When Do You Know Its Finally What the Problem is?
I was diagnosed with OCD about six months ago. It was NOT caused by my WLS and not related to my surgery in any way; I've had it all my life (thanks, brain) and it's caused issues at various times, but this is the first time a doctor put a label on those thoughts/behaviors.
WLS is not to blame for every health issue in life.
Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!
Did you start on any new mediction 3 years post op ? Maybe Wellbutrin or anything like that ? Sometimes they can cause things like compulsive behavior like shopping . Just a thought .
Banded 6/9/09 HW 242 LW 142 Revision 198 m 1 loss 16 lbs 182. M 2 loss 4 lbs 178. M3 loss 6 lbs 174.m4 loss 4 lbs 168. M5 gain 2 lbs 170. M6 loss 7 lbs 163 M7 loss 5 lbs 159 M8 loss 1 lb 158 M9 loss 0 M10 155 loss 3 M11 154 loss 1 M12 loss 2 152 M13 loss 3 149 M16, 17 0 loss M 18 loss 4 lbs 145 (18 months 53 lbs)
We often replace one addiction for another. Shopping can give people a high and that can be what you are seeking. But that can be dealt with with counseling and you need to find one before you hurt your finances.
The bigger concern for me is the abuse that you are sustaining. Get support, get a plan, tell NO ONE, and get out of the relationship if needed. One bruise is one bruise too many.
Your friend may think that it's obvious that the relationship is bad for you, but why are you asking her?
Sharon 
