If she was a friend or any close acquaintance, I feel very bad for your broken relationship.

Between us, my endo has had SEVERAL children and I can never tell if she is early pregnant or reducing because she has had a child. When she said that she would consider a half marathon NEXT year, I was like "Why? Are you pregnant?"  She said "No." which was suprising and I had to cover with ..."Well, maybe NOW, not tomorrow, is the time to start training!"

Ugh.

This wanting to "save" people gets me into so much trouble sometimes...

Have a conversation with her if you want, but not about her weight or eating... there is more to her as a person than her morbid obesity. Nope bite your tongue about her potato chips and weight though...

I would never talk to anyone who is MO about their weight unless the situation somehow warrants it AND they were the ones who brought up the subject. 

If I was the woman on the train and some skinny chick walked up to me giving me unsolicited advice on how to be skinny too, I'd be pissed, AND I'd be hurt AND I'd feel humiliated. I'm frankly a little dismayed this question is even being posed. I figured we as former MO people would know better than to try to be the food police-especially to a total stranger. We really have no right to push our agendas onto others.

If you engage her in non-WLS centric conversation and eventually things ( naturally ) progress to where she asks for your advice....then maybe you can go on and tell her. Until then, take the advice of The Beatles and "Let it Be". 

Maybe I'm taking this a little too personally, but your post just really got to me. I keep putting myself into that woman's shoes...being blindsided with weight loss tips by a person she doesn't know...when all she's trying to do live her life. 

Ditto!

Ditto. I'm imagining me in her shoes and the complete devastation I would feel. My DH brought up my weight to me at one point. My DH - the person who loves me and supports me more than anyone else. And it was horrific to me. We got in the worst fight of our marriage and still is to this day. It hurt me so badly and now I realize it came from a good place but all I could hear was omg you're so fat and I can't believe that I married you even though those were not the words he said at all.

So a stranger is like 1 million x worse.

I completely understand. 

keep putting myself into that woman's shoes...being blindsided with weight loss tips by a person she doesn't know...

• I am glad I asked. A psychologist years ago told me that I like to try to "save" and "fix" people.  While this was in relation as to the poor choices in men I dated, I do see where it was true in other relationships.

I just feel that I have found "the answer". And I want just want to save everyone. And it dismays me when they appear to be digging deeper into the hole instead of trying to climb out.

Glad I didnt say a peep.

Probably should have said "HI!"

You have to realize that the answer for us may not be the answer for someone else. 

Like a few others have pointed out...you don't know her situation. She may have had WLS and failed, she may not be at the place we were at when we made our decisions...or maybe she attempted to go through the program and changed her mind. Sound familiar? 

When I lost the weight, I went to get new glasses that matched my thinner face. I was about 9 months out and brimming with the first blush of success.  I told the 350+ associate how I lost so much weight, like putting it out there that he could ask me about having the surgery, without really implying that he should look into it. (I have been going to the same eye glass shop for 20+ years.)

Well, turns out he had WLS 10 years earlier and took off and kept off 170 pounds.  So, I was glad I approached it like this.

I liked someone's suggestion to just talk to her about how you've seen her on the train for awhile and since you both breathe the same air thought you would say hi to her.

LOVE LOVE LOVE your response, Audrey!!!