Friend introduces me to others as "This is my friend who had gastric bypass"

swim_bike_smile
on 2/15/17 2:41 am, edited 2/15/17 9:54 am
RNY on 06/13/16

So, I have a friend who inspired me to have gastric bypass after she was incredibly successful.  For that I am eternally grateful.  However, whenever she introduces me to her friends she'll tell them my name and then add "swim_bike_smile had surgery just like I did!"  Now, she is more of an open book and has told everyone that she had surgery-- cool-- that works for her. I, however, am not.  I haven't told much of my family and only my close friends know this.  What is a tactful way to ask her to stop divulging this information?  I get that she is very excited for me, but I just feel weird about being introduced as "the girl who had WLS" when there are so many more interesting things about me.

 

EDIT:  I've told her that I'm not really telling anyone before.  I'm trying to come up with a way to tell her (in the nicest way possible) to stop doing this.  She is SUPER supportive, and I don't want to offend her, but she's done this on a few occasions now. This was even after she introduced me like this and I said "well, I'm not really telling anyone".

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roxytrim
on 2/15/17 3:15 am - Cobourg, Canada
VSG on 04/12/13

Well you have a voice, and are articulate, I can tell by your post. Just say "I can tell you are proud of the decision I made to have WLS, because that is how you introduce me to people. Thanks for your support but I am a more private person than you regarding my decision and it is a very sensitive area for me. Please leave out that part when you introduce me because at this time I don't want it to be part of my public story".

Gwen M.
on 2/15/17 4:45 am
VSG on 03/13/14

I completely agree.  

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

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(deactivated member)
on 2/15/17 5:52 am

I just never tell anyone for exactly this reason. 

NYC-Hot-Stuff
on 2/15/17 5:55 am

You can simply ask your friend not to reveal your surgery to others as you would ask her to pass the teapot.  You don't even need to explain.  As a respectful, loving friend, which I'm sure she is, she will honor your request and instinctively understand that it isn't information you hand out casually.  If she does question you, keep it simple and cordial.  This isn't as complicated a negotiation as you may expect.

Lipsticklady
on 2/15/17 6:13 am
VSG on 05/14/13

Easy!

(Friend), I love you and I am so happy you inspired me to have this life altering surgery, but I am rather private about my medical history so I would really appreciate it if you would stop sharing my surgery.

Hug, kiss, done.

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swim_bike_smile
on 2/15/17 9:49 am
RNY on 06/13/16

Maybe phrasing it like that will help.  I've said "well, I'm not really telling many people about it" after she introduced me like that before.  Then recently she introduced me like that again.  It's been about 3 times now.  I'm trying to find a way to say it that it will register that I DON'T want her to say anything.

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Deanna798
on 2/15/17 10:22 am
RNY on 08/04/15

You're likely just going to have to come out and tell her exactly what you mean.  

I am bad, I get overzealous about things.  My hubby has decided to have weight loss surgery, and we have a  couple of friends who have had surgery.  I told them on New Years Eve, and he got pissed at me.  He is not nearly as open about it as I am, and is a much more private person.  It's easy to get excited and forget that it's someone else's journey and not my own.

Be kind, but honest about it.  I felt bad and have learned to keep my trap shut about his decision and medical issues.

Age: 44 | Height: 5' 3" | Starting January 2015: 291 | RNY 8/4/15 with Dr. Arthur Carlin| Goal: 150

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hollykim
on 2/15/17 8:56 am - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On February 15, 2017 at 10:41 AM Pacific Time, swim_bike_smile wrote:

So, I have a friend who inspired me to have gastric bypass after she was incredibly successful.  For that I am eternally grateful.  However, whenever she introduces me to her friends she'll tell them my name and then add "swim_bike_smile had surgery just like I did!"  Now, she is more of an open book and has told everyone that she had surgery-- cool-- that works for her. I, however, am not.  I haven't told much of my family and only my close friends know this.  What is a tactful way to ask her to stop divulging this information?  I get that she is very excited for me, but I just feel weird about being introduced as "the girl who had WLS" when there are so many more interesting things about me.

I don't really know why you don't know how to do this...

 


          

 

rachelp
on 2/15/17 9:39 am
VSG on 08/01/16

I told my friend "don't tell anyone." and she said ok. 

Sleeved 8/1/16

HW 285 / SW 276 / GW 160

 

 

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