Pictures and shame

9% body fat? Elite female athletes generally have around 14%. Are you sure it was measured accurately? I'm sure you are lean, but 9% does not sound reasonable.

I feel the same way - but it's what the scale at the dr's office prints out, so I go with it, having nothing better. I am at the 98% of muscularity for women, according to the same scale.  Weight training rocks!  I wish I had a before % BF on the same scale to compare with.  As you probably know, the most reliable way is a post-mortem analysis, so I'll have to wait for that.  Now that I'm wearing a size 4 - I figure it's not too far off. I'm still recovering from my latest surgeries, so I'm not sure where I'll end up - this is thin for me, but I'll see what happens in another year.

My real point is that we are still ourselves, MO or lean, and that we make small steps in accepting ourselves, not matter what our appearance.  That picture of my cousin and me has really helped - as an adult my cousin Chuck never cared what I weighted and loved me always.  (Chuck, I still luv and miss ya.)

Thank you and I'm sorry for your loss.  

Thank you - he was so much fun.  He sent me cards and newspaper clippings and mass cards (and I'm not even Catholic).  He was a great guy.

Best wishes for all aspects of your WL journey.

9% body fat in a woman is really anorexic level- body fasting .... I think the 9% maybe viseral fat ..that fat is more important than overall body fat. My scale measure that beside the overall body fat%

https://www.google.com/search?q=visceral+fat&oq=vicereal+&aq s=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.12097j0j4&client=tablet-android-verizon &sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Visceral fat is the body fat that is stored in the abdominal cavity. Carrying excess body fat in the abdominal area places you at greater risk for chronic diseases including heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes. For optimal health, your visceral fat rating should stay under 13.

Use that as a tool - make that to be your reminder why you do what you do. And why long term you need to keep working on it. 

I had a few pictures preop that showed me how I looked ...I still have those images burned in my mind. That's why I am working really hard to maintain. Because I don't want to get back to the MO state evere again. 

I didn't want pictures of my fat self.  I wish I had more of them now.  Part of my journey has been to become unashamed of the fat me.  Before I can truely love the skinny me I have to love the fat me.  He is still in here.

I never thought of looking at it that way.  Thank you and you're so right. 

I had surgery in Dec 2014, so about the same time as you.  It's only been since the beginning of this year, that I started to accept, without judgement, my MO self.  Kudoos to us both.

Your feelings make me angry.  Not angry at you for feeling them, but angry because of the society that we live in that sets unrealistic standards and bases the image of beauty on how fat or skinny someone is.  You are so beautiful, no matter what your weight, no matter how close to the standard of beauty set down by our society.  You are beautiful at any weight, shape or color.  We all have things that are beautiful, even if we don't conform to what is commonly thought at beautiful.  Your job now is the find that beauty inside of yourself and make it shine.  

love yourself!