Anybody have concerns about post-surgery perceptions of others?

What I mean by this is about my personality.  I'm worried that my personality, which is fairly constant stream of jokes, both sarcastic and light-hearted, is more easily palatable for people when I'm the "jovial fat guy".  I'm concerned that when I lose the weight that my personality will be perceived either as more....conceited, I guess is the word I'm looking for.

I've also been told recently by a female coworker that she perceives my constant joking as flirting and she assumes others do, also.  I don't intend it that way, but that additionally adds a concern that friends I have who have significant others may perceive me as "more of a threat" if I'm skinnier.

I'm a very confident guy, despite the weight.  I mean in most areas, there are obviously areas of my life where I am NOT confident at all.  However, in my field, as a trial attorney, you have to have a lot of confidence. Hell, this post could easily be construed as conceited by itself, I guess, though again I don't mean it that way.

Did anyone have any issues in this area?  I don't plan on changing anything about myself; I am who I am, and I like me.  I'm just trying to be prepared for what to expect.

I'm a woman and I've always wished I had a better sense of humor (my mother had this dry wit which I miss).  So I don't have personal experience, BUT based on what you said I would guess the only affect is that more people will think you are flirting.  So if that concerns you, you might want to be a little careful sometimes, but I don't think that you should have any big worries.  There are outgoing, funny thin people too!

Yes yes and yes... 

I am a very friendly person ...and even before WLS - ever time I lost weight and was more or less "normal size" I had to be careful how I presented myself.  Something I could do or say when I was MO I could not do/say when I was more "normal" weight.  And yes - friends with significant others may see you differently. That would depend on your behavior. 

I am still friendly and joke a lot - but I had to adjust.  I am a business professional, an engineer, and I had to be really careful when I am at trade shows where majority of people in my field are men. What was a friendly joke in the past - could be seen as invitation to something more now.  

I would suggest a counseling - finding someone who can help you - be a sounding board - as you losing weight You not only have a position that females may find attractive but your physique will change - you may attract more that you wish for.  

You body will change- you personality and the way you see and approach things will change... The way people will judge you will change. 

What was once a jovial joke - when you get more fit ' may be viewed as open flirtation that may make a woman very uncomfortable... Or give her an idea you don't intent to give. 

I was always joking and laughing.  I said things that would have been inappropriate coming from a slim woman, but they were just a joke when I did it.  Now I would never want to say or do anything that suggested I was flirting.

My personality has changed a lot.  I don't tell jokes anymore.  Your post made me think about that.  I am a different person, but happier in my own skin.  I am also very sensitive to other people's feelings which I guess has turned me into a nicer person.

Telling jokes is often a way of laughing at other people.  I now try to understand others and do things to make them feel better about themselves. 

When a person cuts me off in traffic, for example, I now think that could be my father or mother.  I would not want someone to think about or say mean things to my parents and I don't want to say or think mean things about someone else's parent or child.

It did not happen all at once, but I am definitely a different person now than when I was fat.

agree with other posts and will add what comes off as harmless "flirting" from a fat guy could come across a sexual harassment from a more thin person

I so get this.  I used ti be the funny thing fat girl... Laugh with t me before you can laugh at me. 

I have had to and am still working on adjusting that.  My job is such that we churn through very large number of employees. So alot of people I work with don't know the fat me.  I used to make a lot of fat jokes, now people look at me like I have two heads.  My inside doesn't match my outside and I haven't successfully made the adjustment.  Have had to eat crow more than once.... 

I ticked someone off a about 100 pounds ago in my weight loss. It was a quote about what would happen today if i didn't think and behave like a fat cow. It wasn't specifically referring to a person being a cow, but the mental aspect of being stubborn and the frame of mind. I wouldn't ever call someone a fat cow. Anyway- someone got bent about it on facebook.

I took the post down...

Pretty sure I am exactly the same person I was before, I was never the flirty engaging type when I was MO and I can assure you I am not now. I have never understood people's need to get their dose of self esteem or whatever by having to flirt with absolutely everyone of the opposite sex.  I find it disturbing and usually desperate when I witness it.  You choose who you are and how people perceive you, and rather you care if they like you or not, it's your moral compass, you control it. You get to build the worlds perception of you.

Good Luck.

This is a very heteronormative post.  

I understand where you are coming from... it's good that you're conscious about this and thinking about it, in my opinion. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor and joke around with people a lot as well. Although I don't ever think I articulated it on these boards, but I was concerned the relationships with my male friends post-weight loss would be viewed as flirty or inappropriate once I lost weight. Not sure if that's a terrible or rational thought, but it did cross my mind.

The truth? With the people that know me, they don't (to my knowledge) see me as a flirt or come off as ****y or something. They know me well enough to know I have always been this way. However, it's a different story when I travel (I travel a lot for my job) and I meet other people randomly when I'm out and about. Unfortunately, I had a couple of experiences where men I was chatting with at an event or at a bar or something took my personality the wrong way and thought I was coming on to them - and were aggressive in response. It can make things uncomfortable and weird. For awhile it kept me from going out and about on my travels because I kept asking myself "What did I do wrong? Did I lead them on? Did I do something to make them think I'm interested?"

In the end, I decided I have to be aware of how I may be coming off to people - to a degree, but ultimately if people get the wrong impression and take it too far it's on them. If you receive unwanted attention or comments from people... just be firm and reassure them of your intentions and/or remind them that you're still the same guy!