Worst Thing Said to You After Losing A Lot of Weight...

So for those of you past the first fifty pounds or so, what is the worst thing someone has said to you about your weight loss? Or, what is something someone should never say to a person who has lost a large amount of weight?

I am sure many, if not most of us have had horrible things said to us about being fat while we were obese -- but I am asking specifically about unappreciated comments post your large weight loss.

Of course, there are the common annoying ones:

• "You're getting too skinny!! You don't want to look sick -- when are you going to stop?"
• "People look so much older when they lose a lot of weight."
• "I know XXX who had WLS and gained it all back."
• "I am losing weight the old fashioned way/hard way."
• "I always wanted to tell you to lose weight."
• "So what size do you wear now?"
• "You've lost a lot of weight, how much 50, 100 pounds??
• "You look SOOOOOOOOOO much better now!"
• "I liked you better/You looked prettier when you were fat."

But, what comment has been the most rude or shocking to you... assuming you've had any?

I will start: I had a co-worker in another department say to me:

"You must feel so great now after losing all that weight -- how does it feel not to be lazy any more?! -- I bet your husband is a lot happier."

No worries, she was thoroughly lectured and humiliated in the university's lunch room where her comment took place.

It wasn't said directly to me, my husband's brother who was in town for the weekend (he hasn't seen me in a few months) asked my husband if I was sick because I had lost a lot of weight...He didn't know that I had WLS. I lost 80lbs in the past year. Now all I can think of is, do I look unhealthy or sickly... My husband says that I am being silly but I don't think so. Why else would he think that I was sick???

Try not to let that get to you, I think people are just aware that many serious illnesses result in significant weight loss, and they are afraid of putting their foot in their mouth by complimenting you when the weight loss was a result of something tragic.

I've had a few instances where people have cautiously said to me "hey, is everything ok?". When I say "yeah, life's great" they generally burst into a smile and say "awesome, you look great man!"

People don't recognize me when I walk past them. I have had more of the "wow, you've lost a lot of weight" comments, or "don't lose any more weight or you'll disappear" type of comments. Considering the sources, I know that they are coming from people who are genuinely happy for me so I don't get offended.

I did notice something that happened more when I was fat though-- male friends went completely out of their way to let me know that this was just a friendship and that there was no romantic interest. I'm married, so this isn't really an issue now, but I did notice that sort of thing would happen all of the time. I had one "friend" invite me out with a group of friends for his birthday, and when I bought him a drink (as one does for someone's birthday) he said "I think you got the wrong impression-- I'm not interested in you in *that* way" WHATTTT???? I wasn't interested in him that way in the slightest.

I think I have pretty much been asked all those questions. However, for some reason, the thing I find most disturbing is when people point blank ask me if I had surgery. It usually goes like this:

Person X: "Wow, you look great, how did you do it?"

Me: "I really changed the way I approach food and nutrition and am oncious of everything I put in my body these days."

Person X: "Did you have surgery?"

I don't know why, but I find that so rude and intrusive. If I had wanted to volunteer that information, I probably would have said it in my initial response. I feel medical issues are personal and not really something people should pry into. Generally people don't, but like so many things regarding obesity the social rules seem much different.

I haven't yet, but someday I may reply with something like:

"You look good too, did you get a boob job?"

"You look good too, did you get a nose job?"

"You look good too, did you have a bunch of plastic surgery done?"

I'm pretty sure the people who JUST asked me if I had surgery, would be ironically shocked and offended by those questions.

So how *do* you respond when someone asks you point blank if you had surgery? That's really intrusive, and I don't think I would feel comfortable answering that- especially if I didn't offer that up in my initial response.

Depends. I usually take one of two approaches depending on the person. Sometimes I just go with "No". Other times I am a bit more evasive and say something like "at the end of the day, no matter what path you take to losing weight, it REQUIRES you to change your relationship with food, rather than be via diet changes alone, surgery, or the fact that you have become a meth head. All result in less food/calories and corresponding weight loss."

I think I often take the evasive route because 1) I don't like flat-out lying (although don't feel guilty about it when I feel the question is inappropriate) and 2) I don't want to mislead/discourage/shame the fact that surgery is an effective option.

Having difficulty with this also-- I don't want to flat-out lie, but also, not everyone should "have a seat at your table". Meaning, it's OK to keep personal things private. My private medical information is just that-- mine. I don't want people's crappy judgements or the whole "why didn't you try diet and exercise first?" BS.

If I didn't want to answer, I'd go with, "Wow, what an intrusive question!" And change the subject.

I simply say, "Wow. I am sure you didn't mean to come across as rudely as you just did." and smile.