Hello Everyone

I wasn't quite sure if I was ready to even sign up on this site to post on this forum, but here I am. I'm a 30 yr old male who's 5 ft 11 in and 320 lbs. I've always been overweight/obese even back when I was a child. Both of my parents are morbidly obese and the food options growing up in the home were never healthy. I was never taught about proper nutrition and because I was home schooled I never exposed to any sort of exercise. I realize to an extent that it is a lot of my parents fault for being neglectful, but over the years I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just plain out addicted to food. It's my responsibility to take care of my own health and I'm failing. Over the years I've tried multiple diets and I've also followed a juicing diet. I had some success and lost 60 lbs, however I just recently gained it all back. I also have been diagnosed with major depression, OCD and Bipolar Type 1. So, this hasn't helped me not turn to comfort food. I have high blood pressure and my cholesterol is through the roof and I feel dominated completely. So, I guess I came on here to tell my story and look for others like me. I'm TIRED of not being a being able to be as active as I should and embarrassed to be seen in public. I'm also just plain tired! I've also noticed that my cravings for food are the strongest when I first wake up. It doesn't matter if I'm hungry or not! Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings.

Welcome!! Ok, so you know where you stand, how you got here and that's it's not healthy-- now what?

are you pursuing surgery? Want advice, just to vent? 

My story- 39 year old female, 16 months post op rny. Highest weight 337#. Like you was overweight/obese since childhood. My parents (mother) ridiculed me over my weight. Had she spent less time ridiculing me and taught me about nutrition I wouldn't have been so confused and clueless. I had therapy to work thorough my Mommy issues- I would have never been prepared to work through post op life if I hadn't. Unlike many who are obese, I didn't hate myself or find myself disgusting. Sure I'd have my moments-- but overall I was happy with my life. I saw surgery as my option to enhance my life and improve my health. Surgery has done exactly that for me. It's not easy-- but totally worth it. 

To be completely candid I'm not sure what I want. All I know is that I'm completely tired of being stuck in the same cycle. I've been reading different stories about surgeries and the variety of surgeries that are available. I don't know if even surgery could make successful. I always have these cravings and urges and at times emotionally binge eat. I'm afraid if I went with a surgery i would end up harming myself by not stopping these habits. I haven't even talked to my DR about it yet, and to be honest I'm quite embarrassed too. Even though my DR is a really sweet woman who cares a lot about my health. So, did you have any issues with cravings before surgery, if so, does having surgery curtail or change that at all?

I looked into surgery 5 yeas prior to going through with it-- I wasn't fond of the surgeon I met with and felt I could do it on my own. (See how well that worked out...)

I never spoke to my PCP about surgery-- I found the surgeon on my own and requested a referral through their electronic system. I didn't even see my PCP until I was a few weeks post-op. Some PCP's have strong feelings against WLS- so keep that in mind if your's doesn't seem supportive. 

My nemesis before surgery was sweets, and its still my nemesis after having surgery. Do I crave them yup. DO I dump; not really- only if I eat an excess of sweets. I have more acceptable replacements (sugar free jello/pudding etc). Do some days suck and I wish that I could have at it like I used to-- yup. But I get over it quickly- I signed up for this lifestyle and its up to me to ensure I get the most from it. 

Surgery works on your stomach, not on your head.

Surgery will make your stomach physically smaller, about the size of an egg or a banana depending on the type. It will NOT stop you from wanting to eat junk food, it will physically prevent you from having it. There are some folks here with binge eating issues who've had good luck after surgery, but it's taken emotional work/therapy/etc. in addition to the physical surgery.

If you're curious, I'd suggest finding a surgeon in your area and attending an information seminar. Your GP doesn't have to know about it, you can get more information directly from the surgeon about how things work, what risks are involved, and what the process looks like.

Hugs... You ...you did not have it easy. Your parents thought you best they knew themself.  I dontbtjink I would call that negligence.  In my family love was showed with food. Still is ...to a point. I always joke - " we feed people" I still love to cook for me and others. Love cooking for others.  But now I mostly cook healthy - well balanced meals...

What is in the past r0-  needs to stay in the past... Past can show you what not to do - 

I was glad to see that at 30 you realize that now it is up to you to make changes. Very mature..." I'm just plain out addicted to food. It's my responsibility to take care of my own health and I'm failing."

So many people keep blame their situation on the parents, siblings, spouses,...etc. 

First step is to know you have a problem and only you can fix it.  It will not be easy...I can promise you that...but it can be done. It may take a while to find a good therapist, good group of doctors (pcp, psychiatrist, counsellor, diatetian,.etc etc...) to help you.  Help you - because it will be up to you to do the hard work .., to not give up. 

Cravings in the morning may indicate lower blood sugar - even minor hypoglycemia (lower blood sugar that my body likes) can cause for me to go through my cupboards looking for a snack...Yeap . still...but now I know what it is - so I know what I need to do... I.e a small tsp of natural - no sugar added (NSA) peanut butter is very easy to take and helps to stabilize my blood sugar and allows me to make good choices for breakfast an hour or so later. 

