you choose 3-4 oz of Pepsi VS 1/2 an apple...Your blood sugar level spikes...VS the apple that keeps your sugar level even for a longer period of time...As your system breaks down the apple. Going down the road of simple carbs is a very slippery slope. You start to justify your actions...A reward!! You gain 5 pounds back and justify it...Well everybody does it!! Yeah, right, sure...Before you know it you've gained 30-40 pounds and wonder what happened??

I've gone to the local support group for over 11 years now. I don't make it there much anymore...I can find the info online. But starting out (over 10 years ago) you just had dial up internet...Obesity Help and the local support group was my lifeline.

Just saying, the last time I went to the local support group...Just what I saw and heard. Those who were years out and at or close to normal weight did 3 things; limited their simple carbs use, ate mostly protein and complex carbs, and did some form of exercise (even walking or gardening). Everyone of them did it.

I and a few others are the exceptions. I'll explain (I still have my demons with food). I will eat the bad stuff...But really limit it. I won't usually eat anything with high fructose corn syrup. I also eat right most of the time. The last thing is I exercise/work more than about 90% of most WLS people do...So I can get away with it. I ride my bike (run errands), mow lawns (acres...By push gas mower), (pruning, thinning, picking) fruit trees and grapevines. My exercise is my penance for the bad food choices I eat; dark chocolate, tortilla chips, cake, hot dogs. If I didn't do the exercise, I would have to cut way way back on the bad (simple) carbs. Brian

I do eat some simple carbs. To gain weight.

I gain weight every time I start eating that way. Biggest problem is that when I start - I HAVE I really hard time to stop. That sucks.

I am 8.5 years out and yes, I do indulge from time to time. I'd guess around once a month my family has a big get together for holidays or birthdays. I eat and drink whatever I want. I eat a ton and probably gain 2-3 pounds on the scale but I get back on track the next day and the extra weight is gone in a week (Easter Sunday was our most recent family get-together). I don't stress about it or beat myself up. That is what I used to do and then I would spiral out of control. Not anymore.

This works for me, but we are all different.