Did you tell?

I have always been very open about my surgery.  I have had very few negative comments.  My mother did seem a bit worried at first and tried to discuss it with me, but I kinda shut that down and she's not too pushy.

I know it's hard when you want to be private, and I can understand that, but for me it was just easier to talk about it.  It also let me get really excited and into the lifestyle.  Being "out" was very therapeutic for me.  

I told my mom about my lapband in 2009 and about my revision. I'm a private person by nature. It's been peace and quiet, calm all these years. I don't care whether people talk behind my back or not, externals don't bother me. On a rare occasion, when asked how did I lose the weight, I share my current food plan and exercise. I just like to keep it simple. One of the reasons I didn't want to tell anyone about this (or many things) is as an introvert, too much chatting is a little energy draining... So I just listen more than talk, in general.

I grew up with a mother who is an extreme extrovert, so I have no problem with others who like to share their whole life with others. I just take after my father. :)

I am still 4 months away from getting surgery. My adult Children and I discussed it first, then I discussed it with my friends, Mom, & Siblings (I'm divorced)... Now that everyone knows, they can talk about me and the work I'll be doing to get through it and the weight I'll be losing to get healthy! People talk about me anyway, why not let them talk about the truth, rather than make-up lies about me! I'm so excited about my surgery and would rather people talk to me about the people they know who had it, so I can learn from their Mistakes or Greatness... Negative responses have been dealt with "I need to do this for my health or I won't make it long enough to see my Future Grandkids." --- Your close girlfriends, will be positive and maybe a little jealous... They may even try getting their insurance to cover the surgery for themselves. My close friends, even the obese ones, are excited for me and want to be there for me when I get home to hep me out!! If your close friends are judgy, they aren't as close as you thought. But I'm sure they will be excited for you!!! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

Chrissy

I'm 6 months post-op.  I told my husband and my two children who live with me (teenagers).  I did not tell my sister or my mother who live nearby because I believed they would be judgmental and would want to talk me out of it.  I told my work I needed a few days off for a surgical procedure.  (I only work in the office 2 days a week - I was back at work 1 week after surgery).  I told one or two very close friends.  That's it.

If you do not think they will be supportive, please talk to the psychologist or social worker with your group about how to handle living with people who do not support your decision.  Or make an appointment to bring them with you to talk with your team so they understand.  

As for the negative nancys - if you don't tell them, there's nothing to deal with.  When people ask how I've lost the weight (75 pounds) I say I'm on a physician supervised diet and I work out alot.  I monitor every bite that goes into my mouth.  All of which is true.  It's no one's business that I've had surgery.  

But the decision is ultimately yours and yours alone.  

I haven't told anyone I'm not living with. I don't regret it. 

I work in a very appearance-oriented field (media), and the people I used to work with were very much focused on looks/crossfit/diet. It was definitely something I did not want to share, and I am so glad i didn't.

I told my mom and brother. My mother lives with me so really had no choice. I thought my brother would be supportive but he really isn't. Very judgey although he pretends not to be.  I also told 4 close friends. Two have been awesome. One tells everyone she talks to and we have a lot of mutual friends. I regret telling her. The last is just curious and asks me a bazillion questions every week so I feel like I'm on CSI-VSG.  Education helped with my mom who had only heard horror stories.   My point is I didn't get the reactions I expected but I feel better that they know.