New to bariatric surg. Any advice is welcome. Worried.

Hi Liz, sorry about the miscarriages and wanting to have babies and not being able to i rough. You have a lot to other stuff on your plate to consider....

Interesting thing you said- "I m afraid of losing my lifestyle"

What lifestyle is that? Huffing and puffing to go up the stairs? Pain from your back that could eventually immobilize you? Not being able to play with your nephew? I won't touch the clothes- because that is only a bonus....

Yes, I was afraid of the unknown-'the other side' - It is not easy, there are ups and downs - mostly mentally dealing with your s***.... because that is the reality you are not afraid of losing your lifestyle you are afraid of losing your food. Our crutch... I say 'our' because none of us would have gotten to the point of Morbid Obesity if there wasn't and emotional attachment. I have friends who eat badly, and make poor choices- they are 30 or 40 pounds overweight.... you don't get to a BMI of 40,50 or 60+ without a serious emotional attachment....

Many people come on here and say they are afraid of dying in surgery- I know I was .... but I was also killing myself being morbidly obese...

This place is wonderful, search topics...go back and read posts.... When I got on here I just went back and read pages and pages of old posts....

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you are killing yourself slowly and the bad cycle doesn't get better, it only gets worse over time....

This is a big hurdle to overcome mentally- I know I thought I would never have this surgery.... I kept telling myself I could always back out...but I didn't... and I am so glad I didn't...

Good Luck, 

stick around...there is also a BMI 50+ forum, as well as forums for specific surgeries you can look at...

#noregrets

my thoughts exactly about losing  your lifestyle.  WHAT lifestyle?  When I weighed almost 400 lbs, I could barely walk, barely stand for more than five minutes, ached all the time, and worried all the time about dropping dead of a heart attack within the next five or ten years.  I would do this surgery again in a heartbeat - I would do it every year if I had to!  My life has completely changed for the better! 

Like others have said, do your research, though.  There are potential complications, as with any surgery, and some people definitely experience them.  Fortunately, the majority do not - they have none at all or just minor ones (like strictures).  It's on the safer end of the surgery risk scale - on par with getting your gall bladder out - and safer than a hip or knee replacement.

Hi, Liz! 

First of all, when choosing to have WLS, it's a hard decision.  I'm your age, I understand.  I didn't want to die in the OR, and I didn't.  I had RNY two weeks ago yesterday.  It's a major surgery, but the reward outweighs the risk, trust me.

I know you don't want to lose your lifestyle, but your lifestyle will have to change.  The other side is a good side to be on.  Everyone on these forums is here to give you advice and to support you.  If you decide to have the surgery, we support you.  If you decide that WLS isn't for you, we support you.

I'm sorry that you have trouble with your back, miscarriages, etc. I know that has to be hard.  Keep coming here and asking questions.  You'll get great advice.  I know I have!

PS--"I don't want to be who I was when I was smaller."  You won't.  You'll be you, the same you that got MO, the same you that decides for or against WLS.  You'll be you and you'll do great! 

I had a heart to heart with the hubs last night and reading all of your comments and stories has helped. Food is a crutch, I love it. Anthony, my husband, believes that I'll find other addictions, such as exercising. Going for walks, yoga, those sort of things. I do believe he's done more research than I have! He's infinitely supportive, I have an amazing support group here. The things I'm afraid to lose are toxic. I know how ridiculous that sounds. I'm afraid to lose my toxicity. But that's where I'm comfortable. That's where I've made my home. I need to stop that, stop the toxicity. I sincerely hope that I am able to use the surgery as a jumping point to leave the toxicity behind. I really want to focus on the positive. I've been stuck in the toxic for as long as I can remember. And you're right, this is just a tool. But I will use this tool for all its worth. 

Fertility often returns with weight loss.  Infertility is common because fat stores estrogens en masse, which we need to have normal ovulation.  Many people are able to conceive post weight loss, and there are many "surprise" pregnancies among some people who were unable to conceive previously.  Will that happen to you?  No one can say for sure, still, it is worth trying.

As for high BMIs, my highest was 131.  It was 78 when I had the VSG, and it is currently 50-ish (I get weighed again next week).  Our higher BMIs often benefit from malabsorptive procedures.  The best surgery for our BMI tends to be the DS, however that requires a very diligent patient who is able to keep up with the protein and fat demands, as well as a supplementation schedule for life.  It is worth considering especially with your comorbidities.  I would argue the upkeep and cost of supplements is far less money and trouble than paying for care while super morbidly obese, for sure.  I will actually be doing the DS eventually, most likely, depending on some other factors unrelated to health (job changes).  It is not a surgery for everyone, however it is extremely effective and useful for those of us whom it might fit well.

I also have a back issue - degenerative disk disease from being at a much higher weight.  In the words of the surgeon, I "have the back of a 70 year old at 39."  While I do not have a ruptured disk, I was told to NOT get a spinal fusion and to put it off as long as possible.  If your pain is worse in your hips than your back it might actually be nerve pain.  My neurosurgeon, who exclusively does spinal surgery, said to do PT first, and that often people get spinal fusions when they are not necessary.  Surgeons don't get paid for PT; they get paid for surgery.  Turns out 100% of my pain that one doctor thought was from the spine was actually just nerve compression and the irritated disks being severely compressed.  I did not get surgery and manage my pain effectively with lots of exercising.  Again, this may not be your case!  However, if you have not tried PT I would suggest it might be worth a shot if your back can do it!  I was shocked by how much of a difference it made in mine, and I'd never even have thought to ask.  It can't hurt to ask, and it's something you can start now as opposed to waiting for surgical weight loss.

As I have discovered, I will never be who I was when I was 20.  I can only enjoy my life now and who I am.  Despite my knee and back issues I love and adore my life 100%.  That is irreplaceable.  My only regret about surgery is I did not get the VSG or DS at 28 instead of 38.  Nothing is worse than being SMO - period.  

I support Valerie's answer - check into the DS.  You will need to find a surgeon in your area who had done may of them.  Lots of people with BMI >60 have had the surgery. 

That being said, it seems that you have a lot of research to do.  You can start on line, but you will need to find a surgeon who does WLS.  Go to their public meetings, and begin the research.  Your specialists are suggesting WLS because it is the best proven method to take and keep weight off.  But each person needs to satisfy themselves that it is the best option for them.  It certainly was for me!

So little setback today. I was unceremoniously yanked off my pain meds and muscle relaxers today. No warning, no real explanation really. I've complied with the pain mgmt plan and they told me today that they won't be refilling any prescriptions. So, still doing the pt and the walking as much as I can, but now all I have is ibuprofen. Which I know I can't take after my surgery. I even explained this to my pain mgmt dr. No dice. Guess I'll have to muscle through. I'm not really sure what to do now. Pt is so painful in itself. Walking is painful. Yoga is painful. And in 6 weeks or so I won't be able to take anything. Any words of advice?

I took Aleve all the time and got regular cortisone injections when I was super morbidly obese.  

I've had two or three cortisone injections post-surgery, but I haven't had one now in about six months.  I really don't need them.  Yes - my joints are damaged for life, but without the extra 200+ lbs on them, they really aren't very painful any more.  It's very tolerable.  You can take Tylenol or narcotics for the pain, but I don't have enough pain anymore to take either.  Like I said, it's very tolerable at this point.