Hi Gang,

I normally try not to be judgy of the overweight and the MO because I once was one of them. No one likes a reformed zealot and the "reformed" are probably THE WORST ambassoder [sic] for many things.

So I have been taking a passenger train for about about 5 years to and from work and I see the same people over and over.

There is a woman, who I have seen many times over the years. She is MO and is so obese she has to sit sideways in her seat.  Every time I see her she always has a big shopping bag FULL of lunch sized packages of variety of potato chips. She is always eating them. Within 40 minutes she had devoured at least 3 of these bags while texting on her cell phone!  I was sitting next to her today so I was able to count. I was counting because potato chips are a trigger food for me and it was sort of like an alcoholic sitting in a bar, drinking water.  Either way, I was appalled/upset/judgy and the amount of potato chips she HAD consumed and the remaining amount she COULD consume.

The part of me that I listened to was the voice that said "Ignore it. She could have an hour long drive home AFTER she gets off this train and this may be her dinner" MY inner reformed zealot screamed "THIS IS DINNER!?!?!  This will kill slowly kill her!!! Where are the vegetables?!?!?!"

For the 40 minutes I sat next to her, I wanted to show her my ID with my MO self and tell her about my surgery. I also contemplated discussing more healthful snacking ideas like jerky, dried fruits, baby food (yummy smashed fruits), zucchini/cucumber coins with hummus or tzaki; or even soups.  HOw about a subway sandwich or salad?

INstead, I said nothing. She didnt talk to me and I didnt talk to her.  I am left feeling as if I missed an opportunity.

I dont know what the right thing to do in this situation was. My heart feels like I did wrong but my experience has been when I approach people on "stuff" (i.e ANY stuff) sometimes the wrong words come out and the conversation is often more destructive than constructive.

What would you have done?

Nope nope nope.  If you've seen her for 5 years, she's probably seen you too.  If she wanted to ask, she would.  

Take Gwen's advice. 

I understand about wanting to help. You will just make someone pissed off. 

If she asks by all means tell her. 

Love your response, Gwen! Nope nope nope is right right right!!! 

I am only 2 months out from surgery so still in the early stages of my journey.  My thought is to start a conversation with her just being friendly.  It sounds like you see her on a regular basis, so you do have an opportunity to be a bright start and/or end to her day just by being a friendly face.  Then, if the opportunity arises, you can share your journey at a time she would be receptive to hearing about it.  She most likely knows the chips are not good for her, and she most likely knows what a healthy snack is, but she is not at the point in her life where she is willing or ready to make a change.   Approaching her out of the blue may have a very negative result, IMO.  

no,just no.

I second that! Thanks hollykim!

I totally understand you wanting to help someone. It's just like asking a woman if she is pregnant and she is not. 

OMG. OK. Good point.

I said that to a woman once. I will never do it again. Once I dug my whole I had to lay in it. I was very embarrassed then thought well I am sure she was also. 

She never spoke to me again.