Depression

So I haven't posted in a while. When I first got this surgery I didn't keep my expectations in check and fell into a pit of misery that has been making everyday hell. I had dreams of what losing weight would bring me: friends, relationships, happiness, better job prospects etc. in the end I was disillusioned and quit half way. Now every time I eat I am wracked with guilt. I feel that everything I eat is betraying my body to make me gain weight. I truly hate this feeling. Is this to be my life? I feel so disgusting.

You are not disgusting,  you are human.  I wish there was something that i could say to make everything better.  I know what it feels like to feel out if control. 

I hope you know that you are not alone.  I struggle with food, i struggle with self image and depression.  

Hugs. I hope you can find peace. 

 

I think you did what most of us did.....we expect losing weight to solve all of our problems. Because we've been told fat people aren't happy...and all think people are. The reality is that weight loss isn't magic. It makes you thin and it does make some aspects of life easier- but it certainly doesn't solve all of life's problems.

I'd recommend speaking to your Medical doctor. It sounds like you are experiencing depression, and you may require medication, but pills aren't enough. You probably need some talk therapy, talking to an LPC or a psychologist could be helpful.

If you are not seeing a therapist already, this is the time to change that.  While the way you're feeling is not abnormal, it is not something you have to accept either.  There is help out there - please be kind to yourself and seek the help that you need.  

Surgery is awesome, weight loss is awesome, but "fixing" our bodies doesn't fix our minds and it can also summon up a whole bunch of new demons that need to be dealt with.  Thankfully, there are professionals out there who specialize in helping people like us.  

This does not need to be your life - please seek help.  You deserve that.  

Go find a therapist that you like. You are depressed and eating your way through that and not losing all of your weight adds to the feeling of guilt. You still have your tool. Use it. Find a therapist to help you get through this and find your way back to the track.

No, being thin won't make you happy, but eating your way through this and gaining all the weight back won't help either.

I hope you are able to find your happy place again!

I am sorry you are feeling this way. But coming here and being honest is a step in the right direction. I thought to my depression and anxiety would go away. It did get better. It is still there. 

Inside we are still the same person. I have a great life I have friends and family but sometimes I do feel like something is missing at times. 

Depression is real. It is not something that we chose to feel. I do not even wi**** on my worst enemy. 

It maybe be a good time to look into some professional help. 

Remember why you had the surgery. You want to get better. So try it one meal at a time. Go through your cabinets and fridge and clean them out. You are worth it. You deserve it. 

You are not disgusting. You are a person who lost their way. Start taking care of yourself. If you are feeling so bad get to a doctor or ER. 

Take care

Ditto the above suggestions to seek professional help. Talk to your surgeon, he/she may be able to help refer you to a counselor or therapist who has experience working with WLS patients. You can also search on your own-- talk to your insurance provider and see if they can help you to find a practitioner who is knowledgeable about eating disorders or body dysmorphia, that sort of know-how often transfers over to working with bariatric folks.