Did you tell??

To add to this - it was important to me, and still is, that people know how I lost the weight (and am losing the weight).  People will talk regardless of whether they have the truth or not, and spreading the truth is a way to control that gossip.  I didn't want people sharing hair brained theories, or worrying that I had cancer, or whatever.  

Plus, I want people to know that WLS IS an option.  I want to be an advocate for WLS.  I would hate for someone who has done the "diet and exercise" all of their life to think "Gwen did it with just diet and exercise, so I must be a failure because I can't."  

And if someone thinks I'm a failure for needing WLS?  Fuck 'em.  

I didn't tell anyone I had asked for a referral to the surgery program in my area until I got the call for orientation, two years later.  Once it was "real" is when I started letting my closest people in on my plans in order to have support and someone to talk to about the process.  When I had my surgery date, I let the rest of my friends/family know.  Since then, if someone directly asks me how I lost the weight, I tell them.  I don't volunteer it, but I don't actively hide it, either.

The people who have to know, know.  Other people will know after it's done.

I told no one. Not my friends, my family, my co workers, no one. I spoke to 1 co worker who was heavier than me at my highest weight that I was going to a bariatric seminar cuz something has gotta change. I consider him a friend & figure he was battling the same demons I was, & like so many have mentioned b4, he knew someone who it didn't really work for, or she ate this or that, problems with gas etc. He still is on the diet & exercise only bandwagon. He is also, sadly, is still SSMO.

After surgery & I came back to work, I told 2 people I consider as friends, but asked them to keep it to themselves. At that time part of me felt a little ashamed that I got to the point of needing surgery, but knew it was the right decision. They knew something was up anyway. I was acting funny at my friends promotion party at the bar. I wasn't drinking & they know I like to drink, then calling in sick.

After I felt more comfortable I was more open with my surgery & when the weight started dropping off & they asked, I told them about the surgery & diet & exercise. I couldn't just say diet & exercise without mentioning the surgery because if I was able to do that I would've. It felt like lying by omission & once you go down that path its hard to get off of it. My mother was the last person that I told. She would've went into super mommy worry mode if I told her earlier. lol I was doing well & she could see that & not worry so much.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do. 

 

I told everyone for a few reasons.  The first is that my work environment doesn't lend itself to secrets well.  The second, is that my health was in a very poor state.  I am practical: I set up my will, and told people about it and my surgery, because I wanted people to know about it in the event I had a bad complication or died.

You absolutely can talk about it if you want - or not, if you don't.  I personally have seen clients who get surgery of any sort always have better outcomes informing others.  Rarely are there negative reactions.  More often, there is more support available to my client.  In the long run it is easier, especially depending on your work environment and family dynamic.

Nobody needs to know necessarily, however I think all of us who have people we care about would like to know because, you know, we care.  I have had clients who also reacted poorly because people they loved did not tell them about WLS or other surgery.  This caused an irreparable rift.

Having said that, you know yourself, your acquaintances, and your life's dynamic better than people on the internet.  My observation as a counselor, and also from my own mistakes and personal hubris, is that forthrightness almost always saves time, energy, and emotional upheaval - whether it's getting surgery, or needing to talk to someone.  It is generally more worthwhile being upfront and direct to begin with, almost always.

We are all in different places, though.  I encourage people to explore why they want to withhold information, rather than telling them they better disclose it.  There are reasons for it, and they may be benign, or they may go deeper.  It is worth looking at why we make decisions - not just the decisions themselves or what to decide.

I have been very open with anyone who asks.  I told my family and friends, boss, and a few customers where I work.  Afterwards now, being down 126 lbs... they realize something, so when someone comes in and says WOW, you've lost a lot of weight.. I say "Thank You" then they will ask how or if I am sick.  I tell them that I had the surgery and that I am kicking butt doing what I am supposed to be doing and leave it at that.  Unless they want more info.  That is all. But it has to be a personal decision about how much you want to share... no matter what.. there will be questions! 

I'm torn About it. I have worked at the same place for 17 years. While I know most will be really happy for me and supportive, there are those who will smile and praise and ask lots of questions but aren't kind and are asking to be nosey and snarky. I'm not good at being direct enough to say I don't want to have this conversation with you. So will probably spill then sit at my desk saying to myself why did you say all that. Lol . I haven't had my surgery yet so I have awhile to figure it out.  Maybe surgery will help me grow a back bone? Haha 

I didn't tell anyone. I had surgery, went to visit my family a few months later a 100 lbs less (i lost 100 lbs in my first 3 months).

I don't feel bad about it, it was my business. I have the right not to share my personal information.

A few years ago a woman where I work had weight loss surgery and she told people about it. After that it was the only thing people would talk to her about. She had some problems with her surgery, and people trashed her bad behind her back. I still remember them saying "See what happens when you do something so vain and stupid" and I butted in and said "I'd do it right now if I could!" They were shocked. So when I decided to have vsg, I didn't tell anyone at work. I didn't want to be the poster child for wls,or have to listen to their garbage. I thought people would figure it out because we lose so quickly, but they don't. No one keeps track of how long it takes except you. It's just up to you. If I worked in a more supportive environment I would probably tell everyone. But I don't feel guilty about it. I had a Hysterectomy and feel no need to tell that either, so what's the difference. Not really a secret, just no ones business.

"I" didn't tell anyone but a very select few. However, the day before my surgery, while doing the liquid diet, my hubby had a family emergency and while visiting at the hospital, HE told every single person in his family (which is HUGE! I swear they multiply when you aren't looking) So.... My secret was out lol  I didn't go with him because on a liquid diet with protein ... I had to, ahem, stay close to the bathroom. And he had no clue why I was so mad at him for telling!

There Was no point in not telling everything after he let the cat out of the bag LOL