Staying positive

Staying positive is not an easy thing for me to do. I try daily.

When I am feeling down and I need a boost.I come here to read. Just knowing someone else is feeling like me. Like being a misfit. And not feeling like a weirdo.

I also make lists of things positive in my life that I have done. Just little things can be life changers. Being able to go up the stairs. Able to walk five miles and not die.

I have a food addiction and I am an alcoholic. Having WLS has changed my life for the better. It also has made me realize a lot of things about myself.

If I didn't have the surgery I don't think I would have ever looked at my alcoholism. I know some may find this weird. I covered my pain up with booze and food.

Has it been easy. Not always. I have a lot of support here. I have support from my family and some of my friends but they have know idea what it is like to MO.

I never realized I hated myself. To look in the mirror I couldn't. There wasn't one in the house. I would use the front window of my house to see if I looked okay.

I see pictures of myself when I was MO and being drunk everyone was like you look so happy. Well I wasn't inside.

I decided to have WLS four years ago this June. I was depressed and very anxious in life. I had high blood pressure. I till have high BP. Still suffer from depression and anxiety. It is better. Still there but better.

The third year has been the hardest. Not horrible. Just changing myself. Learning to grow up I think is part of it.

A lot of my feelings are lead by fear. Fear can make us do stupid things. It can really stop us from living. It can paralyze us. There were days when I didn't want to leave my bedroom. I just couldn't deal with what was behind that door. If I couldn't see it. It didn't affect me.

This is just my story. Does it change sometimes ? Learning to love myself and try new things has been a challenge. Not a horrible one. Just scary at times.

Just remember you are worth it. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

I saw this on Facebook. I am not a bog quote kinda girl. When I read this. It made sense.

Beautiful!

Thank you Susan, that is beautiful.

Thank you. I just know when I post I am open and honest.

I know if I share I may help someone. And that helps me. Kinda selfish in a sense. I know a lot of people here have helped me when I needed it.

Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do. It makes us feel not as strong as we should be.

Life can be very difficult sometimes. Things don't always go the way they are supposed to.

"Selfish" often isn't a four-letter word. It can be a gorgeous thing because, as you say, you're giving to others in the process. Living with others is a give-and-take which helps get us through life in reasonable condition.

When I'm not as strong as I pressure myself to be -- when I'm weak is more accurate (anxiety can be a killer) -- I'm grateful for the few people I call on. They come through! It's my hope that I'm as solid for them as they are for me. It's that part about "...as we should be" that always gets me. I'll never know who wrote "The Book of Should" or "The Book of Supposed-to," bloody things that they are. Might it have been I? Writing our individual books gets in the way of being able to bury those words.

You've clearly come a long way and you'll keep on going. Always hold your head high.

Thank you.

Anxiety sucks a bag of dicks.

I'll bet that no one's ever told you that you mince words.

I used to be shy till about ninth grade. I remember when I came back to school and my teacher asked me what happened to you over the summer.

Also I used to work in an all male parts department. Where I learned a lot of more colorful words. My mother sometimes wishes I wasn't like this.

Please tell, did you give the teacher an answer?

Some of them should be in parts. Only some.

Your mother can take it. She may be saltier than she lets on so that her little girl will be lady-like.