Going backwards

i had my RNY, on December 3, 2013. I am amazed at my transformation. However, I am struggling with depression and I catch myself going to food for comfort. My husband of 11 years, left me for someone else, and the stress is overwhelming. I really just need the support and ideas, on how to deal with this. The last thing I need, is to gain the weight back, and I know if I don't get this under control, it is only a matter of time, before that happens.

Have you considered speaking with a therapist that specializes in WLS? I have found them very helpful for stuff like this.

Well join us for some accountability! The RNY board has a daily menu post. Everyone is very chatty there, and not only will you get some great advice, but you can see an array of menus, and learn all about everyone as well!

A bit of counseling might not hurt too... going through a divorce, especially when you're not the one initiating it, is tough on a person!

I agree that counseling is the best answer. However, you have successfully kept the weight off or under control.  This time the stressor is major.  We all have or will have major stressors in our life. Skinny people find a way to deal with their problems.  You want to  be thin, so look inside yourself to a time when you were either able to succeed at something (kept your mouth shut when you were angry, kept calm when you wanted to scream, etc) and use those skills during this difficult time.  When we lose a loved one, or lose our jobs, or have major upheavel, all we think about are our problems.  They affect everything in our lives.  But our lives do go on, and we survive.  You will survive, you are aware of a potential problem and are being proactive.  Think about when you could not eat your fav foods during the beginning, you survived.  If you did it before, you can do it again.  Be strong until you acquire some coping skills from a therapist.  You can do this.

Honey please. If he left you for someone else then he did you a favor. That's not loyalty. If he left you for her, that means he was cheating before he left you There was enough time in that space to realize he was growing too close to someone else and that is unfaithful. YOU deserve so much better than that. There is someone out there that will stay by your side no matter what. A good man won't put himself in a situation to fall for someone else let alone actually leave. Even then, I recommend taking the time for you. He didn't control your weight gain, or weight loss. Don't let him control the situation and be a reason you gain weight. I know its SO much harder said than done. TRUST me I struggle with depending on other people, mainly my significant other, for my emotional well being. But I am learning that I can control it, I don't need a man to make me happy or make me feel worth something. Notice, I said learning. I still struggle. I look at how most people see me as being a super morbidly obese person. And now that I am no longer SMO... how much better people treat me. I still have a long way to go but its evident that some people are lousy like that, and you should not surround yourself with people who bring you down. You're so beautiful, and you can do this. Think of it this way, he leaves you, youre miserable emotionally, so you eat. You eat, gain weight, then you're miserable emotionally AND physically. Dont let it keep you from choosing what is good for you. He apprently wasn't good enough to love you, but YOU are good enough to love you. Call a therapist, they really do help you!

These words. Spoke to my soul, honey!  Thank you!

Thanks for all the replies! They have been very helpful. I just have to keep telling myself, that I got this!!

The best revenge would be your life well lived.  Taking care of yourself, getting fabulous...

Imagine running into your ex when you don't take care of yourself, gain weight, look like a crap?... Why give them the satisfaction? 

On the other hand - imagine running into them when you look and feel fabulous? And look the part?  And you can just look at him/them... And walk by with your head held high...??? 

I was dumped...And I ran into my ex looking great... His mouth dropped. Literally... He ask me how's going? Well... "Great"...I said as a smiled and walked away ignoring his attempt to have conversation with me....Lol... 

Imagine that ... Every time you reach for food that may prevent you from getting there...

Hugs...

Start with a visit to your MD or a psychiatrist. You may require medications to assist with this temporary depression. Then get into talk therapy-group therapy may also be beneficial. The interaction with others going through divorce can help you know that you are not alone.

Scott

Angie -- I'm sorry that you're dealing with a situation not of your own making, and that's never fun.  On the other hand, your husband leaving was probably the fastest 150+ pounds you ever lost in your life, so enjoy at least that aspect of it.

As I believe April pointed out, the fact that your husband left is on him and not on you.  It speaks volumes about him and his character (or complete lack thereof) and nothing about you or yours.  Going back to old habits is just handing him power, although I know from personal experience old habits are the ones that make us feel the safest even as they're killing us.

Please find a therapist or pastor you can talk to and trust.  And we're here as well.

You got this.  He didn't, doesn't, and never will deserve you.