Reflections on 4 months (with photos)

Hi all -

I'm just over 4 months post-op and 57 lbs down. I'm a pretty private person so didn't think I would ever post photos but I've already shared some pretty personal stuff. When people congratulate me on my weight loss I feel mixed emotions. Yes, the surgery was/is very difficult and I'm glad I did it but on some level I feel like a fraud when I've been getting compliments. My old habits are creeping back in (already) and I really struggle some days. The whole thing is a bit surreal since I'm losing anyway.

My weight loss psychologist gave me the low down last week, so I know what my future holds if I don't solve this problem. So I'm off to the gym, staying focused on tracking everything and plugging along.

The first photo is the day home from surgery. The second was the day after a trip to NYC, where I was able to walk all over the city and not feel pain so there are lots of NSVs. 

Love you all and thanks for listening.

Lisa

Thank you for sharing your story - you are an inspiration. 

why do you feel like a fraud? 

Would you tell a cancer survivor, You cheated death, you had chemo?" or a heart attack survivor, "You have a pacemaker, thats cheating?" Everyone uses tools to improve their health. You choose this one. You have nothing to feel guilty about choosing to live. To improving your quality of life.

I didnt advertise that I had the surgery, but if asked i said i had the sleeve. Now 2 years later I tell everyone that asks, You look amazing, how did you do it? Well, let me tell you what I did, and see if this will work for you. Because, trust me, if it worked for me, anyone can do it :) 

This was how I felt: You dont feel like its real yet, that is why compliments embaresses you. You feel like you need to apologise for it, by saying, but I had surgery, like it isnt good enough... Plus with all the years of failure, you are still waiting for it to stop working. For another failure. Hope is scary. Just smile and say Thank you. and keep working the plan. 

Thank you for reminding me that I did/do know that it was medically necessary to have this. But I can get in a spiral of negative thinking, so it's really helpful to hear this. I know that the rapid changes mess with your head a bit (at least it does mine).

Off to the gym!

Your not a fraud, you are feeling the social stigma that people put on WLS vs "real" weight loss. Typically this comes from a few types of people.

People whom I'm going to consider fortunate enough to be able to loose the weight by diet and exercise are just that, they are "fortunate" and I believe almost every one of us on here has tried that combo over and over.  So high five or pat on the back for being fortunate enough to get ahold of yourself and get that done, however it won't work for everyone.  I congratulate people who choose WLS because they just like the fortunate ones figured out what was needed to get themselves healthy.  Neither is better than the other, just two different ways.

Next you have people who are are "haters" they either refuse to make a life altering decision in order to have WLS, can't afford it, are afraid of surgery, are slightly jealous of anyone who is successful, or whatever makes them tick.  But they'll be there whispering in your ear your getting too thin or you had WLS so you don't understand or I have to workout for hours and you do nothing, or they ask you to lunch over and over at the greasy burger joint.  The people spread the plague of doubt in our minds and make us feel bad for doing something good.

Anyway don't feel like a fraud.  Your a real person who I'm sure tried other things that people commonly suggest and found out that didn't work for you.  You choose to have WLS and just like any surgery you needed it or your doc wouldn't have given it to you, and you could pay for it, and you are now living with it.  There are things you gave up in order to have this done and it's a challenge just like it is for anyone who's trying to loose weight.  We all have to stop drinking sodas, eating too many calories derived from junk and sugar, we all have to pass by McDonalds after seeing a commercial for a new burger that looks good.  So you are like everyone else, making your way through the weight loss jungle, never feel like you took the easy way out.

Looking good!!!  WTG!!!