How to help
If you are living with your mother, figure out a way to get out of there. Go to school, plan your career, move in with a friend, get a job in another city, get married, have a family. You do not need to help your mother.
She has swelling because she is obese, smokes, and does not move enough. She needs to help herself. Your trying to help only empowers her to control you and deprive you of building and enjoying your own life. She is making you into the mother.
This is the time for you to make your own life and make her be responsible for her own life. Don't be afraid. She will either shape up or find someone else to give up their life and take care of her.
She is controlling you by using fear and guilt. The only way to help her is to stop trying to help her.
Your advice seems harsh, but truer words were never spoken.
As a mother, I can promise you that they best thing my son could ever do for me is to live a wonderful and fulfilled life.
I am so certain that OP's mother loves her, too and wishes the same for her.
"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat
Point her in the right direction...watch videos of before and after WLS on youtube. You may even want to go to a doctor's appontment (consultation) with her. Then leave it in her hands.
At your age, I know it's hard. I had a very sick mother...that was sick for a very long time (not her fault). I wish someone would have told me to go get counseling at that time, but it may be something to consider.
Scott
The depression is first. Love her the best you know how and take care of yourself... If she uses the computer and if the opportunity arises you could point her in the direction on OH... she can 'lurk' and read, she doesn't have to post. Sounds like she needs to feel connected...
Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014
Goal reached 17 months. 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16
#lifeisanadventure #fightthegoodfight #noregrets
