What you wish you knew before surgery.

As others have said the head issues were what I wish I had truly understood before surgery.  See, I am a research nut and I had researched everything there is to know about WLS for literally years before I had my surgery but the thing is reading about it and hearing from others about it is still different then going through it yourself.  My surgeon said I was probably the most prepared person he had ever met prior to surgery but the emotional stuff still threw me for a loop.  Prime example, I almost went through a depression period in the few weeks leading up to surgery because I was so upset with myself that I needed surgery to help me lose the weight.  Just going through the emotional head stuff that I thought wouldn't happen to me was the biggest thing.  Being now on the other side and almost at goal I still deal with head stuff so to speak in that I still often feel like the fat girl in the room and have a hard time seeing myself as actually being in a size 8 on average now.

Also, not wasting the money on all the protein soups, drinks, powders, etc. that I could not tolerate after surgery.

Hi reree6898,

I think being prepared and researching is key, but as you said living it is the real experience 

The head issues! I think about a year of therapy should be included to our post-op programs. I never realized how much I was eating only because of head hunger. Also, I never considered food to be an addiction. It totally is! I feel like I am in recovery and always will be. 

Also the cold shoulder from people. I had my first major experience last night. I became friends with a Mom of a girl on my daughters softball team. We were both about the same size and always talked about diets & exercise etc. We became friends on facebook too. Nobody knows I had surgery and I haven't seen this woman since Fall ball season except talking on facebook. Last night our daughters had tryouts at the ball field so I saw her and said "hey what's up!?". She looked me up and down, said a quick hi (no smile) and walked off! We usually sit together and talk and she had nothing to do with me!

I am so sorry that happened to you rachelp...  I really think there is such a thing as "fat friend".  They don't have to worry about us stealing the lime light, stealing their boyfriend and sadly I really think they think she is lucky I give her attention as if we would be bowing for any attention.    We have such low self esteem we do sell ourselves short.  I tell everyone food was my best friend, never let me down, was always there for me, never made me sad or cry.  But, but, but.... my best friend was killing me 

I worry about this with my best friend. I love her so much but she is the type of person to have a "fat friend". When I lost 125lbs 10 years ago she used to get so annoyed with me and my confidence. She blew up on me because I kept asking her for copies of pictures that she took at our friends wedding. I was a bridesmaid and I felt so beautiful and confident that night I just wanted pictures and she accused me of being vain. We didn't talk for a while. Slowly I put the weight back on and we started talking again. I'm not saying weight gain brought her back but I certainly hope not! We shall see huh? 

I think YOU are her best friend, but she is not YOUR best friend.  You can do better than her!!

I had to walk away from some "friends" I would have thought would give me a kidney if I needed it.  We are already fragile with our self worth and self esteem and you may find as you lose the weight and gain confidence in the new you she may sabotage you.  My so called friends would  make snide remarks I guess now that you have lost weight you think you are better than us?  Make food suggestions that were not WLS friendly, I would go over to their house and there was not 1 item for me to eat and they KNEW what I could and could not eat.  The final straw was when they said you may have lost weight but you are still our fat friend inside.  I walked away and never looked back.  You may think you will miss your friend but what you don't realize they were always "not" your friend and you didn't see it because you felt you deserved to be treated badly.  

I hope I am wrong and good luck to you. But if not for your own good walk away and don't look back!

Wow I can't believe they said those things! People are so dang mean! You see all the bullying that goes on with kids...I guess it never really stops.

you didn't see it because you felt you deserved to be treated badly. - I wonder how many of us live this way. It's heart breaking!

My BFF is average size and over Christmas (pre-surgery) I went to visit her and she had a total break down (ugly crying) because she was "afraid that when I was skinny I was going to judge her for her weight". And also; that I was going to judge everything that she ate. She gave me examples about how she'd want a hamburger and I'd eat salad and make her feel bad. I can't believe how much this process has been about how it make OTHER people feel. 

I know right?!!! How did this become about everybody else?!!! How would you make her feel bad?? She is doing that to herself, good grief!! I have an ex-friend that I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. This was back when I had lost all my weight 10 years ago. I threw her a bachelorette party in another city and paid for a really nice. I planned a nice dinner then for us to go out clubbing on the infamous 6th street in Austin TX. She locked herself in the bathroom at the hotel and was having a panic attack because I was skinnier than her and I was always the fat one and now she was!!!! Let's just say, after the wedding I stopped talking to her.