Getting through the holidays

Good morning. I know I post a lot about being an alcoholic. Well here is another post. I have not wanted to celebrate Christmas because I had fear of it being the first sober Christmas.

Family can bring stress and so can the holidays. I realized it really is just another day. When I was happy I would drink when I was sad I would drink it really didn't matter what day of the week it was.

So Christmas is a day which I am not going to drink. I don't have the urge. I like being sober Susan. It is so much better than waking up and wondering what I did the night before. Last year I had opened presents and had no idea that I opened them. My daughters friend who gave me a beautiful necklace of an elephant and I don't even remember opening it up. I was really upset with myself. But I continued the drinking bender till March then I stopped I needed to get off this horrible ride of being a drunk.

Now I am going to use this method with my eating around the holidays. We ate when we were happy, sad, mad and other feelings. So everyday is a challenge to eat right not just one day a year. I know there are cookies and gatherings but in my life there will be food around and alcohol. So it is a daily challenge to do the right thing. 

I am just grateful I had surgery and stopped drinking. 

Just had to share this.

A sweet friend wanted me to add pictures. The first one is a before the second is during. I don't consider me the after picture. I know I am a work on progress. 

Susan, I am continually amazed and impressed with your awesomeness!  I know how difficult it must be day after day, but you are committed and I love that you are looking forward to a sober Christmas.  It's going to be wonderful for your husband and children too.  What a great gift you are giving them.  Stay well - I am sending hugs your way!  Em

Thanks Em. The not drinking isn't that hard. It is funny how people are booze pushers not only food pushers. I would think at almost 50 there wouldn't be peer pressure.

Having my kids be around me is such an amazing gift. Them wanting to be near me not just because they have to be. My daughter made me cry last night. Happy tears. She sent me a text of Christmas lights and her singing one of our christmas songs that we sing as loud as we can. It made me happy she was thinking of good times with me. 

Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration and I wish you all the best.

Susan, family gatherings do bring lots of stress and I am glad you have a plan to stay sober and to stay away from the cookies and candy.  One of the bad things about AA seems to be that they substitute sugar for the alcohol.

Stay strong and get through this one day at a time.

The food can be really overwhelming sometimes. I do bring peanut M&Ms with me sometimes to share. I can't have them in the house. 

One addiction to another. 

I am still getting on the scale daily. I know I have to keep that as something I always do. 

Coming here for support has helped me with my WLS and alcoholism. Just sharing and supporting helps me. 

I work the food addiction like an alcohol addiction.  I get up every morning and tell myself that eating the wrong foods will make me sick and miserable.  I don't believe it will ever get easier but feeling healthy is a wonderful feeling.

The food issues I think I have are worse than my addiction to alcohol. But it is a daily process. 

I ate some cookies the other night. I still feel them in my stomach. I know that is impossible. Just the way they made me feel was not a good feeling. 

I will eat things I am not always supposed to. But if I plan them in my daily calories it is okay. I do wish in the honeymoon period I utilized my weight loss better. But I have to look forward and not back. Not forget. We have to move on and make better choices not only with food but with life itself. 

You must be my twin,White Dove. I too tell myself the junk will make me sick. I don't really know that it will but I choose as if it will. I just take one choice at a time and try to think and be mindful every time a bite of food goes in my mouth. Feeling 20 plus years younger and healthier definitely makes all the good choices worth it!

At five years out, I started having small amounts of things like candy.  I was working a shift that ended at 1:30 AM and sometimes did not bring enough snacks to get through, so I would get something from the vending machine and eat a small amount.  One night I ate too much and found out what dumping feels like.  I was scanning the label into MyFitnessPal and counting the calories so thought I was OK.

I feel my best with no sugar at all.  If I do eat something with sugar I am very aware of how much I ate.