Depression

Not hokey at all.

This is a great and really helpful response. Good on you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Just a few suggestions- watch " addiction " on HBO it discusses interesting effective new treatments for overeating drinking and anxiety and depression ( which may all be related! )

i personally tried topamax ( a low dosage anti anxiety and anti overeating drug) and time release Wellbutrin which I used to take for asthma and to excercise but which is technically a short acting non weight gainer antidepressant.

Theyre prescribing much larger doses of Wellbutrin now in time release form ( SR) as a " real " antidepressant... which it might not work for it's kind of mild in effect ..

best wishes

I have found that medication and talk therapy are the most effective combination for me. As to medication, a psychiatrist is much more knowledgeable to prescribe. There are many meds out there, and sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right one or ones. It's time consuming, but it's worth it to feel better.

Talk therapy is helpful to untangle patterns of negative behavior and get to root causes of why we do what we do. It's good to feel better, but it's better to know why we do the things we do and learn coping strategies and new, more positive behaviors.

You've had a lot going on the past few years. Best of luck to you.

Appreciate all the responses. To address a few things that were brought up....

1.) I have tried a psychiatrist. It has been awhile and it was right after my divorce and that is basically what we talked about. I felt like it helped, but only to a small degree. She did tell me that I would not really be helped until I was able to stop substance abuse. So maybe it is worth another shot?

2.) I work for a Municipality. So while I do maintain a GP, I also used a doctor that is employed through the City. My GP was the one who originally put me on paxil years ago. I did not like it and quit taking it. Recently after my latest health assessment with the City, the doctor for the City suggested I take it again. I objected vehemently, but she assured me it would be a low dosage. I did explain to her that my GP had given me the same dosage approximately two years earlier, but she persisted. That is when I tried it the last time and had the negative results again. I have since spoken with my GP about it, and she has said she is more than open to prescribing me something else, but I have been apprehensive due my aforementioned results from taking paxil. I realize that not all medications are the same, but the bad experience with paxil has kept me nervous to try something new.

3.) As far as the substance abuse. Yes I have tried AA. I do still go. I went to a meeting this morning, although it is not a formal meeting.. it's some guys and girls that met there and we have our own meeting twice a week before work at a local coffee shop. That meeting helps me a lot. I too have found it tough to reconcile my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) with the steps. The organized meetings I do not often go to. There are a lot of reasons for this. I live in a very small southern town and my beliefs generally do not fall in line with most there. This often causes me to be very uncomfortable with a group of people who generally are all like-minded. I often find the only thing we have in common is the addiction issue. Don't get me wrong, that is a big thing, but still it makes it difficult for me to feel at ease. There are other reasons I don't like much going but that is for another time and another place.

4.) I do agree that exercise seems to exercise (pun intended) my demons. I have, just over the last two weeks, finally gotten back into exercising. I dread it when it is time, and I hate every minute I am doing it, but it definitely has a positive effect on my mood and general feeling. Now if they could just make playing videos and trolling D List celebrities on twitter have the same effect, I'd be golden.

I do greatly appreciate all the feedback and I will take a lot of these suggestions to heart.

Also, 3Bassethounds congratulations on your upcoming sobriety birthday... that's awesome.

I should clarify. It was a psychologist/therapist. She could not prescribe meds. I license businesses for a living so I knew the difference just used the wrong terminology. My apologies. Regardless (or irregardless, those two always confuse me) of my openness on message boards, I am pretty much the exact opposite in person. I grew up with three sisters and all are very protective of me, but they often yell and get frustrated because I "don't share feelings." I think that is part of the reason it was not super successful when I saw the psychologist, substance abuse aside.

I do feel the small group helps me but I will definitely check out some of the options you have mentioned. I may feel more comfortable there. I do feel better without alcohol (obviously). When you're in the trenches of alcoholism everything is seen in such a narrow prism. I would often think to myself "Man, I just gotta do this one thing. If I can do that. I can make it another day." Regardless of how menial the task was. Now I can see more clearly and I think to myself "If I can do A, then B will be available, or maybe I can choose C.." so forth and so on. Stopping the drinking and getting the exercise is the first step for me and I already feel much better, but I have been in a dark place and I want to avoid going back. Because I think if I get there again, I won't come out.

Sometimes people say things to you, good or bad, and they stick with you. I went to treatment awhile back. I remember the day when I decided I had to go. I had gotten to where when I woke up in the morning I just shook uncontrollably. I couldn't hardly make my breakfast because I was shaking so bad. I called my mom over and told her. She relayed to me and I will never forget it... "Have you ever noticed, that when I call you and you don't answer, you immediately have calls from all your sisters? I do that because when you don't answer, I think you're dead." The hurt I saw in her face and how bad it made me feel, makes me never want to go to that place again.

Thanks again for all the responses and suggestions. I am sure it will be a big help going forward.

Therapy works when it needs to.

Sometimes it's social support. Other times it's brainstorming, networking, or idea-bouncing-off-of. Other times it's sheer presence - someone listening while I bitterly wept, realizing the vast amount of time I wasted to sad and sick relationships, realizing I gave up so much for nothing, and then getting over myself ASAP.

I tried many therapists until I found the one that was appropriately compassionate while appropriately kicking my ass. Mine got me to the point where I could get divorced, ditch the horrible co-dependent, abusive, and loveless marriage of 12 years, and came to terms with my own lack of religion.

Despite being female, I am quite stoic, actually. Ironic now given my current profession. At any rate, I threw myself into therapy despite loathing it, being awkward, and hating it. Paradoxically, getting over that was curative in and of itself. The therapist who helped me was actually not a psychologist, but a masters-level clinician. I was pleasantly surprised, and he, literally, saved my life. Throw yourself into it if you can find someone you trust. I would not trade my years of therapy for anything.

I understand the struggle with finding care in a small southern town, and sympathize - it is no small feat. I see providers often in the hospital system where good friends and acquaintances work (I am a therapist). While it isn't the same, I get it. Thing is, doctors and therapists need doctors and therapists, too.

I tried 12 step programs and hated them, myself (mine were OA and FA). In the end, I stuck with regular therapy. Most states, it's confidential by law, as I am sure you know, and I used it as counseling and the platform to rebuild my life.

Finally, congratulations on your journey. You have traveled quite far already. Remember that you already are the expert on your own life - you sound as if you have your own insight - and do not doubt that the self-care you invested, and continue to invest, will continue to be repaid with interest.

I'm sorry for your losses. That is a lot of grief to deal with. Depression after WLS is serious, I'm glad you posted.

My husband had RNY in 2004 and he committed suicide in 2005. His mental health steadily declined over that year. We tried numerous medications but by the time we realized how far gone he was, it was too late.

The first thing I'd suggest is to see a psychiatrist, (one who can prescribe meds). There are so many meds these days, if you didn't like Paxil or its side effects, tell the doc you want to try something else. I liked Wellbutrin, I took it after his death for PTSD for a few years. My teens do well on Lexapro. Counseling will help too. I've found that while psychiatrists are good with meds, it also helps to have a psychologist or therapist -- find one who specializes in grief counseling. Keep in touch ok?