Ladies-Do you feel less safe?

I rarely fear for my personal safety, fat or thin. I think having lived alone my entire adult life has given me a sense of being able to take care of myself, because who else is going to do it? It doesn't hurt that my city has been deemed the safest in the US by the FBI for 8 years running. I regularly walk my neighborhood with my dog after dark with no qualms. I sometimes wonder if being 6' tall also leads to me not feeling very vulnerable.

Edit, reading Kat's reply makes me think that maybe never having something bad like that happen to me also leads to a mythical sense of safety.

I sort of know what you mean - personally I had my first vulnerable experience just the other day. I rough house with my teenage son sometimes and he's about 8 inches taller and now we're close to the same weight (in the 150's). I can't remember ever being picked up (physically) by anyone. While rough housing and teasing each other my son unexpectedly picked me up and carried me into the other room! I couldn't believe how vulnerable I felt and uncomfortable. I am used to being in control of my physical body and could easily prevent this before at 280 lbs. It was a odd feeling and brought me to a reality that I hadn't realized. My brain is still catching up since I'm 10 months out and down over 120 lbs and my brain still thinks I'm 280.

Thanks for posting this and hopefully you feel safe in your new body soon.

I think there are two separate concerns. The first is increased attention. That bothered me a lot because I was used to being invisible, or as invisible as a 300+ pound woman could be, and the attention from everyone caused me a lot of anxiety. Suddenly salespeople could see me and I had to speak. What I said had value when it didn't before. It took a long while for that anxiety to go away.

The second issue, physical safety, is something I am aware of. I don't feel unsafe, particularly, but I try to be cautious. I know anything could happen despite my precautions.

From what I have observed from the women who have had this surgery there is a very real period when there is resentment at the new attention they receive when they lose weight. Part of it is "why didn't you like me when I was fat." Part of it is a lack of skills in how to handle the attention. I think your fear fits into this. The good news is this seems to go away in a little while as you settle into a new normal.

There are two responses to fear: withdrawal and proactive measures. To prevent withdrawl, you can learn to defend yourself. My girlfriend found a great class taught by female Marine (and that Marine is a serious bad ass) for female self-defense. Not only is it good exercise, but has greatly increased her situational awareness. And yes she was raped many years ago. She also has her concealed carry permit. There are always going to be dangerous people in the world, so her motto is to be aware and be prepared.

I don't think trying to classify all men as rapists is helpful. Statistically, it is a very small percentage of the population who would ever commit a violent act against another. Strangely the statistics show that women are just as likely to commit violent acts as men.http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-are-more-violent-says-study-622388.html. And please don't think that men don't understand the issue, we do. If you include prisoners, men are more likely to be victims of sex crimes than women: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/04/male_ rape_in_america_a_new_study_reveals_that_men_are_sexually_as saulted.html.

I don't think all men are rapists, I think most men are good and upstanding. However, as I lose weight I realize I'm easier to pick up, push, drag etc. The fact is that even if 99%of men are wonderful, 1% is still not. And I'm now aware that I'm an easier target.

That you so much for mansplaining my experience to me.

For a moment, I thought I was reading something copied and pasted from The Onion. But I fear you were being serious with this.

No to all of this.

1. There is no resentment about 'Why didn't you like me when I was fat?' I liked being invisible. It was peaceful.
2. I have never had a need for a self defense class. My dad taught me to box when I was young, and my older cousins liked to fight dirty.
3. No one here classified or even hinted all men are rapists.
4. Men in prison are raped, and that is terrible. It is also a separate issue and not pertinent to this post.

One huge problem with this: you are not a woman and therefore have NO CLUE how women actually feel about ANYthing..let alone our feelings about our pre-surgery bodies vs our post surgery bodies.

Yep, I'm not. But I am an interested observer and I have noticed a similar lament by women post surgery over the last three years.