I'm tired of having a weight issue.

EMACIATED ... really Hollykim? Defined in some pics ( now I'm unfortunately thicker) but definitely healthy. 

yes,I'm a nurse and I know defined and I know emaciated

I've seen members I'd consider emaciated on here a few times - usually bounce back regain renders them gorgeous. 

Me ... I would not call that . I've always been a little too thick for my profession ( which is filled with big headed lollipop people and recently rangy gorgeous Australians grrr) 

but thank God I'm sickeningly healthy post op and of course loathe to mess that up . 

I am curious. You have had RNY according to your profile which is one of the more aggressive surgeries. I am not sure what you are expecting surgery to do for you. I don't believe what your asking for even exists nor would it be healthy.

given how low your BMI, it seems as if you are asking for an eating disorder.

unfortunately for those of us that have a metabolic disease there will never be a time where we don't have to remain digilant.

The research actually shows that too thin can shorten lifespan as much as being obese.  Being in normal to slightly overweight ranges (using the BMI scale which I think is bogus but it's a handy reference point at least) seems to have the most protective effect long-term.

I'm fairly new here on OH, so I don't know your whole story, but I read your other post, and it seems you have pressure with your job to stay on the underweight side.  I'm sure that pressure makes it rough for you.  You said the 20# weight gain has caused you to become prehypertensive.  As a nurse, I'd suspect your stress levels more than a 20# weight gain with a BMI of just under 20, frankly.  There's so much more to overall health than just weight.

It sounds like you're making huge improvements to your life in general, and that's great.  I would suggest taking that same approach to your eating plan.  You say you love food and love eating lots of it.  I went into therapy for food issues well before surgery, and I credit therapy as much as the surgery with helping me change my relationship with food.  I used to want food and lots of it.  Now I enjoy food, but I don't need to eat huge quantities.  The drive to eat large portions, in my experience, indicates an unhealthy relationship with food, whether or not it rises to the level of a true eating disorder is for a professional to examine, but it's a possibility.

The surgery is nothing but a tool, and it will only work as hard as you do.  If you don't change your relationship to food, the tool will not get (or keep) you where you want to be, no matter how good the tool is.  

You mentioned alcohol in your other post.  Crossover addiction is a thing.  You need to know why you want the alcohol so bad as to compromise your weight goals (and apparently your career) for it.  I'm not a teetotaler, but I can frankly take or leave alcohol.  Even before surgery, drinking was a once or twice a month kind of thing for me, with one or two drinks at a time.  Post-op, I've had a hard cider here and there, and one party with friends where I had two margaritas.  I'd walk away from alcohol forever if it were threatening my health or my career.  If you aren't willing to even consider cutting back for your health and career, that could be an indication that you have an issue with alcohol that might need to be addressed.

No one says you have to quit enjoying life, but you do have to make some changes to your relationship with food and alcohol if your goal is to stay extremely thin.

I tried sobriety for 11 months following my divorce. HATED it!!!!!

for me, life is too short to waste sober lol . I like to have fun ! 

Clearly just trolling now.  Carry on.

Why is an honest reply " trolling" to you ? This site is about discovering how to live far better post bariatric surgery . I wish MORE people would bravely honestly and frankly share what ails and ailed them and what they tried ... both successes and failures.

It's wonderful to have access to an anonymous forum where we can get our peers advice experience and feedback without judgment. 

Ava is a long-time poster with quite a history of posts like this. Many of us believe she's not a troll, but is rather genuinely mentally ill.

Gee thanks.