1 - 2 months until surgery

How did you decide who you were going to tell about your surgery, and do you regret telling anyone.  So far I have only told my close family and a couple close friends who I consider my support group.  I also told my boss just as a heads up, the reason for that is the job I have only has 4 people that cover 24 hrs a day 7 days a week.  I wanted to let her know so she wasn't blind sided finding out 2 week before I was going to be out.

I opted to only tell the people that needed to know in case I died.  You know?  The people you wouldn't want to find out that you had surgery through an obituary?  (That sounds grim, I'm sure, but this is how my mind works.)  So.. I told my parents, and they "made" me tell my brother, I told my two partners (of course, since they live with me and stuff), I told my three best friends, and then I told my massage therapist and my voice teacher because my surgery would have an impact on those things.  

And that's it.  Pre-op, I didn't want to deal with hearing people's stories (omg, I knew someone who did that and they ate pureed potato chips and DIED) and I also didn't want to deal with people trying to talk me out of my decision (well... have you tried just eating less?!).  

Then, four months post-op, I shared my surgery on Facebook.  That was an amazing experience and my friends have been mind-bogglingly supportive.  I'm not the kind of person who keeps many secrets and, for me, not telling people about this surgery was creating anxiety for me.  I wanted to cheer about it!  Also, due to my dad's cancer, I didn't want people to think that I was unhealthy when I was posting pictures or to get the "cancer" thing associated with me personally and worry about me.  So it was better to just tell everyone "hey, I had WLS and it was the best thing ever."  Lying and telling people "diet and exercise" was NEVER an option for me.  If I could have lost this weight with diet and exercise, I wouldn't have had surgery, eh? 

So that's what I did.  Very few people pre-op, the entire world about 4 months post-op once I felt certain that this surgery thing was working.  For me, it's been positive to have the entire world know because it makes eating around people easier (I never have to explain why I eat the way I do) and it helps add to my accountability feelings.  I feel like I'm a poster child for WLS for most of the people I know, and I want to be successful to prove to them that it works :)

Thank you for your insight...I really appreciate your taking the time to reply. 

I did not tell many people early on.  My family and close friends only.  now 3+ years later, I'll pretty much tell anyone.  I don't talk about it alot, but if it comes up I'm open about it.  I think it is more common now and people are more open than you might expect.  

My husband is going 100% the other way.  he has only told myself and a couple we are friends with.  He kind of blurted it out to our friends one night.  I was surprised, b/c he had told me he wasn't going to tell anyone.  I think it has helped him to have them to talk about it as well.  he isn't telling his family because his uncle passed away shortly after a gastric by-pass and I don't think he feels like he would get support from them.  

Its funny - my sister in law is watching our pups and wants vacation pics from Tijuana.  I'm not sure when / if he will tell them.  

After my ramble -- I think the right answer on who to tell is different for everyone.  I would say you will probably be surprised at the level of support you will get if you do choose to tell people.

I've only told my family and 4 very close friends.  I decided before surgery that I wanted to keep it a secret, and then after my 6 month check in, I'll post a new pic to FB and let the surprise unfold lol.  I have been huge my whole life, so I can't wait to see people's reactions when they see the new me! 

Like many others, I only told the people that had to know.  No one else.  I've still yet to expand that circle, but will likely do so very soon.

Like a couple of the previous people replying, pre-op I only told immediate family (husband, children, SILs).  Only disability knew at work (my boss just knew I was having surgery).  Post-op, once it was clear that it was really working for me, I "came out" to a number of people at work, friends and ultimately on FB.

I shared with a couple people that are close to me prior to surgery but as time goes by I will be open and honest.  I have nothing to be ashamed of or hide.  This was my only option for optimal health.

Congrats on making the big decision! I am very fortunate to have a good bunch of non-judgemental people in my life. I knew they'd worry if they didn't know what was going on, so I told them in addition to my family. I'm not telling the rest of the world, like people I don't see every day. Then again, this is nothing to be ashamed of, any more than laser eye surgery. You're doing something good for your health! Sorry if this is rambling--I'm still taking the post-op pain meds at bedtime, so I'm loopy.