Support

What everyone else said.  I have no new advice, just wanted to offer my support.  Fortunately my DH has been entirely supportive, but then again he's been with me on this roller coaster for 40 years.  I've lost and gained 50-100 pounds at least 10 times in my life.   The first time was when I was in 7th grade.   The last weight-loss was an over 200 lb. loss 11 years ago, but then once again I gained most of it back.  So yes, I can lose weight - I've proven that throughout my life, but like Grim said without the tool I know I would just continue to gain it back and then some more each time.   I thought about WLS in the past, but really wasn't ready for it in my head.  I wish I had done it sooner, but then again, like I said, I wasn't ready.   Wishing you the best.

"My body, my decision." That's what it comes down to in the end, and this is a mantra that many of us have needed to take up after surgery.

If he really doesn't want to lose you, then he should be on-board with your surgery. Statistically speaking, having WLS gives you the best chances of maintaining a healthy weight and reducing major health risk factors in the long term. 

I am overwhelmed with all of your support, comments, advice and knowledge. 

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! 

I will tell you when I had my lap band done in 2003 my husband said that was the ONLY WLS he wanted me to have.  It was a big hell NO for anything else.  Fast-forward to 2013 when I started having issues with the band.  I had gained a bunch of weight back because the only thing I could eat without vomiting was crap slider foods and even then ice cream would come back up. 

I went to see my surgeon and we agreed a revision would be my best bet.  Unlike when I went to get my band I had my husband come with to the WLS seminar that was required for the revision.  We didn't even get to the car and my husband said the bypass was the revision he wanted me to get as he felt it was the one that would work best.  Since then he has been 110% supportive of everything.  He even asked a bunch of questions at the seminar to better understand the different surgery types.  Sometimes knowledge is power and it helps to put peoples minds at ease. 

Now we ride the horses together, the motorcycle, all sorts of stuff and he has even lost 24lbs. 

Sorry you are not getting the support that you need. RNY changed my life. I had tried everything since I was in junior high school. I did well for awhile and then gained back. This surgery has changed my life. Trust me that it's still a daily struggle to stay down. My old habits want to creep back in.

Hang in there and I will have you in my thoughts.

R

They say those things because they simply don't understand. I had to ease my husband into it. I was having issues with a hiatal hernia and I said hey, when I get my hernia check out, why don't I see about them "stapling" my stomach (talking about the sleeve). Everything sounds scary and drastic to them. I left out the "cut out and remove" part until later. He said ugh, sure. I kind of took charge and let him join in for support on his own rather than asking or demanding it. He was always the "all you have to do" guy. On my preop diet I lost 10 lbs and he said see, you can loose the weight on your own. I told him yes I can and I have done it many times but now it's about keeping it off and this surgery will help me do that. He just told me last night that he never realized how big I was until he saw a facebook memory picture from a year ago. My husband now appreciates how active I am. 

I brought my husband with me this week to an information session on WLS at the hospital and I am so glad I did. Prior to this he was very concerned about surgery but now he is informed and will support whatever decision I make. 

I'm late to the post but you've gotten great replies!

My DH was semi supportive in the beginning and I wanted him to be super on board and my cheerleader. Which everyone is right - he didn't need to be, but I definitely wanted him to be. It sounds like you are doing exactly what you should do - giving him the info he needs and then letting him become educated from there. I gave him the facts, gave him the handouts and the WLS for dummies book and basically said please read what you want and then ask me any questions you want. I answered everything I could and told him he could come to any appointments with me he wanted.

He was the only person I gave total transparency to because he was the only person who would be completely affected by my change since how we eat and our lifestyle would be changing. After reading all the facts and hearing them from an actual doctor he became completely supportive and a true cheerleader. I hope your husband is the same way.

I see he said he'll support whatever decision you make - good luck with that decision! It's a hard one to make but was life changing in a great way for me.

Few people, whether obese or normal weight, really understand the statistics that only 3-5% of people who take off and appreciable amount of  weight can keep if off for 5 years.  Truly, only 3-5%.   Only 18% can even keep it off for 1 year (and I am not even one of those).  If sounds from your weight history that you know that you are not one of the lucky few who can keep it off, either.  So, you can yo-yo for the rest of your life or get WLS and increase your changes from 3-5% to 75% to keep off at least 50 pounds long term.   

From your picture, you look young and with a long life ahead of you.  The pounds and years take a toll on your back, knees, and other bodily systems.  (I had my surgery at 57 1/2, so knees problems were a factor in getting the WLS.)   Educate, but you may need to take a leadership position on this.  You need to do as much research as you need (and bring him along) so that you KNOW this is your best long term option.