Cravings first thing am may also indicate that your sleep was not very good (do you snore - wake up often- wake up tired?) and your body is looking for sugar to get a "quick fix" . I know I have my " 4 pm " cravings...when I am running low on energy and I am looking for a "quick fix " - like a candy bar in the past.  Now - I just eat protein forward small meal...and maybe a small square of dark chocolate when inknow I can fit that into my "menu".

Etc... A long journey starts with One step... Yours was realizing you have a problem that only you can fix. One small step...

Now - you need to make more of them... Decide you will fix it...you will not give up...

Good luck... 

 Before WLS I lost and regained 60-80 lbs over and over and over...so many diets ...I probably tried them all. 

Post op WLS - I am on a permanent diet - Way of Eating (WOE) . WLS gave me a tool ..that when I use correctly - not only I could lose weight and maintain- but I also do that while not being very hungry... I know I could not do that without it. 

Firstly, thank you for the kind post from both of you ladies. It is appreciated very much. It's always been a journey of acknowledgement for the need for change in my life. I was addicted to smoking and I have successfully quit as of 7 years ago or so. I'm also an alcoholic, but I've been sober since last September. So, I understand what I have to do, but with food it's seems to be the biggest devil I've ever faced. I guess mainly, because we all have to eat, we all have to be around food. So, controlling these cravings and these binge sessions are that much more difficult. Thankfully, I do have a very understanding therapist that I'm seeing do to the Bipolar and other issues, but we haven't spoken very much about the binge eating. Unfortunately my psychiatrist is nothing more than a refill dr. She doesn't do much in the way of diagnosing or listening to her patients, but she has no problems giving my meds that I was prescribed before I met her. In regards to my sleep, I do have very poor sleep patterns. This is very common with people who suffer from Bipolar. Even though I'm being treated I'm still having issues with feeling the need for sleep (hypomania) and other times I sleep too much. So, that wouldn't surprise me. I'm glad you mentioned it. I've done a little bit of research, but I believe I'm a candidate for the surgery. I have a BMI of 45 with a lot of comorbidity with my high blood pressure/cholesterol. I have an appointment with my regular doctor soon and I'm going to bring it up to her. To I just get a referral to see a bariatric DR?

Btw Peachpie I'm also in PA! Currently residing in the Lehigh Valley.

I lot of time you don't need referral to a bariatric center.  and they can start the process for you. 

as for food addiction - you are right - we have to eat. But - some food triggers my addiction...so I seldom have it in my house.  if it is not there - I can't binge on it.  Bread - almost any bread - but specially fresh bread or multigrain artisan type bread- ugh... so we don't keep it in the house. Some desserts -sweets - are my triggers - but others -they will go bad if my BF does not eat them... or I don't wrap that and put it in a freezer.  

after - I crave things - I allow myself one "cheat " meal every so often and I can have anything and everything I want.  Even if taht is MM or a butterfinger (sweets can make me violently ill - so I don't eat that often...) . When I want something really badly - I often make a deal with myself: I eat a good meal - wait 20 min .. and if I still want it - I can have a bite... Often - I don't want it after a meal... I was really hungry.

that's how I also recognize cravings from real hunger : cravings - I want a specific food - but when I am hungry - I will eat that darn chicken... 

so when you are hungry - will you eat the "chicken" or are the hunger really cravings? 

I also practice "smart" substitution": I want a cracker? - I use pork rinds... I can  only eat a portion... chocolate: only 85 or 90%. and so on...

good luck.  

As far as being tired all the time, you ALMOST assuredly have sleep apnea.  I was told by doctors that women (I know your a man) over 200 lbs and men who way over 220 pounds GENERALLY always have sleep apnea.  I, therefore, RECOMMEND that you ask your doctor about having a sleep study.  IF they diagnose you with sleep apnea you may need oxygen, c-pap, or bi-pap.  Losing weight MOST definitely helps the sleep apnea issue.  I had the LAP BAND surgery and have had tremendous weight loss and as a result of having the surgery and the weight loss I no longer have sleep apnea.

Now as far as feeling hungry all the time, I have learned that it is NOT really about hunger but OFTEN that you are dehydrated or because you MAY be hungry (if you haven't eaten regular meals), lonely, or tired.

Best of Luck!

Maronita

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!!!

I thought that I was the only one who had some of these issues.  I have made up my mind, and I am having surgery.  I'm on the downhill...

It's good that you can recognize that addiction.  Almost everyone in the world is addicted to food in some form or fashion...some healthy, some not.  I'm proud of you for posting this.  It's a good idea to find a psychologist/therapist that can help you through the eating disorder (binge eating).  It will help if you keep "trigger" foods out of the house and resolve to not eat fast food, or eat out more than once a month.  This is what I have done, and I'm doing fairly well with the cravings (I love carbs and sweets!)

Also, seeing a nutritionist will be beneficial for you in the long run, whether you decide on WLS or try to go at it the conventional way.

Hugs from TX and GOOD LUCK!!!