What is your coping mechanism now?

I'm pretty sure that this topic has been covered in the past, but I haven't seen a thread recently. Before WLS, I never really had to feel my feelings. I just ate food instead of actually dealing with things. Now after surgery I'm noticing that I am much more emotional-- maybe even more in-tune with them. I'm actually having to deal with things (I've always known that if given a "fight or flight" type of situation, I'm all flight). I've been using exercise, or actually telling people when they've hurt or offended me, or vacation planning to cope with feelings instead of practicing avoidance behaviors. However, I'm wondering how other people deal with things. Before surgery I was most definitely that fake-smiley girl-- the one who was "always so happy and positive" so that I didn't have to actually feel those negative emotions. I just pushed them down and avoided them.

What are your coping mechanisms now? How do you deal with uncomfortable situations and emotions?

Hi:

Last September, when I decided to begin this journey, I decided that I was taking/making time for ME. I had always been the "happy" one and the "turn the other cheek" type of person. Now, I do what is best for me. I feel my emotions and deal with them.If someone doesn't contribute to my happiness or care about my well being - they are gone. I have decided not to do one way streets anymore. I will not continue to call someone who doesn't call me back. I will not make plans with someone who has hurt or insulted me in the past. I will not send a birthday card to someone who doesn't reciprocate or even acknowledge my own birthday (I don't plan on talking to my own brother any time soon. The world does not revolve around him or his family anymore.)

In other words, this surgery has given me the power to travel down my own path and examine my own feelings. What or who do I want in my life? What makes ME happy? Who brings positive energy and encouragement into my life? Why should I put up with someone that doesn't make ME feel good about myself?

Basically, I walk away when I feel it's the right thing to do and I speak up if I feel something is unjust. And, there are times now when I just delete the person from my life because they will just never change.

-Jan

Yoga, meditation , Exercises, hot bath, venting to my partner, cooking, baking, shopping, massages..

I used to drink wine but I hate getting drunk or hangover the next day... so I gave that up.

In worse case - I eat. Things like meats, eggs... I really can't eat a lot of chicken.

Sometimes I indulge in nuts. If I am below my goal. Or a very dark chocolate (85-90%).

Everything Hala said. You need to try a lot of different things. And for me, it's also about learning that it's ok to feel your feelings. Which sounds trite, but it's true. anger, frustration, etc. Once acknowledged, Can be channeled into something positive, it's what propels change.

Yes! I was so totally the grrl who supported everyone else and forgot about herself ( in order to forget her own issues and emotional pain? )

My new ways of coping - gardening. Being in touch with the rhythms and amazing beauty of the cycles of the earth and the garden and farm make me literally forget my ( pretty much bs ) issues . I mean they're not bs ... but weeding Right Now while it's really easy not hard is much more important as is listening to the birds sing watching the kittens play delighting in the city's first blooming daffodils.... I usually get out there at first light ( the kittens are jumping all over me and banging down the door ) and enjoy at least a half hour of contenplation and appreciation with my tea. I just recently realized I don't have to work !

Other forms of relaxation- jacuzzi bubble bath , a nature hike

Using a "coping mechanism" to me just seems to be suppressing the actual pain. Accept the pain and go on living your life... no need to drive yourself into distraction.

I'm definitely not a "fake smile" person. If I'm not happy I'm not going to hide it, and if someone is dumb enough to ask me "what's wrong?", I'm going to be honest about it. Life's a lot easier when you stop lying to yourself (and others) and simply call people out on their BS. You may frighten off people who want the "always smiling" you, but the ones who stay are the people who like you for who you actually are.

Therapy.

Actually dealing with situations and emotions instead of avoiding them with food.

I wasn't very avoidant pre-op, but I'm less inclined to put up with things now.