Worst Thing Said to You After Losing A Lot of Weight...

I haven't been really active on the boards for about a month. And hoo-boy! Lots of interesting threads I've missed!

After reading all of these, I want to write "UGH!" after about every one of them.

So, a big "UGH!" of support for everyone!

I have not had anyone really be intentionally rude to me, but in general, I have just been uncomfortable with people commenting.

I think the worst comments I got--at least the ones that bothered me the most--were the ones that negated my experience, that negated my years of struggle and effort with my weight before the surgery.

Example, a religious leader in my congregation, after I had lost 50 pounds, said, "Wow, you look great. What have you been doing? Just working out more?"

As if it were that easy. I honestly felt that I had tried very hard for many years to "eat healthy" and work out. Truly, on the working out: For 20 years, I walked 4-6x/week. I really upped the exercise after my 4th child, when my weight got worse and worse. At my peak, I ran 3x/week (60-90 min), biked 3x/week, and lifted weights 2-3x/week. I worked with a personal trainer. I kayaked 2x/month. All of this led to injury, and my weight--which had been significant before--just skyrocketed from inactivity and other factors.

I am not trying to avoid personal responsibility for my weight. But I would like credit for the efforts I had made. The man who made these comments has a very very thin wife who I do not think really exercises much. I also know this man was an athlete in college, but fell out of fitness and then recently started exercising again regularly. Having struggled with weight since I was a small child, I had tried to read and internalize and practice everything I read about healthy living, and had exercised regularly since college.

I also tried to eat healthy, but after WLS, I had to face the fact that my "healthy" eating was not really healthy, and that I did a lot of hidden eating and grazing that I had not owned up to. However, I HATE HATE HATE this idea in the general population that "if you just got off your fat ass and moved" you would be trim. Or if you had any kind of work ethic or self control, you would not be fat. I hate it, and this man's comments reminded me of how prevalent that attitude is.

My worst was hands down after my band surgery. At my high weight at the time (230) my manager at the time (our cfo) told me in my performance review that I was too fat and it made me look sloppy. words cannot describe how pissed off I was at him. I already had my band surgery scheduled (which I never told him about). Of course a year later I had lost 65 lbs and in my performance review he said he was happy I acted on his "feedback" and gave me an exceeded rating...I was way more angry about that than the original remark..like seriously, that is some powerful narcissism there, him thinking he had any bearing on my personal health decisions.

UGH! Ugh ugh ugh!

Worst thing?

"I like your hair cut"

Hah. Yes. I've gotten "you look different, did you change your hair?"

Well, yes... and EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT MY BODY.

All of these bad comments make me cringe. My mantra for a very long time has been "People are stupid," and these rude and unthinking comments prove my point lol

However, I've been lucky so far because I've kept my weight loss a secret from my extended family and friends. My plan has been to finally post updated pics and info on my Facebook once I have my 6 month check-in with my surgeon at the end of April. At that point, it will be interesting to see and hear what people say.

To be continued...

My all time favorite said to my face (and I respect her for having the courage to say it to my face):

Now that you are thinner and prettier than me, we can no longer be friends!

We had been friends for 15+ years. It ended that day, 1 year ago.

WOW! I can't even imagine but ike you say- at least she told you to your face.

I got smacked with a backhanded compliment just now and thought I'd add it to the crap pile while it's fresh...

I got a text from a close friend who said another friend asked her if she would be seeing me on hikes any time soon (I used to hike a lot with them when I wasn't carrying an extra 100 lbs around). Close friend told her I was working hard on losing weight and hopefully would be out there again soon. Other friend said, "Oh good! I always thought there was a really beautiful woman hiding under there!" All this relayed as a wonderful compliment? What I hear is, you look like garbage now, but maybe you'll be pretty one day, though we'll have to wait and see... Makes me want to claw someone's eyes out.

I hate that ****!!