Comments that aren't hurtful but not necessarily endearing

I had someone from my church come up to me after Christmas service. She said that she was happy I looked like I lost weight. She said she never wanted to say anything to me, but when I was at my heaviest a few months ago, she wanted to tell me she was worried about my weight but never did. She told me I just didn't look healthy.

I have had a few people say similar things to me since my weight loss, and I know those comments are coming from nowhere malicious, but they make me feel bad about myself in a way. I feel bad that people were worried about my health. I could just be overthinking it, but it just makes me really detest how heavy I got. Uggghhhhh, my emotions suck! LOL!

I haven't had any comments like this from people that aren't really close to me.  There have been a few people (i.e. husband, mother, sister, MIL) who have told me that they were so happy about me moving forward to have a healthier life, how they were worried about my health, etc., but these people are close to me and knew what my plans were.

If you can compartmentalize your life into "my heaviest," "my lightest," "my journey to healthy," you won't detest how heavy you got....not so much anyway.  Instead of feeling bad about who you were on the outside, just try and be happy with who you are now.  This lady at church could have also just complimented you on the weight loss instead of adding the, "I wanted to tell you...." that left you with these feelings.  I don't think she was trying to be malicious, but it sure did come across like that in a way.

Sadly, a lot of well-meaning people don't have the manners or social skills to understand that comments like that--unsolicited and from casual acquaintances--are rude. These people seem to think that, if they observe something, it's fine to comment on it. Don't let this bother you; just mark it up to tactlessness. YOU are doing what you need to for your health, and that's all that matters!

Thanks. I had a feeling that I was being overly sensitive, but it just made me feel awkward. I think it's different coming from close friends and family, but coming from casual acquaintances is annoying.

Not at all! You aren't over-sensitive; she was intrusive. I mean, you wouldn't say to her, "You're getting so wrinkly now. Have you considered doing something about it?" ?

I agree that you weren't over sensitive. The positive way for her to comment would be to say that it looks like you have lost weight and how great you are looking, rather than stating how worried she was about how you looked previously. She kind of insulted you you rather than complimenting you.

It's ok...your feelings are legit.  I think all of us have wanted to crawl under a rock when we start loosing a noticeable amount of weight and then either look back on before pics or have well meaning people make comments like the woman did.  It may take some time, but you will learn to forgive your bigger you as well as learn from the bigger you.

This is part of the journey, you are not alone and once you are in maintance and many years out, remember those comments and this feeling, so as not to repeat history.

Don't feel bad about yourself, the problem is theirs and it's very rude/ passive aggressive (because it's "disguised" as "concern").

The mental part is definitely the hardest. I worked hard to forgive myself for becoming obese. I am sure it has helped me remain at goal.

Stay on track and keep taking care of your health. I promise you, when people get used to you at your goal weight, the comments will stop. It took 3-4 years for that to happen for me, but they did stop. And to keep the comments at bay, I work hard to remain at goal. I do not want to give anyone a reason to start talking about my weight again 

I told people at work I'm getting this surgery.