Self Perception & friends

I could have written this post exactly.

No surprise Berry Sister.

Well Happy Belated Birthday,  Ha I got you by a year girl! 46 

I've been my current size for a while, so I feel I do a reasonably good job at figuring clothing sizes.  I do think that you are right to wonder if they would have been able to accommodate you if you were still larger.

Regarding the friend issue, I haven't experienced much of that myself.  My BFF and I aren't as close as we were due to reasons outside of weight loss and people who were my friends before are still my friends.  I realize I'm very lucky in that regard!

Oddly enough, I experienced more pull-back from a few friends when I was on a physician-monitored weight loss program called HMR.  On that one, you eat only their food and this particular friend and I used to go out to eat a lot and even though I was totally fine with being weird and whipping out my entree in a restaurant, he was not, so we didn't see as much of each other for a while.  

Some people just can't handle change in themselves or others.  You just go on being your awesome self and these people will either adjust or not.  :D

Jen 

"Who doesn't know their size?" 

Me.  I don't have a clue.

And I had my surgery sixteen years ago.

When I go shopping for clothes, I don't try anything on.  Too many years of terror in the three-way mirror.  Used to buy stuff, take it home and hope for the best.  If it didn't fit (about half the time) I'd stuff it in the back of the closet and try to forget about it.  I can't tell you the amount of clothing I've shipped off to Goodwill with the tags still on it because I was too freaking embarrassed to go back to the store.

I recently bought a bunch of clothes because I thought it might be pleasant to have clothing that fit for a change (I still struggle).  So I'd picked out a bunch of stuff and taken it to the counter to pay, and the saleswoman (bless her) started looking at the tags.  "Oh, no, honey," she says, "You'll be swimming in those".  So she goes and gets me everything I'd picked out one or two sizes smaller.

And they fit.  It still freaks me out.  I can wear a regular size "Large" and it fits perfectly.  Who knew?

As for friends, unfortunately some of them will fall by the wayside.  I had a couple who disappeared because I was no longer their buddy at the all-you-can-eat buffet, and face it, there are people in our pre-surgery lives who have a vested interest in keeping us fat for some twisted psychological reason that has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them.

So don't worry about not knowing your size.  It's not like sizing is standard in any case, so you might never know.

Congratulations on your new job -- you'll be great!!!!!

I had a buffet-friend . Our relationship has truly changed. Its very hard to travel with him now particularly overseas as he doesn't want to move or walk and spends half the day trying to eat McDonald's or fried food . 

What makes it more difficult is he's my boss in our business.. and I see his health deteriorating. 

I usually just leave him to sleep in or go antiques/thrift shopping ( walking) while he sits somewhere waiting for me . He yells at me a lot probably because he feels sick and is scared. 

Pretty much all he likes to is either drive and never get off the highway or ride tourist buses so he doesn't have to move. 

I keep thinking- was I really like this ? And how grateful I am to be given a second chance... 

I have to say is I have lost friends since surgery. Mostly we were friends since we ate and drank together. One of them I saw out after my surgery and she was not happy when she say me. I could feel the cold coming off of her. She did call me three weeks later and wanted to talk to me about the surgery. I ended up going with her a few times to see a surgeon about having WLS. She ended up getting the VSG. 

Also have had people who wouldn't talk to me before WLS. Will now talk to me. I find it very hard sometimes. I want to be a ***** Then I realize they are being the ***** not me. 

Some of the friends we had before surgery were not that great of people maybe and we were friends with them just because we thought we were not worthy of good friendships. Like we didn't deserve anyone caring about us. Having the surgery kind of woke us up. Like we don't have to take peoples **** anymore. 

You are not a hot mess. You are a caring person. Friendships can be very hard at times. I love the friend who you can not talk to for a while and it doesn't seem like anytime has passed.

I do know my size because I'm a shopper- lol

now i can just look at something and tell if something will fit or not. when I was MO I was not as good at guessing. Plus when I was MO just because it fit dind't mean that it would look good. now i just buy it and it fits and looks good. now i have to weed through the fits me pile and decide, do I really love it? if not sell or donate.

This probably sounds like a luxury problem but I wake each morning with flat abs and often a six pac I can see . Honestly after a lifetime of being frustrated and overweight looking undeniably hot totally turns me on ... I love buying clothes ..

But I get scared. Crazy guys call me all hours of the night peep thru my windows follow my truck. Even threaten me. 

Somehow I think everyone here has escaped this ... But I had ( very reluctantly) to take out a  ( mild ) restraining order against my boyfriend because he was calling me horrible names going thru my phone and humiliating me in public. 

I have very few real friends left - I found I could not count on most when I asked for sympathy or help. 

I think I was trying to put up a boundary of fat because I didn't know how else to protect myself . Now that that's gone I in a very scary place... Can any of you identify? 

How does someone get a mild restraining order? Instead of a real cop, they send Barney Fife? Do they offer restraining orders in regular, mild, spicy and caliente?

As someone you actually has a full/hard/real/restraining order in place, I am curious to know what a mild restraining order is and how that works?  Maybe it's Restraining Order Lite?  

I hope for her sake it's powerful enough to keep the creeps away otherwise what is the point?