I'm so sorry this happened.  However, I know you will make it through this. :)  Even in same-sex relationships or with women it happens across all populations.  It's a huge statistic. It is one of the top issues I see in counseling.

I lost my husband before WLS.  I was depressed and also very obese  (750ish) and couldn't do anything.  He had been meeting with and having encounters with others - and did not disclose this.  There are many reasons this occurs, and WLS is usually not the main reason.  It was devastating for me emotionally - however it sure turned my life around!  It spurred me to go back to school and finally get my BA and MA, as well.

Good luck:)

I am sorry he cheated on you.  I am impressed that you were able to turn a negative into such a positive!  You help a lot of people on these boards and I love reading your posts. The are usually spot on as well as well balanced.  

Thank you for making me smile.  

I appreciate it :)  MAny of you helped me so much long before I posted.  I would not have made it through surgery without all of you.

It sucked at the time, however I now often joke the fastest 200 pounds I lost happened when I got divorced.  Even though the end sucked, I also focused on the positive, and even now I choose to focus on my own flaws.  In my case I was not faultless entirely, either.  On my part I was unmedicated, depressed, and super morbidly obese after many health issues.  I was undisciplined. I can only accept my own flaws and work on them. I am very glad to be 100% a different person now than I was then.

I absolutely know you will get through this no matter what happens.  Even though divorce is crappy, sometimes it is also liberating, too.

BTDT x 2.

1.  STD test panel.  STAT!

2.  Get a GOOD attorney.  Preferably a woman.

3.  Join a support group. 

I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear what he has been doing behind your back. But as you can read from the notes quite a few of us have been cheated on.  

Things to remember this is not your fault!!!

you deserve better

you are a kind loving person and you will find a person someday who will recognize all your wonderful traits 

you are fierce as you have shown in your running, ice skating, and even work

you will get thru this

now get some therapy and a good lawyer 

i am am sending you hugs. 

Hugs to you, Skinny.  You deserve better.  You're worth it. Don't  lose sight of that. 

Much love to you

I just want to say that I'm sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to your grief and the only advice I can give is ..... try somehow to not put this onto yourself in anyway. 

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is like being hit by a train. 

You will get through this. Do not allow him to wiggle his way back to you to be your husband. This will not changed. It is not something he thought one morning like Hmm I would like to maybe hook up with someone other than my wife.

I have a very dear friend he was the one *****alized five years after marriage that he was not a straight man. That he was gay. He did end his relationship with his wife. They were friends for a long time after that. 

Cheating like this and hiding is such a game to some people a real thrill seeker for some. 

Taking it day by day. Tell yourself that it will all be okay. It will. You need to get some help to make you understand you are worth more than being a cover up for someone else. It can be very hard to tell someone you love to leave or leave them.

You deserve to be happy.  Deception is not an option in any relationships.

Cheating like this and hiding is such a game to some people a real thrill seeker for some

-You are right.  One of the things he said, was that it was exciting to have this aspect in his life.  

You truly deserve to be happy. And you will be one day.