Where am I now?

I was a whoppin' 259 lbs. at my highest b4 WLS in Sept 2004.  Being an Army Spouse I was able to get the R-y surgery when the doctors were away in Ira and no one was monitoring requirements necessary, except for these-?mental health check, being over 100 lbs with comorbids, and attending 2 or 3 group sessions.  After the surgery, I drove myself over 200 miles so I could have the WLS and spend 4 days of H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.  I went home to my two small children who stayed with friends (Daddy was in the "sandbox" aka Iraq).  WLS was the worst thing and the best choice I could have ever made.  Within 3 months I lost over 65 pounds, got my dream job, and was moved into the first brand new housing units at their expense .  My weight plateaued at 130 lbs until 2008-2010 when I got down to below my goal of 120...lowest 117 lbs.  I looked great except for the flab.... (Ugh....disgusting !)  It was then I began fighting demons and was in pain constantly.  I was finally diagnosed with RSD and started taking meds that began to show their side effects on my thighs and back end.  Since then, my weight has been moving more and more up the scale.  I plateaued at 165.  Then last year I was served with D-papers and since then it's been utter HE-dbl Hockey Stix .  With awful stress, no sleep, lack of services in the very rural town I live, along with my meds for my RSD, I believe all of these have played nasty tricks on me.  I have no iron, unable to keep most of my foods down, and I have a horrible pain in the middle and top of my stomach. I eat  oyster crackers since they don't get the "stuck" feeling in my pouch or give me heartburn.  I should be losing weight, but instead I have gained enough to qualify for a surgery again.   I hate myself right now....no really?.  I was so happy and felt so free when I was thin.  Now I cannot walk up stairs w/o my knees going out and pain like you don't know.   I can go butt-to-butt with my niece's fair pig on "who's hind end is bigger" (and that's not something to be proud of .  I'm really lost right now on where to go from here.  At 217, I can tell you I feel I don't have many options to get my life back and get off this darn couch.  Do I qualify for a revision?  Any other suggestions?  Oh and my 30th class reunion is only 5 months away.    Nnnhelp.

Hi Tracy,

It breaks my heart when I hear someone beating up on themselves.  But I do understand, been there done that my entire life.  You could try to get back on track and I have a great list to help you.  While you are working on that (take it one change at a time) you can call your insurance and see if they will cover revision surgery and see if that is an option for you.  It happened you can change it but you can stop it and try to turn things around.  Here is the list that helped me get back on track. Please stay in touch!

You have already taken the hardest step by saying enough is enough and now I want to get back on track.  Here are some steps I hope will help you. They helped me...  

Planning/Preparing

Remember when we were preparing for surgery?  How many meetings, classes and such did we attend?  We were told the more prepared we were the better our chances were for success.  And they were right. Go through the house, car and work place and get rid of trigger foods.  Stock up on foods that will keep you on track. I removed every bad carb/sugar temptation and replaced it with lots of protein, veggies, grains and fruits. 

Journaling

Get back to journaling.  This will help you identify when you feel like eating, stress factors and any triggers in your life.  Once you identify these factors, this will help you put tools in place to keep you from eating.  It became clear I was not taking time for me anymore. I worked my day job and then spent the rest of my time caring for my husband.  It was easy to reach for fast, prepackaged food.  Since I purged my home I have to eat clean as there are no other options LOL

Use a tool to track you're eating and exercise like Getting Started with Health Tracker.  Once I started to track ever bite and drink it became clear why I had gained.

Goals/Rewards

Make a list of goals for yourself.  Make them realistic and small.  Some of mine were move more, purge all junk from my home, eat more protein.

Food

In general, a long term post-weight loss surgery eating plan includes foods that are high in protein, and low in fat?, calories, and sugar. Important, vitamins and minerals are provided as supplements. (if you had a different surgery adjust this to your food plan).

Water

Water is our Best Friend. I have to say I never went back to pop or any bad drinks, however I was drinking tea like crazy. What is wrong with drinking tea?  I was either using sugar or 3 equals and 3 sweet n lows per 32 ounce glass.  So I was either pushing to be diabetic or get cancer.  I found once I started carrying a bottle of water around 24/7 (yes had one at my bedside) I lost the cravings for the sugar and I KNOW those artificial sweeteners are not good for me. Look I am old and if you add up all the artificial sweeteners I have consumed I am sure I am at the rat in the lab getting cancer threshold.

MOVE!

I can't say enough about how key this was for me. The reason I kept my weight off for almost 10 years was no matter what, I kept moving.  If I could not go to the gym I would walk. I loved Zumba, bootcamp workouts, lifting weights. When I stopped, the weight started coming back.  So for me I am starting slow to avoid injury by walking and using some of the workouts on my Demand TV.  Find something you love to do and it won't feel like a pain in the *** to do daily.

Support

If it's an option "run" don't walk to a support group.

Keep me posted on how you are doing.

