Slippery slope of cross addiction?

Before surgery I had a stable friendship for about 6 years with someone I had known most of my life. It never progressed to a real relationship. It was just companionship when we each wanted it. I always relied on that relationship since I did not think I was attractive to the opposite sex. I was afraid to put myself out there.

Since having surgery, I have gained a lot of confidence from the attention that I have been given. I started dating about a month ago. My problem is that I haven't done this in so long I feel like I am getting out of control. I have been out with 4 different guys just in the last 4 days alone. I have another date scheduled for tomorrow. I am enjoying the attention too much. I know that cross addictions happen and it scares me. I feel like I could let myself go down that slope easily at this point. I know that I am going to be told to seek help and I am going to. I just felt like I had to get this out.

Dating is not a cross addiction unless you are already married.  You are single, over 21 and free to pursue as much dating as you want and as you have time and energy for.

Good perspective. Thank you

I agree with White Dove. Have fun. I did see several WLS friends of mine go through a period of severe promiscuity when they got thin, which was not good for their mental health. Just be wary of that.

I'm going to disagree with others because I think that behaviors which don't concern one person CAN be concerning to another person.  If you're concerned about this, and clearly you are because you're posting here about feeling out of control, then it's worth looking into.  If you're not already seeing a therapist, it might be worthwhile to add one to your toolbox - although I'd recommend finding a sex/relationship positive therapist because you really don't want someone who is going to treat you based on their own negative biases about dating!!  

I'm not judging you at all - I think that you can date as many people as you want as often as you want!  But if you're worried that you're out of control, that this could become addiction, and that this might start impacting other parts of your life, then that's the time to seek help.  And that's true of anything from alcohol, to chocolate, to attention seeking, or to food.  

It may not necessarily be a cross addiction, but from what you've said I would definitely check out the behavioral side of things.  If you experience a lack of control it is always good to check in with a counselor and examine your habits and patterns.  When I assess clients I look at pathology and function - for example, if our behavior is disruptive to our identity, values, or personal integrity, or if we feel a loss of control.  No one can assess this over the internet.  It has to be done in person.

I went back to counseling a few weeks ago myself and I am a therapist.  There is no shame in going and seeing what's up. Kudos to you for taking charge and having the courage to take the first steps :)

I wish I had an answer for you. Please just be careful. 

I completely understand what you're feeling. I have a history of this having gone through a period of "serial dating" a couple of years after my divorce. The therapist I was seeing at the time encouraged me, but I became addicted to the rush and didn't always make the best choices.  On a couple of occasions, I put myself in unsafe situations. My emotional state was a bit manic as well.

I believe dating and/or sex can definitely be an addiction. I'm not saying this is where you are but please stay aware. If you have a history of addiction be very aware and seek help from a therapist if you need to. If things get out of control sexually and/or emotionally you may want to check out SLAA.

I haven't dated since and will likely next year (I'm only 4 months post surgery). But I'll go into this very carefully and with the help of my (different) therapist.

Best to you and keep posting.  I'm betting this is a common experience here.

Thank you for sharing this. 

Thank you for sharing.