When Do You Know Its Finally What the Problem is?

Seems I am obsessed with almost everything nowadays. Worst part of it is that I cant figure if its from post Weight Loss Surgery new behavior or menopause , No I don't wash my hard over and over , I know I don't have OCD... im near 60...im very bothered by this new behavior of mine...I know I am 90% unhappy in my relationship of 7 yrs with bf. I am verbally and physically abused. When I shop I don't stop at 1..its gotta be at least 7 of the same Item...Examples: shoes, belts, sunglasses ( near 20 already) , reading glasses (near 20 already) ,purse's (15 now), laundry detergent,clocks,computers, vehicles,cameras,yarn,cat furniture,cell phones,the list goes on, just some examples...I don't have room in my home. I hear about hoarders. I can still walk thru my home..I noticed a change in my behavior before I met bf, so its very close. Well maybe it is post wls related and being unhappy escalated it?..Nobody is happy 100% in life.. Let me hear some Post Op stories, I am 10 yrs post op now..This started about 3 years post op. I live alone. How to stop, I want to stop but very hard..I am not using my positive self talk very well these days like I use to ..That positive self talk is what kept me maintaining my 100 weight loss for 9 yrs. I have regained 20 lbs.and finally just started to get a grip of working on taking it back off...Thanks for reading my post op blues. Wendy

Correction, that was suppose to say "I don't wash my hands over and over"

Please seek help. Since you're being abused, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They also have an online chat option if your bf doesn't monitor your computer use.

Once you are safe, you can seek professional help for the shopping issues and weight regain, but you need to find a way to be physically and mentally safe first.

hugs and good luck!

Sounds exactly like OCD to me.

Well IT's NOT OCD

It does sound as if you need help, and I do urge you to seek professional help - a counselor or therapist ASAP.

Compulsive shopping is similar to compulsive eating/binging. Since you feel VERY bad, instead of one thing being okay, you think 2 or 5 or 20 is going to be the amount that finally makes you feel better. You get a bump of satisfaction and happiness when shopping and acquiring things, but they don't fix the problem, so you go back and buy more things. But it never helps, because things aren't going to fix what is wrong. And there is no shame in getting a professional to help you figure this stuff out.

One of the things they told our group to watch out for was transferring our need to overeat/binge/self-medicate with food to other addictions: shopping, sex, drinking, drugs... if you had issues with food before, that means you're always succeptable to developing those tendencies towards other methods of self-soothing if you aren't careful.

I am so sorry you're in a bad relationship and hope you can get help and find the strength to leave it. Everyone deserves to be treated well and be happy.

Thanks for the Advice, I have been seeing a therapist all thru this for 15 years , she knows about the Abuse..I would like to hear other peoples post op stories of the same issues.

If the therapist knows about the ongoing abuse, but has not helped you to get out of the relationship, it's time to find a new therapist.

You should probably consider finding a new therapist.

Wendy. If you are being physically abused get out of that relationship immediately. Get a restraining order and get the hell out.

The other issues may or may not resolve after you are safely rid of the asshole you're dating. But there is zero chance you will resolve them until the abusive situation is ended. Zero.

There is a good chance your compulsions are reactions to what your body and mind see as an actual threat to your continued existence.

Please get help and if you can't do that then at least get that person out of your life. Things will start to make sense when the immediate threat is resolved.

Would you please keep us posted or consider sending me a PM? NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED. It is NOT OK. You are worth more than that. Get out of there.