It Friday ..let's ***** about life after we had WLS.. what don't you like about it?

I agree . It's very hard after being a simpering pleaser if you will my whole life to be firm and no nonsense with men. 

I still find it easier to take a number I'll never call from an undesireable male than to make a joke or just say hell no like a lot of pretty girls do. It's funny because I'm embarrassing myself people don't expect me to act this way yet I have such a hard time rejecting anybody in public . 

It's like I have compassion for everyone but myself grrr. 

After a year and a half broken up but still fielding sometimes seventy five harassing phone calls a day and unwanted constant visits knocking on my door or worse jumping out of the bushes I finally filed a restraining order against the ex. Only because he was calling my boss when I couldn't pick his calls up at work and finally he actually called my father ! That was it for me ..

Dang!  I hate this for you.  

I'm a certified martial arts instructor and teach women's self defense classes.  We teach women how to get away if someone grabs them by the arm, the neck, the cross body handbag.  We teach you how to use everyday items like ink pens, keys and credit cards as weapons.  

We also train you on what to do if someone pins you against a wall, in a corner or on the floor.

At the end of the class series, we suit our male instructors up in full body suits, complete with helmet, cup, face guard...  They walk around and "attack" class participants. It was truly terrifying my first two times through, but I'm confident that I can get out of most any situation. If I don't, I'll definitely leave some damage and I'll have my attackers DNA under my nails, in my teeth and on my person.

Every woman should take a class like this.  It's emotional, it's raw, it's uncomfortable but it's super empowering.  The self awareness and confidence it gives you is priceless.  

I appreciate that.  Unfortunately, the only prevention from being attacked is to be lucky enough not to come across an attacker.    

I should let you know that I had a black belt in karate and had taken several self-defense classes before I was raped.  For a long time, I blamed myself for not being able to get away with all that preparedness.  Ultimately, my efforts on served to **** him off more.

No words can express how sorry I am that happened to you Kat, hugs.  

What a horrible experience... hugs to you.  I'm sorry this happened to you.

I am so very sorry this happened to you.

Big hugs.

Kathy

I feel the same way.  I was body checked by a man while walking down the street holding my 7 year old's hand last week.   He knocked me back a few feet and I almost fell over.  He only connected with the edge of my shoulder but it was a clear indication that I would have been powerless if he'd wanted to go further than that.  I felt pretty damn vulnerable.

Invisibility has it's rewards.

I feel very 'on display' at all times with those who knew me before I lost weight besides DH. Like everyone is watching me to see what I eat. I hate being put on the spot with them asking me repeatedly what I can eat at family functions. I don't like to be the center of attention at all.