How to feel satisfied...

I live in Ypsi and work in Southfield, so I totally understand.  I have a long commute everyday.  Weekends would be the best for me, since I work Monday through Friday.  I'll PM you my name and cell phone number.  I'm active on facebook as well, if you're on there, look me up!

If this helps, keep it, if not,pitch.

About 6 months after WLS, I came across a video from a dr who said, after going through all the stats for WLS, that in the end, the goal is to have a healthy and happy relationship with food and your body. It hit me like I had never heard anything like that before (this is about my perpetual diet mindset - and how distorted my mindset was.)  This 'new thinking' was in my mind as the 'emotional high' from seeing the scale go down tapered off and I transitioned to maintaining. I have been working on that for 18 months now.  I think that this transitiion in goals from the scale to having a healthy and happy relationship with food and your body is helpful in establishing the long term mentality for post WLS success.  I am 2+ years now, so I only have that experience, the 5+ and 10+ yrs post-WLSers may have a different opinion. 

You are still recent in your surgery.  (even though you are 18 months post-op) and your perspective will continue to develop.  You may look back in a few years with kind humor at your current mindset. 

I did have plastics to deal with the arm flab (I felt that if I fell asleep and put my arm over my head I would suffocate from the batwing.)  Although I have a scars, I am still glad I had that done - it saved my sanity.  

Here is the video from DR Weiner - it is at the very end that he talks about having a healthy and happy relationship with food and your body.  I am re-inspired everytime I listen to it.

Here are my hopes for your continued progress, in all ways.

http://drmatthewweiner.com/how-much-weight-will-i-lose-after -bariatric-surgery/

It is 16 min long and it is near the very end - like @ 15 min that he talks about what success it.  But please listen to the whole 16 min and let me know what you think.

Every time I read the thread title I s****** to myself, and it's Friday so I thought I would share:

[ ] Thread title delivers

As a singleton, I was hoping for so much more

Sorry, I have no insight into your question, but well done on such an amazing achievement!

I am very new post-op but I had an interesting discussion with my surgery yesterday. He told me that he doesn't have a specific goal weight for me. He said that he considers my surgery a success if he has see me lose enough weight to get rid of my comorbidities and out of the morbidly obese category. As he put it, if you are significantly healthier after the surgery and at a lower weight that will hopefully sustain continued health you are a success. I thought that was a really interesting and refreshing perspective.

Rachel

It's funny, isn't it?  I am so much healthier than I used to be.  ALL of my comorbidities have resolved themselves.  I think that the BMI chart is a bit silly, because I don't really feel like I'm overweight.  I need to lose 20 more pounds for my BMI to be in the normal range.  I'm just wondering if my perception is skewed because I was morbidly obese for over 20 years and while I feel healthy at 160lbs, IS it really optimal for me to be here?

I scheduled a DEXA scan for March 7th, so I can get an idea where my body is.  It's so hard to know just by looking in the mirror.

Well from reading what you said it sounds like you are immensely successful. We have such a skewed version of ourselves that we don't really see who that person is in the mirror sometimes for a really long time. The BMI chart is crap and you need to go based on how you feel and look for your health.

Rachel

I guess I'm just going to post this as an addition to my original post.  I'm just thinking about how I've made weight loss and weight loss surgery the focus of my life.  I know that it's important for me to stay on track and to keep my focus and my weight down.  I'm just wondering if I shouldn't just be focusing more on being happy and comfortable in my own skin, regardless of if I ever hit that goal weight that I arbitrarily set for myself based on the crappy BMI scale.  

I'm really just musing out loud and you guys have all been really helpful, allowing figure out exactly what I'm actually asking.  I find postings like this and the discussions that come with it really help me to focus and pinpoint what my actual issues are.  I was feeling frustrated and posted, but I don't know if I actually knew what I was feeling and trying to get at.  I think I am getting it now.

Thank you all for being here and helping me to work through this stuff.  

I believe it's vital for happiness to love your body everyday..no matter the size. Yours has changed a lot but your getting to the point where it's probably going to look like it is for a while.

I can't let my happiness be determined by my body size.

The answer to your question lies in your own sig line.  Maybe not that particular verse, but you know what I mean.  

After going through so much to get where we are it's still a mind f*ck like every day. I agree with your last post about maybe needing to focus on having your life not be all about WLS. But it's such a complicated balance. IMO we can't afford to not concentrate on weight loss or at the very least - maintenance - because we are obviously predisposed to obesity. But at the same time if that's all we concentrate on our lives are going to be pretty boring an unhappy.

I know I've said it before, an I know you're going currently - but therapy is always helpful and I think can help you try to find a good balance. 

I don't think there's a real answer to your question about being happy and if the answer is to lose more weight. The only one who can answer that is you. i sincerely believe it's important to be happy with who you are at any size. I wasn't happy at the size I was before but I have friends that size who are happy.

I also don't think maintenance is something you actively try to go into - it's something that happens. I kind of switched into maintenance around Christmas at 19 months. But I also didn't push myself with anything extra to try to continue to lose weight because I was happy with where I stopped. If I wasn't happy with where I stopped I would have kept pushing to lose.