Bad WLS Example, that is me

That would be me.  I was a member here for four years and posted diligently.  I am 5'10 and went from 263 to 155 in 2011, I reached goal nine months after my surgery.   I was a model patient at first.  It changed my life.  I joined an organized sport, I got a trainer, I worked out 6x a week and did numerous 5K's and 10K's.  I went from a size 22 to a size 8.  I had some regain about 19 months in and went to 164 but I stayed the same size, I assumed most likely due to my weight lifting regime and workouts.

Fast forward to 2013.  I started going through a divorce (married 23 years with three kids).  I accepted a wonderful PR job that almost doubled my salary.  It involved taking clients to lunch frequently, happy hours 2-3 times a week, tons of schmoozing with potential and current clients.  I loved it.  I felt like I was "visible" for the first time in my life, as I had spent the majority of my 20's and 30's married and having kids and frankly, being fat and unhappy with myself.  

My divorce drug on for two years and was very ugly.  I now have a restraining order against him.  He was very unhappy about my weight loss, my newfound energy, my new job.  He is now engaged to someone who weighs probably a good 50 lbs more than I ever did at my highest weight.  I have a great boyfriend, very supportive, tons of fun, we are always on the go and traveling and spending a lot of time in the water, on the beach, in a boat, etc.

I've gained back 30 lbs over the last three years.  Very gradually.  I am as unhappy with that as I was at 263 lbs.    I am wearing size 12's and they are TIGHT.  I have a closet full of wonderful clothes I cannot wear, and I feel like I want to hide from the world.  My great job?  The company was bought out and my position was considered extraneous and was eliminated.  In the midst of all that, I started suffering from fainting spells related to the WLS -- or apparently its a common side effect a few years out.  During one of those spells,  I passed out at a restaurant and hit my head hard on the counter, resulting in a skull fracture and brain bleed that landed me in ICU for a week. 

My problem is not food or exercise.  I logged my food for the last three months and I routinely average about 1500-1700 calories in food intake -- I can eat pretty much anything except fried food and ice cream, but I generally will not eat more than a few bites of pasta or bread, ever, and I still fill up quickly.  I lean towards veggie omelets for breakfasts, salads, fish and chicken -- anything I eat that is "bad" for WLS patients makes me feel bad, so I don't eat it.  My problem is alcohol.  I am back working in the same industry I was before, and I know I drink too much -- it doesn't affect me adversely most of the time, I have a high tolerance (probably because I've built it up) and I am rarely, if ever, hungover.  And to be honest, I don't see it as a problem that I am drinking, I see it as a problem that I am gaining weight, which I know isn't the right approach.  I'd even be willing to cut my food intake by 500 calories a day and exercise more if I could do what I wanted to do and lose the weight anyway.  I have also been remiss about vitamin**** or miss, I would say, but I am back on top of them now.  I started drinking diet soda 6 months after my surgery and it never seemed to affect me adversely.  I now drink one a day, maybe, and that is usually because I have a headache or I am feeling like I need caffeine.

Has anyone else experienced this?  It would be very difficult for me to say I would never drink again.  I don't see it happening.  I don't drink at home, I don't drive when I drink, and I'm rarely actually "drunk."  

I am glad you posted this. I am a recovering alcoholic. I was one before surgery so I can't blame the surgery for my drinking. 

Never drinking again scared me. I thought I could only do things when I was drinking. Scary as it was. It is totally worth not drinking. As soon as I stopped drinking 20 pounds came off. 

Drinking does make our judgment cloudy when making food choices. If you are not eating that much when you drink you are drunk. I know a glass of wine I would be buzzed on. To drink more I know I was drunk.

I posted about myself not losing the weight I wanted to. Someone asked me why don't I think I am losing? I really had to take a good look at myself in the mirror and figure out what I was doing.

I went to an AA meeting and I go almost daily. I am not totally on board with the spiritual aspect of it. It does keep me accountable. Also it is nice to be in a group that understands my problem I have with alcohol. We can actually laugh at some of our experiences. To someone else it would be too embarrassing. 

Stop drinking alcohol. It is not worth the calories. Also  your liver will thank you for stopping. Going out you can have water with a splash of cranberry juice. I usually drink club soda with it. 

I wish you the best of luck. 

I am seriously thinking about it.  I am wondering if I can get through a week of events without it.  I went to an AA meeting with a friend once and I was SO uncomfortable -- mainly because I did NOT want to be there and did not want to NOT drink -- but I really didn't give it much of a chance.  

It is encouraging to hear that you lost twenty pounds right off the bat when you dropped alcohol!  That is certainly is motivating....how long did that take?

It is possible to stop drinking. 

I dropped it in less than two months. I got back my dignity though. Which means so  much more than the weight loss aspect. I it is a plus though.

Meetings were uncomfortable when I stopped drinking. I had to really look at myself. Which can be hard. I thought after WLS I would be normal. I did stop drinking right after I had the surgery. Then we went on vacation and I had wine. Starting out with just one glass then it turned into more. 

My life is easier without drinking.  Don't get me wrong there have been uncomfortable moments. Waking up in the morning is easier knowing I didn't text someone the night before or embarrassed myself in some way. 

Try going to AA again. Or get to a therapist who can guide you in the right direction. 

Someone posted that they try something four times before they decide to join something. Giving it a chance is worth it. 

Having my kids wanting to be around me is such a great feeling. They loved me before but I was a pain in the ass. They sit with me and talk about so many things now. Were before they would just hibernate in their rooms.

One day at a time. 

Lisa,

please don't take this the wrong way....I don't mean it to come across as harsh or mean. But when you say: "I am wondering if I can get through a week of events without it."--that's a red flag to me.

If you feel you cannot "do life" or function without alcohol, that is a cardinal sign of a dependence or addiction. Best of luck to you.

Hi Lisa - Thank you for sharing. I am only 20 months post op and VSG. Looking at your post it looks as though your calories are too high. I think you know you need to cut back on the alcohol or cut it out completely if you want to lose the regain. start visiting the forum again for accountability and get back to following your program. I believe you know the answers, you are just seeking verification and support. You can lose the regain over time by putting in the work and holding yourself accountable. good luck.

Calories are certainly too high when you add the alcohol to it...I know that.  I plan on checking in here daily for accountability.  Thank you.

Everyone has stress in life. Sickness, job loss, arguments, accidents, divorce, death of loved ones, and other life events do not cause regain. Regain only comes from taking in more calories than your body burns.

Everybody has regain by the end of year three. It is the body's way of recovering from the surgery. The only way to lose it is by cutting calories. Cutting 500 calories a day will result in one pound of weight loss a week. In 30 weeks you can lose 30 pounds.

Alcohol does not matter as long as you count the calories in the drinks. It takes 10 calories a day to maintain one pound. Eating 1700 calories a day should keep you at about 170. Going to 1200 will mean one pound a week of weight loss.

Wearing a fitness tracker inspires me to get in steps and that results in plenty of exercise for me.
Weigh yourself daily, get a food scale and weigh your portions, track everything with My Fitness Pal. I set my calories for 900 a day when I want to lose. For me that results in one pound lost every week.

I like that approach, it seems more reasonable to me in my current situation.....I decided this week I would diligently track ALL calories....and see exactly how much I am consuming!  I am burning 500 plus calories per day exercising, I know that -- I have a fitbit.

Just don't eat back those exercise calories.  They are a bonus but only cutting consumption will result in weight loss.

If It Fits Your Macros is the best place to start.