What did people say about you pre-op/at your heaviest?

Oh Melinda...I hate that people were asshats to you. To blame you for the cancer is especially ridiculous. They all deserve crotch rot for saying that to you. 

Yep, people suck. But I've learned that and moved on thankfully!

When I was younger, I used to hear comments about my weight. High school, of course, is a training ground for insults, so sure, had to live through that. My defense mechanism was always humor though, and I must say, my wit sharpened to a razor's edge, so eventually people stopped trying to put me down, as they knew I would jump right back at them with a vengeance, always in "fun" of course.

Finally, when I hit about 30, and I lost some weight, I gained a lot of self esteem. Even putting on some of the weight I lost at that age, my self esteem never wavered. I found that with my very high self esteem (some people may even call it arrogance, but is it really arrogance if you really are that awesome?) I heard less and less comments.

What I found was there are two ways to deal with the comments: You can ignore them, and pretend you didn't hear, or you can confront the person head on. The former was not working for me, so I switched to the latter, and my life was much more happy.

I did the same. It took many years, but I learned to deflect with humor. I'd make the fat jokes before anyone else could. I figured I'd beat them to the punch. 

I once was told that I needed to stop it because I was a person of worth and I was beautiful both inside and out. My immediate reaction was to dismiss the advice. 

I still make jokes about myself...only now it's about how ditzy/clumsy/goofy/dorky I am-or something pertaining to my post-op body. I got in "trouble" a few months ago because I was making so many jokes about myself. Two very lovely ladies I know from this website told me to stahhhhp it already! ( I've tried! I haven't been super successful, but I've tried!  ) 

It is unbelievable how hurtful people can be.  I try not to stoop to their level and know that they are unhappy with themselves.  I had a sleep disorder doctor tell me, a couple weeks prior to my surgery, "if I sat around and watched t.v. all day I would be morbidly obese too."  He was from India and had an accent and I didn't even realize what he said until moments later.  I didn't even know how to respond.  I see this same doctor in March for a recheck.  Shall be interesting.  The funny thing is, just like your story, is that he was obese himself.  Too funny!!!!!  

After losing 64 pounds, acquaintances have been so much friendlier.  No joke!  It is amazing how discriminatory people are against overweight people.

One time in junior high I went on a shopping trip to Chicago with my mom. The trip was a company wide thing for ladies and daughters only. At the time I was probably 5'5 and weighed maybe 180. I was definitely over weight, but not like I am today.

Anyway, after a long day shopping a sweet old lady came and sat on the bench with me and my mom. She was chatting and looking at me said, "oh I bet your exhausted. Bet those feet are tired, too!" I just smiled and said yes, thinking she was just talking about how long of a day it was in general. Then she paused leaned over to me mom and asked her "she is pregnant, isn't she?" 

Ugh I was so humiliated. Tears welled up in my little 12 year old eyes right away. She wasn't being mean, but did those words sting. It happened over a decade ago and I think about probably every other time I look in the mirror.

That being said, while I have had hurtful comments directed towards me all my life, I refuse to let them break me.

there are some real jerks in the world, but there are far more wonderful humans. I have been blessed with great friends of all weights ranges. None of them have loved me less (or more) because of the number on the scale. 

I refuse to let the jerks of life take away my joy, especially when I'm blessed to know so many great people.

Most of the hurtful comments I have received have come from my ex-husband which is why he is my ex-husband.  My current fiance loves me unconditionally and has never said a hurtful thing to me about my weight or anything else in the almost six years we have been together.  I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

I agree with what others have said about not sharing the insults with the insulted.  What is the point of that?  Maybe they should try sticking up for you instead and leaving it at that.

It really bothers me that overweight people are the last group of humans that is okay to make fun of and get away with it.  I think the perception is that we have done this to ourselves so it's okay to bash us.  Who the hell would ever choose this?  Once my ex-husband said he believed I gained weight just to spite him.  WHAT?!?!  Women lose weight to spite men-- not gain it.  LOL

My mom just looooves to tell the story about how she had an 18" waist in high school and how she used to sleep while wearing a girdle.  In junior high, when I weighed about 150 she took me to a diet doctor to be prescribed diet pills.  This was back in the '60's when those pills were basically speed.  Thankfully the doctor refused that suggestion and gave me the first of many diet lists.  Not too much longer she caught me sneaking a candy bar up the stairs and told me I could just get as big as a barn.  One learns that there are asshats in the world, but that kind of hatefulness shouldn't be rained down on you from your mother.  I take a certain spiteful amount of glee that I now weigh less than she does.