Thanks Kathy S.  I apologize for the "poor-pity-me's"...it's just one of those days and I don't have a support group here.  I love in a town without a stoplight or coffee shop so when I said very rural, I meant "Rural!"  It's one of the reasons I'm asking questions here.

Has anyone done the pouch reset?  I don't know if it will work after this amount of time.  

The revisions are covered with the military Tricare Prime.  My concern is the requirements to have it.  It doesn't state anything for a revision specifically.  It would be nice to just get back on track.  I want to start doing zumba and other dance again.  I saw the spring shoes?? They look fun but I'll probably be banned from them since I'm quite the clutz.?

Has anyone gone through a revision?  I'm interested in what they went through and how much they had to do to get it done.

Take care and thank you again. 

Blessings,  Tracy 

Wow, you do live in small town USA LOL  We have a revisions forum here is the link. Try posting there for revision questions.  Try to get back on track yourself....  If we don't deal with our head issues that made us put the weight back on a new surgery is not going to help and we will end up in the same situation.  I personally don't advocate a revision unless there are medical reasons.  Go through my list and be honest about which things are you are not doing any longer.  Then slowly start doing one at a time and take it one day at a time.  You need to make list of the reasons you put the weight on, learn the triggers for eating and put up road blocks for those red flags. If you eat while watching TV, get up and move. It it's hard to walk right now, go to a store with a cart and use the cart to get around.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Revison Forum

Please be mindful of your audience. There are people who have been over 700 lbs and here you are saying that 217 is disgusting... You are not that big at 217. However, I am not downplaying your problems. I am sure you are very unhappy with yourself and it feels very stressful and a huge problem for you. But please bear in mind you may hurt people when they are coming from 600 lbs and are now at 300 lbs, they read your post and become discouraged again because they are still much larger than when you even started out. Saying a "whopping' 259.. and making jokes about how you compare to a fair pig when you are only 217 is very inconsiderate when you have people that are wayyy bigger reading your posts. Even though my weight loss has been slow, and I have not lost as much as I could, I am still proud of it and I myself won't let posts like this affect my pride, but others could. I was 283 and now I am 215 since having surgery in June. We all worry about what people think, and when you are on here thinking those numbers are outrageous, what must you think of us that are much bigger? That's all. 

Now that the not so good advice is out of the way... I really hope you do find relief, and stop eating oyster crackers if you want to lose weight. Nothing but carbs. :) I am sure there is something you can do! Kathy is right, YOU CAN DO THIS. Find some protein that doesn't cause that stuck feeling. It is possible, you just gotta put in some effort to find things that work. :) I am not sure why you're having heartburn, bc RNY surgery usually eliminates that. Maybe go see someone about a possible hernia if youre in that much pain. If it's a hernia, that explains the pain! Maybe they can fix it and you can go back to eating the right things! :)

Again, sorry for the ugliness, I just think maybe you don't realize how you are making others feel, and I wanted to let you know. I wish you the best of luck!

I disagree! Everyone here knows who the audience is! That is why we are here! She is writing about how she feels about her body and what she is thinking and feeling. Why should she censor her post? Because she might hurt someones feelings? We are all adults and have dealt with much worse.

This is true, I'm just letting her know how it could affect others to the point of major discouragement, which often leads to bad choices. I would not want a post of mine to discourage, so i thought maybe she doesn't realize. If she does realize and still doesn't care, then by all means. Continue. It's a free country.

If medications caused your regain and you're still taking them it's going to be extremely hard to lose . 

Im assuming you're taking something akin to a steroid or a weight- gaining antidepressant .

there are non weight gain promoting  alternatives for both but you do have to be willing to experiment and maybe even think slightly outside the " traditional Western prescription medicine " box. 

Journaling what you're eating and drinking on the RNY board was a real eye opener for me recently . My carb consumption ( and calories consumed) too was off the charts and I quickly realized I could painlessly make significant changes 

• cutting out the 26 gram carb apiece fat free whole wheat tortillas I used to make breakfast enchiladas 
• not adding rice and peas to meals just eating the protein and the veg 
• mixing less fat free powdered milk in with my lattes 
• having a few less wine spritzers and cutting out day drinking 
• which also leads to more willingness to exercise since I'm not wallowing around in front of the TV moaning about how I hate doing my taxes lol . 
• Yesterday I actually met with my accountant and hope to turn in part of my tax papers today yay one day before the deadline and while I can still take advantage of the City's requirement to help.                         
• I already feel ten thousand times better I've been for a few beach and park hikes , I joined a hiking group on Meetup and my jeans fit me again! 

I really recommend Meetup walking and hiking groups for getting back on track ! 

Its awesome to walk and talk it doesn't feel like you're exercising at all - and usually groups hike amazing scenic trails very few residents even know about which makes you really appreciate the natural beauty of your town and county . 

You also network and make friendships- I've met great successful people on almost every hike :)