Pictures and shame
It is a good thing that you recognize how you feel - but, in another 6-10,months when your weight is approaching a normal BMI - will you feel this way about your still-heavy friends - probably not. SO you may need to cut yourself some slack and be reasonable. Time will help you heal your embarrassment and come to put a healthier perspective on your former appearance. Since this is an issue for you, you might want to take a few pictures of you each month to help you process all the changes you will be going through.
At 133#/9% body fat now, I keep a picture of myself at 284 taped on the back of my phone. I can look at it without shame and with appreciation of the changes I have made- a cousin who has since passed in the the photo with me. I show it to people at my WLS Support Group so they know I am on the same journey as them, and not some skinny woman sitting in the corner who never worried about her weight. At 19 months post, op, that is my perspective on my former physical apperance. You will come to feel your own sense of peace with your former body.
9% body fat? Elite female athletes generally have around 14%. Are you sure it was measured accurately? I'm sure you are lean, but 9% does not sound reasonable.
Laura in Texas
53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)
RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis
brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco
"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."
I feel the same way - but it's what the scale at the dr's office prints out, so I go with it, having nothing better. I am at the 98% of muscularity for women, according to the same scale. Weight training rocks! I wish I had a before % BF on the same scale to compare with. As you probably know, the most reliable way is a post-mortem analysis, so I'll have to wait for that. Now that I'm wearing a size 4 - I figure it's not too far off. I'm still recovering from my latest surgeries, so I'm not sure where I'll end up - this is thin for me, but I'll see what happens in another year.
My real point is that we are still ourselves, MO or lean, and that we make small steps in accepting ourselves, not matter what our appearance. That picture of my cousin and me has really helped - as an adult my cousin Chuck never cared what I weighted and loved me always. (Chuck, I still luv and miss ya.
)
Sharon 
9% body fat in a woman is really anorexic level- body fasting .... I think the 9% maybe viseral fat ..that fat is more important than overall body fat. My scale measure that beside the overall body fat%
Visceral fat is the body fat that is stored in the abdominal cavity. Carrying excess body fat in the abdominal area places you at greater risk for chronic diseases including heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes. For optimal health, your visceral fat rating should stay under 13.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Use that as a tool - make that to be your reminder why you do what you do. And why long term you need to keep working on it.
I had a few pictures preop that showed me how I looked ...I still have those images burned in my mind. That's why I am working really hard to maintain. Because I don't want to get back to the MO state evere again.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Your feelings make me angry. Not angry at you for feeling them, but angry because of the society that we live in that sets unrealistic standards and bases the image of beauty on how fat or skinny someone is. You are so beautiful, no matter what your weight, no matter how close to the standard of beauty set down by our society. You are beautiful at any weight, shape or color. We all have things that are beautiful, even if we don't conform to what is commonly thought at beautiful. Your job now is the find that beauty inside of yourself and make it shine.
love yourself!
Age: 44 | Height: 5' 3" | Starting January 2015: 291 | RNY 8/4/15 with Dr. Arthur Carlin| Goal: 150
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. ~Proverbs 19:20
