What Would You have Named Yourself...?

There is little argument that massive weight loss often changes how we see ourselves. Many of us take on new clothing trends, new hair colors/styles, or start new hobbies. Some people find that they are more gregarious or social -- others find that they are more outspoken. Some of us, seemingly change very little other than our size.

That said, as a linguist, I have a fascination with words, names, and titles. I've always thought that given names were particularly interesting because they are so intimately part of our identity, yet with rare exception, completely out of our control since they are chosen for us near birth. There is usually a deep connection between our name and our parents' desires and expectations for us, and the identity we carve out from that.

If one doubts the power of names, one only has to consider that very few of us would choose to name our son Adolph or Dick. Most of us have a list of names that we would "never name my kid because I knew a XXXX once and she was awful!"

So, all that in mind, if you had to name yourself, and you could not chose your current given name, what would you name yourself. Why?

Such an interesting question....I feel like I have 2 names as it is- Cynthia and Cyndy. I come from a family of siblings with "Y" nicknames- Jimmy, Jody, Timmy, Jeffrey, Cyndy... I stood my ground in about 4th grade and insisted everyone spell it C-y-n-d-y rather than C-i-n-d-y.... I said it made no sense, as Cynthia starts with C-y. As an Adult with work and things, I became more comfortable introducing myself as Cynthia- and rarely introduce myself as Cyndy...it is a family/friend name. I like Cynthia though....answer to both :)

As far as another name, I immediately thought of my 2 grandmothers- One was Marie and the other Naomi.

Looking up the meanings, finding that Naomi while being an old-fashioned name in this culture, is also used in Japanese and Hindu cultures. Same meaning in all - Pleasantness and Beautiful.

So I think Naomi is a good name, I could be proud to have ....

OMG, I could definitely see you as a Naomi. Usually I have a hard time picturing someone other than their given-name -- but having met you in person and getting to know you -- I could definitely see that name. I have a special love for the name Naomi.

Trigger warning: for those who are affected by stories of domestic/child abuse

I had a student in one of my classes in the university that especially touched my heart, who had that name. She had been accepted provisionally because her grades were very poor from high school. She'd been one of six children with a drug addicted and mentally ill mother -- and thus, as the oldest, had been parentified and basically raised her other siblings as they were all in and out of the foster care system. She was as big as a minute, tiny and painfully thin -- but her physical appearance belied the strength and tenacity of this little tiger of a woman.

Often, some of my students in this particular class that I teach, come from some pretty rough backgrounds -- and she was no exception. Her life story read like a Toni Morrison novel, only more depressing in its reality ... but this young woman was amazing. She wrote prose that literally brought goosebumps to my arms. More, she had critical thinking skills far beyond her 18-years on this planet. At the end of the term, I arranged for her to work in one of the dean's offices, she was getting some of her poetry published in the student journal, and we'd arranged daycare for her little boy on campus -- so she could attend full-time. She'd passed all her classes and was finally being accepted fully into her BS-RN program. Sure, I thought she had so much talent that I hated for her to go into nursing, but she was practical and determined to carve out a better and more stable life for her son.

Her life was really headed in the right direction. She was the picture of someone rising out of the ashes -- a phoenix, to be sure.

Then, on the day I submitted her "A" for her final grade, I got an frantic email from the secretary in my department. Soon, other students were messaging me -- and I couldn't pretend that it possibly wasn't true. She had been beaten to death the night before But, in true Naomi fashion, she had saved her son's life by locking him with her keys in the car, while fending off her attacker. She was killed by her biological mother's boyfriend/pimp. Of course, the newspapers didn't capture anything about this remarkable young woman, except the tragic "facts" of the end of her existence.

I have kept her written work and poetry in a small box tied with a ribbon -- hopefully to give to her son one day when he is old enough to appreciate it. She was such a strong young woman, and I hope one day he can appreciate a bit of who she was.

I will always think of her when I hear that name. Strong, beautiful and full of intelligence.

That's such a heartbreaking story. I'll remember Naomi whenever I'm feeling like I'm not getting a fair shake in life; puts things in perspective for sure.

I can feel your fondness and admiration for her radiating through your words. She sounds like a very special person. I'm so very sorry her life was cut short.

Oh my god....

So sad her life was cut short & was so young with all that potential.

I think Naomi's son will very much appreciate and treasure the writings you've saved along with your recollections and stories of your conversations with her. If no one in the family has some of her work, your contribution will provide him with something he otherwise may not even be told of.

"...Of course, the newspapers didn't capture anything about this remarkable young woman, except the tragic 'facts' of the end of her existence." -- One of the papers might have accepted an Op Ed piece filling in the truth of Naomi.

Wow, a both beautiful and tragic story. I hope you do get to give the poetry and prose to her son, it is her legacy. You are so passionate Kat for your students, they are lucky to have you.

I used to do intake interviews with people suffering from serious mental illness as part of my job, it was heartbreaking to listen to many of their stories. People judge too quickly, many of them were very strong people who had done what they could to survive.

Thank you for sharing with us

I hope you are able to give that ribbon-wrapped box to her son one day. What a treasure it will be to him.