What did people say about you pre-op/at your heaviest?

I know that we all talk about what people have said to us or about us after surgery, but what have people said to you/about you when you were at your heaviest? 

My mom worked part-time at a mom and pop restaurant for a few years. When I was at my heaviest, the owner of the restaurant asked her if I was exercising or dieting. She said that I was going to WW and trying. He replied, "Well, he's not going to lose any weight with the way he eats here." Talk about a low-blow. I haven't patronized that business since she quit seven months ago. 

Funny thing is the guy is easily 400 lbs. himself. Had no idea why he was so concerned with me. 

I love the quote, "What other people think of me is none of my business."

Personally, I think it is rude for people to tell you what other people say about you behind your back. My family and friends do not do this. 

^^^^THIS.

I always wonder about "friends" and family that tell us about the mean/hurtful things that are said behind our backs.  Why?  It serves absolutely no purpose other than to hurt us.

I call it verbal abuse by proxy.  

It's a passive aggressive way to verbally assault us under the guise of caring about us.  

Amen!! I had one acquaintance do this to me years ago. She is no longer a friend.

Nobody ever really said anything to me.  My family might have expressed concerns with my weight but not in a rude or patronizing way.

 I am a very ordinary person, so I don't think I occupy any particularly large portion of a stranger's time or thoughts. 

A few people made overt, dumb comments.  Some people are just thoughtless, ill-mannered, or outright mean. Mostly, I think people are concerned with themselves and not my fatness. And if they do say something, eh, so what?  I am well able to defend myself. 

I question why a friend or family member would relay a ****ty, hurtful comment. If someone spews bull**** to me about a friend or family member, we will have words but I probably won't say anything to the person who wasn't there. 

No one ever said anything to me except two regular customers  at the grocery store where I worked at the time. The first one called me fat when I refused to sell him beer because he was already extremely inebriated. I looked down at myself and said "Well, ****I was size 6 when I left the house. I hate when this happens." He got so frustrated when I didn't break down crying. Haha. He kept insulting me until I told him I couldn't wait to tell his wife what he was saying to me. His wife was an obese woman and she definitely wore the pants in the family. She'd have whipped him upside the head for saying those things to anyone. 

The second one gave me the "pretty face, but..." spiel. Dude was NOT attractive, was very heavy himself, and had 1.5 teeth in his head...but I got told I wasn't good enough for him ( not that I asked or even cared ) because I was fat. Yeah...okay. LOL. 

And then there was my dad...who made a motion like I would gain a lot of weight and pointed at me. I was 17 at the time, weighed about 150 ( like I do now ) and was drinking a glass of skim milk when he did it. That one hurt and obviously has stayed with me all these years. You remember the bad, sadly. 

One last one; a woman I overheard when I was 19 or 20. I'd gained about 80 lbs by that point. I heard her very softly say  to her friend "Wow, that's a big girl...".There was no malice in her voice; it was merely an observation. ( She actually sounded sad. ) I was, in fact, a big girl. She wasn't wrong. It hurt, but...it was the truth. 

Other than those, I'm not aware of any more comments. If there were comments made to my family, I was never told about them. 

My oldest child is 23 and has gained 130 lbs in the last 4 years. I've not said word one to him. My MIL ( his step-grandmother ) told me she was shocked when she saw him, but she did not say it to him and I'm certainly not going to relay that to him. 

If people talked about me before, I had no idea. People were normally pretty nice. I think I probably over-compensated by being "super nice" in the past. I have already let some of that go, but old habits die hard.

My grandmother, size 4, petite.

She's pretty good at not having a filter between her brain and her mouth.  Anyway, one Thanksgiving, not long after both of my sisters had gone under the knife for RNY (so about 10 years ago), my grandmother looks right at my mother and says, "You've got some pretty big girls!"  They were both bigger than me at the time....in fact, I never got as big as they did before I chose to undergo surgery, but we were all in the room.  Oldest broke down crying, middle sister turned red and went outside to smoke, I looked right at her and said, "My, grandma, look how little you are.  You're looking more frail by the day!"  

I thought my mother was going to kill me.  I shouldn't have said it, but I was about a month postpartum with my oldest child and hadn't lost all of the baby weight yet, hormones raging.  I don't know if it hurt Grandma's feelings or not, but she never said anything else like that again.

I also have an aunt that was fairly thin, mostly at a normal weight all of her life, and never really watched what she ate.  Christmas one year, I was the last of the kids to arrive at Mom & Dad's, seven months pregnant, thought she would be happy to see me, but when I arrived, she looked at me and said, "Well, you don't look pregnant, you just look fat.  You should have that surgery your sisters had as soon as that baby is born."  Few months after baby was born, she found out she was diabetic, still doesn'****ch what she eats, can't control sugar levels, and weighs more than I do now.  Her husband, who laughed when she said it, has recently been looking at having WLS, much to the joy of her, but I think she's pushing him into it.

In high school....there's not enough room here, but I'm better for having to go through all of these things.  I'm better to other people than those people were, and that's one of the things that makes me a good person, fat or not.

People at work were shocked when I told them I'm getting this surgery. They all thought I'm not fat enough. I explained I'm diabetic and have other health problems and qualify for the program. For the first time in my life someone said I wasn't fat enough. How fat do I need to be? 

At 5'7" my body couldn't handle anymore poundage. I just made the BMI to qualify. I'm glad I made this decision.