Ladies-Do you feel less safe?

Actually... the opposite... I felt like my lack of ability to run or slower pace made me a target. One of the reasons I had weight loss surgery was to be able to fend for myself if I needed to (9/11 was a big come to Jesus moment for me)

That's great! I'm hoping to get to that point emotionally. You're so right, if anyone was running after me I would have collapsed in minutes. My struggle is that back than I felt like I had this force field around my body. I was too heavy to push or pull or carry. Now it just seems if someone wanted to, they could sneak up on my and toss me over their shoulder easy enough.

I agree with those that have said maybe looking into a class on self defense... it will at least ease your mind a bit... remember Miss. Congeniality... SING Solar-Plexus Instep Nose Groin ;)

RoseAndRiver it does not have to do with weight. Some people are more aggressive than others. From the time I was a child men have displayed less than proper behavior from giving my Mom money to being offered a marriage proposal with a ring from a guy I barely knew (it probably wasn't real). I have always taken precautions when it comes to my safety. I do not venture into tough neighborhoods by foot or car and even keep my car doors locked when traveling. Even here in my 'safe' gated community I don't feel 100% safe. It's the times we are living in. I do not wear tight clothing or high skirts or busty tops although this may be the style for some, it's not my personal taste. I have had enough stares cat calls being followed to last a lifetime. I'm always cautious. I know what's out there, I counseled small survivors and adult survivors. It is mind boggling and horrific the things adults are capable of doing to small children, grandmothers, babies. I liken inappropriate sexual behavior to wanting to marry a door it should never even come to mind!

So I have been exposed to this, I know what to look for and have my intuitive senses open to any situation that may pose a problem. So when my EP cardiologist started feeling me up I was extremely confused and shocked. When he guided my head to his groin on the pretense of listening to my breathing I really couldn't move. Or when he was pressing into my left breast on the pretense of taking my bp even though the intake nurse had already done so I was frozen or when he pressed himself between my legs as I sat on the examining table you don't know what to do. Or worst when you wake from anesthesia only to find your vagina is very wet you panic and try to flee.

I'm still fat and realize it's not about being fat or thin. You are correct some men especially many Indian men treat women poorly and as objects. Some guys are just predators some are heathens and cavemen who can't seem to help themselves for a variety of reasons. Hopefully it will end sooner rather than later!

You Kat W. are a braveheart! I wish you well and much peace! LynnAlex you are an adventurous very brave one! I love all the Hags but Oh my You Haggy McHagerson YOU are the best named hag!

Yes. I do have more thoughts about how I may be more appealing as a target now than at almost 300lbs. I am more wary now if I'm alone in what feels like a shadier situation. While I am fully aware that sexual violence is more about the violence than the sex, I do sometimes wonder if I'm a more desirable target now that I'm a more normal size.

I feel both ways. With all the attention I am now receiving I feel like it's a possibility I could be more of a target. But I am stronger now and I think I could handle the situation better and defend myself more now than before. While heavy, I was attacked at a gas station. Not violently but by a man who started out with a friendly chat. He told me over and over how beautiful I was. After telling him I was married he started asking questions like if I wasn't married would I have given him a chance. It was too much from a stranger! I started ignoring him but he wouldn't let up. I went to get into my car and when I turned around he was directly behind me saying wanted a "hug" and grabbed me and wouldn't let go. My first instinct was that he was trying to distract me while someone else took my purse out of my car. When I shoved him back and saw that nobody else was around I knew I was just dealing with an individual lunatic. Being MO I wouldn't have been able to run if I needed to. The very next day I got my CHL.

It's not a feeling, I know I am less safe by how strange men treat me...lets just say men are far more friendly and familiar...and I'm 64 and still over 200 pounds.

When i was younger and had lower self esteem, i would also put myself in risky situations. However having been born and raised in Detroit, not too much frightens me. Now though, i take precautions; make sure im not alone at night bring a knife, etc.

I take precautions. The risky situations that I put myself in are part of my job. I work in high crime areas and with people that are often emotionally volatile. Though most of my clients are good and beautiful people, the city that I've dedicated my life to is rough. Never walking alone at night, and being well prepared with a knife is a great idea.

Be careful in thinking that carrying a knife will make you safe. It's just as likely the perp will take the knife & use it on you. Some will maybe run away if you show them a knife, but be prepared to use it.

I'm also on my own, walk alone at night, bike at night, live in a "dangerous city", but I don't carry a weapon, which is fine by me. Street smarts have helped, but really anyone who wants to hurt me, will also get a little hurt in return.