Telling people about your decision for WLS...

I'm a little bummed because I just recently sat down with my mother and told her about my decision to have WLS. I had been throwing the idea around to her before and I told her about how my insurance doesn't cover it etc. But this time I told her I was really serious about it and how I had been researching all these other options and finding ways around my insurance not covering it. I figured she'd be thrilled that I had finally made a decision to do something about my weight since she has always made remarks to me about it my whole life. Also, she was the one who mentioned the idea of WLS years ago to me back when I was in my late teens/early twenties. She was all for it then, but I was too scared and just wasn't ready.

Well now that I'm more than ready to make a change because I'm at my wits end and just tired of living this way....she was less than thrilled about the idea. All she could say was "oh you just need to watch what you eat and get some exercise." Maybe she's right, but my whole life I've been trying different diets here and there, losing and gaining weight, losing and gaining, but when I gained I gained it all back and more. I could never keep it off and I'm just tired. My lower back is now to the point where it hurts so bad every time I stand or walk for more than 5 minutes that it's nearly impossible for me to exercise. I'm over 300 pounds and am ready to know how it feels to be healthy. My mother has also never had issues with her weight so I feel she can't really relate and makes it sound so easy just to diet and exercise and be done with it.

I guess i was just hoping for my mom to be a little more receptive to the idea. It would just be nice to have the support from a family member. She was there for me and was an awesome help after my ovarian surgery and I know that if I'm able to get the WLS I will need her support with that too. I am determined to get the surgery, work hard, lose the weight and keep it off one way or another. It would just be nice if she could be behind me on this because she sees how much I struggle with the simplest day to day tasks. For gods sake I can't even reach down to tie my own shoe and that makes me sad. I know that I am 34 and don't need her approval, but we have always been close and it means a lot to me to have her support.

I'm just venting, but also wondering if any of you guys can relate? How did people take the news that you had chosen WLS? Did you have support from your family?

The people I've chosen to tell about my surgery, I've couched the discussion as "this is what I've decided to do" (before) or "this is what I did" (after).

Don't approach these conversations as if you are inviting feedback... you are not going to get the feedback you want.

I only told people I knew would be supportive- so when in the preparing stage-- I only told my sisters. One had WLS, the other didn't. I told my Mom the week before surgery. Like the other poster said- I told them- didn't seek their support/approval.

mostly family knows- but it's not a topic I invite or seek discussion on. It is what it is. I use the forums for support.

Same as the others. I announced it as a fact, not something up for debate.

ive been very open about my surgery, but only once the date was set ( to family and friends who'd notice I was pre op) and everyone else post op. Actually, funny enough, my dad told tons of people. I can't tell if he was excited, or that's how he handled the stress of it haha.

I can't say if everyone I told was on board with the surgery, but at the very least, all respected me enough to not share their opinion.

I too told people about my surgery as a fact and that was that. My sister was resisted and suggested I give it one more try on my own. I told her I have done that many times and here I am in the same place. She has since been supportive. Hopefully your mother will become supportive after the surgery. I am 8.5 mths out and the topic of wls doesn't come up in conversations anymore. My new lifestyle is to eat small portions, lots of leftovers, and little to no sugar.

I was worried my mom would be unsupportive, but she really surprised me and even came to stay to help me out post surgery. I didn't go around telling everyone what I was doing, but when people ask how I lost weight, I tell them I had surgery. I don't treat it like a big deal and neither do the people who ask.

In the end, you're doing this for you. Family support is nice, but may not be the end all, be all. Keep your head straight!

Jen

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and two friends who live 1,000 miles from me and in opposite directions.

Nearly 2 years and 7 months post-op, I am SO GLAD I kept this to myself. I haven't had to explain or justify my decision or progress to anyone.

Pre-op I yo-yo dieted for decades, so this time it looks like I finally succeeded. BTW, my weight loss was not at all lightning fast. I lost 20 pounds pre-op. Then I lost 65 pounds in the next 9 months. Then I lost 15 pounds the final 9 months of weight loss. I've maintained at this weight for the past 14 months.

Honestly, I think people are more amazed that I haven't regained the weight than they were that I lost the weight.

Frankly, that surprises me, too. :) :) :)

I told my whole family. My mother was supportive, decided that she wanted to have WLS, too. Her insurance does not cover it, so she got a little bitter. It's a lot better now, but there for a while our conversations were short and to the point about whatever was needed, and it excluded how I was feeling and WLS for the most part.

I didn't run across anyone who was against it, but I do suggest having a conversation with your mother about this. Tell her that you have made your decision. It's final. You need her support, and if she can't supply you with that, these forums are a great place to be!

I have been very open about my surgery from the very beginning. I think that both my mother and my younger brother were none too thrilled by my decision. I think that with my mom, it was more about her worry for me going under the knife. My younger brother is all about being vegan and eating clean (though he's a morbidly obese vegan). Honestly, neither one of them actually came out and said that I shouldn't have the surgery, but I could tell that they were not 100% on board.

I've been lucky and have had great support. It may be that your mother will never come around and support your decision, and as much as that may suck, it shouldn't deter you from getting healthy however you feel best for yourself.

Luckily, this website is awesome for support and you will likely be able to find some sort of support group in your hometown. There are also a lot of facebook groups that provide support.

Stay strong and do what you feel is best for you. Maybe once she sees the positive changes she will come around.

Good luck and I hope to see you around here more often~!

My mom supports my decision, my husband is still not pleased that I've made a decision to do it. Since starting the required 3 month program before surgery, I've lost 20 pounds. I started on January 11. My husband has said on several occasions "See! You did it ! And without surgery."

I explained to him the reason I'm able and determined to lose before the surgery, is because I want and need the surgery. I need that tool. And I'm sure pretty much everyone on this site is going to say the same thing.

We need the tool.

Those who have never had a problem with food or weight, will never understand. I simply say to those who are questioning my decision: 'Thank you for your input. I've made a decision and I'm sticking to it.'

Good luck in your journey and do this for YOU! You got this!