Help

i am coming onto my 3rd yr after surgery, my son committed suicide in July, I already had an alcohol problem but now it's way worse. I'm so scared but it numbs me.

Kim I'm so sorry for your loss.

You should feel proud of yourself for taking the first step. There are many support groups out there that can assist you. Speaking to a therapist (one on on) in addition to going to a group like Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

You may also consider talking to a psychiatrist. You may be suffering from depression, and may need medications to help you. But please tell your doctor that you are struggling with addiction. It would be terrible to compound one addiction with a drug addiction.

Scott

I read your post about help. I can not imagine the pain you are going through at all. I wish I had some major words or something more to give you on how to deal with this.

I am an alcoholic. I am 8 months sober this month . I had WLS three years ago also. There are so many people at the meetings who have lost a child. I am not sure how. They still have the strength to get through the day without a drink. 

Seeking professional help right now would be a good choice. I do care about the people at my meetings. But they are not therapist. 

The pain you are enduring is one of the pains no one can take away. 

I wish there was more I could offer you. 

I am so sorry about your son.  There just are no words.

I am sure you have already heard of A.A., maybe even been to a meeting but please give them a chance.  They really do want to help.

Also, there is a group, Compassionate Friends, that will support grieving parents.  They have groups for parents who have lost children through suicide.  Please give them a chance.  26 years ago I lost a baby to stillbirth and they had a chapter called Brief Encounters that literally saved my life and sanity.  I cannot recommend them enough.  You don't need to go through this alone.

I wish I had the words to say that will help you but I want you to know that I care and there are people *****ally care.  Alcohol is not your only friend.

You will be in my prayers.

I am so sorry for your loss. The holidays must be very difficult. There is help out there. You could go to an AA meeting, call your doctor or if things are really bad head to the ER. Good luck.

Compassionate Friends was a big help to me after my daughter died. Other support groups where people talked about their 90 year old mothers dying just didn't help.  Also, private therapy to help you find healthy ways to grieve may help.  The loss never goes away but you do learn to live with it. Though it changes you, over time once the pain and numbness subsides (may be a few years), you'll find that you will appreciate the remaining people in your life and be able to cherish your memories of your child.  That is impossible in the short-term though so please get help.

I am deeply sorry for your loss...

You have made a profound step in recovery by admitting to yourself and others that you have a problem and you want/need help.

Stay strong and Godspeed on your journey.

I am just so sorry for the loss of your son.  :::hugs:::

 

There are no words to make it better only words of acknowledgement of your pain. I have been sober for for 13 years and have found peace in A.A.  Not everyone's journey is the same but that is what worked for me. I have never lost a child but know many people who have and still somehow got through it. I can't imagine your pain but hope you find some way to heal. 

 Kimberly, I am ever so sorry for your loss. My 22 year old son took his life July 2015. It has been very difficult. 

Lady Tazz recommended Compassionate Friends to me as well. The meetings have been helpful. Compassionate Friends also has a Facebook page and one specific to suicide survivors. The groups are very welcoming; there are parents at all stages of grief.

I also understand the desire to numb the pain. A therapist told me that if we put our grief to the side it waits until we address it, and I have found that to be true.

I encourage you to find a therapist or a grief counselor. I found that friends and family didn't know what to say, so they either avoided saying anything or said things that hurt. A therapist is a safe sounding board.

It's okay to grieve in the way you need to. You are under no obligation to be okay for anyone. 

I second AA as well. I don't drink, but I have friends who've been AA attendees for years. They are a helpful bunch, and they know a good bit about living with grief.

The pain (so others have told me) doesn't go away, but it gets easier to live with. 

We are all here for you.